I never understood the difference between public and private until today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TRUE STORY GUYS: Went to FCPS public and JMU. Every freshman dorm building had one tiny room that used to be a closet/ storage room that had been converted to a double and was in the lobby. All the other rooms were triples off suites with living rooms.

One of the girls who was assigned the Mop Room showed up the first day and was literally in hysterics begging to have her room changed. A girl who was in a triple offered to switch with her but she refused once she saw how small the triple rooms were. Then she was freaking out that there was no air conditioning. This girl was miserable for weeks and every time I saw her, she was complaining about the room, the heat, the bathrooms, etc. Turns out she went to a swanky boarding school in CA and never actually toured JMU, it was her backup school. The rooms must be SO nice at those schools. She was disgusted by everything!

I don’t know if anyone else has seen Foxcroft’s (swanky boarding school in va) dorm rooms but they are nothing special at all. Just cinderblock walls and two beds in a room.

Step-cousin went to a boarding school somewhere in CA (Monterey? Santa Barbara?) and the pictures I saw on facebook of her dorm room looked much nicer than college dorms. And big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

I don't know how well "raising a grounded, down to earth kid" goes with the attitude that public school is something to "down shift" to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

OP, reread these sentences a few times. This doesn't make sense. Children spend most of their hours at school and with their classmates. "Fixing" what attitudes they learn in school outside of school doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

I don't know how well "raising a grounded, down to earth kid" goes with the attitude that public school is something to "down shift" to.

Well, I don’t want them to have a chip on their shoulder...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not so much the schools (ie, the building), but the teachers, parents and students. I had DS at a MD public elementary school for two years, which felt like a lifetime.

How is their special education program?

For the special ed kids, it looked great. For my ADHD kid, having the special ed kids was one more unneeded distraction. (There were 4 autistic kids in his small 32 person classroom.)

Really? How entitled of you.
I’ll bet that your kid was the distraction to everyone !

He was! So we adjusted his meds so he wouldn’t impede the education of the children of other taxpayers.

But entitled? Well, I pay over $70k per year in Maryland taxes, so I should be able to send junior to a decent public school where his education — and not half-assed social engineering — is the top priority.

It's a common misconception -- particularly among people who pay a lot in taxes, apparently -- that taxes are user fees. But they're not.

Also, what you call social engineering, I call the expectation that ALL children, including children with disabilities, have an equal right to a decent public school where their education is the top priority.

Government is a service we buy, like trash removal or dishwasher repair, to do things we cannot do ourselves, generally to resolve collective action problems. (No one would individually build a road or design an aircraft carrier.) As such, taxes are indeed user fees -- money we pay for these services. Every few years we get the chance to change the service provider (I've switched my Internet, cell phone and lawn care company less frequently) through elections. If I am paying a $70k user fee for state-provided services, I expect them to be good.

Public education is one such collective action problem -- I have no intention of opening a little red schoolhouse or home-schooling my children. And I fully support using my user fees to pay to educate children with disabilities. However, I do not support structuring the educational environment in such a way that the education of one group materially and negatively impacts the education of another group. In the case of junior's time in the MD public school system, putting four special needs kids in with 28 other children was a significant distraction to the one already-frazzled 4th grade teacher, who then off-loaded part of the responsibility to care for them to the other non-special needs children, including junior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Government is a service we buy, like trash removal or dishwasher repair, to do things we cannot do ourselves, generally to resolve collective action problems. (No one would individually build a road or design an aircraft carrier.) As such, taxes are indeed user fees -- money we pay for these services. Every few years we get the chance to change the service provider (I've switched my Internet, cell phone and lawn care company less frequently) through elections. If I am paying a $70k user fee for state-provided services, I expect them to be good.

Public education is one such collective action problem -- I have no intention of opening a little red schoolhouse or home-schooling my children. And I fully support using my user fees to pay to educate children with disabilities. However, I do not support structuring the educational environment in such a way that the education of one group materially and negatively impacts the education of another group. In the case of junior's time in the MD public school system, putting four special needs kids in with 28 other children was a significant distraction to the one already-frazzled 4th grade teacher, who then off-loaded part of the responsibility to care for them to the other non-special needs children, including junior.

No. If taxes were user fees, then you wouldn't pay public-school taxes unless you had a child in school; and, conversely, if you didn't pay taxes, you would not be allowed to send your child to school. But that's not how it works. Every child gets to go to school, regardless of how much or how little their parents pay in taxes. And everyone has to pay taxes, regardless of whether or not they have a child in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a proponent of public education, but now that I have to means and opportunity to send my child to a top tier private school, I am changing my tune.
I toured a school today and my world has really been rocked. I just had no idea, it’s a completely different planet. Anyone else experience this? We just left the DC area. It is obviously a nationally recognized school, but not one of the schools discussed here.
For a bit of perspective, my family was zoned to public school with a very low “ score” in a much maligned close in part of Va before we left.
The public schools in our new commmnity are very well regarded. I never thought I would consider private.
Now I can’t unsee this.

Where are you bases? America? East coast or middle or west coast? Baltimore? I do t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a proponent of public education, but now that I have to means and opportunity to send my child to a top tier private school, I am changing my tune.
I toured a school today and my world has really been rocked. I just had no idea, it’s a completely different planet. Anyone else experience this? We just left the DC area. It is obviously a nationally recognized school, but not one of the schools discussed here.
For a bit of perspective, my family was zoned to public school with a very low “ score” in a much maligned close in part of Va before we left.
The public schools in our new commmnity are very well regarded. I never thought I would consider private.
Now I can’t unsee this.

Where are you bases? America? East coast or middle or west coast? Baltimore? I do t get it.

We can tell.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the campus has amazing resources. Be careful, though, about the school culture at fancy privates. Read the parent handbook carefully. (Is there an honor council? Do the students have rights if they are falsely accused? How have they handled bullies?) Read the student newspaper carefully. (Does the school have strong political leanings? Would people of diverse backgrounds be comfortable here?) Ask for details about the curriculum. (Who chooses your child's courses? How do they handle out-of-level placement?) See if you can arrange to talk to some families who have left the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the campus has amazing resources. Be careful, though, about the school culture at fancy privates. Read the parent handbook carefully. (Is there an honor council? Do the students have rights if they are falsely accused? How have they handled bullies?) Read the student newspaper carefully. (Does the school have strong political leanings? Would people of diverse backgrounds be comfortable here?) Ask for details about the curriculum. (Who chooses your child's courses? How do they handle out-of-level placement?) See if you can arrange to talk to some families who have left the school.

These are wonderful suggestions, thank you. I’ve been dazzled, but I need to think critically.

[Anonymous]

You were dazzled. The tour served its purpose from the school’s pov. My advice is go private. You will never be happy at public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not so much the schools (ie, the building), but the teachers, parents and students. I had DS at a MD public elementary school for two years, which felt like a lifetime.

How is their special education program?

For the special ed kids, it looked great. For my ADHD kid, having the special ed kids was one more unneeded distraction. (There were 4 autistic kids in his small 32 person classroom.)

Really? How entitled of you.
I’ll bet that your kid was the distraction to everyone !

He was! So we adjusted his meds so he wouldn’t impede the education of the children of other taxpayers.

But entitled? Well, I pay over $70k per year in Maryland taxes, so I should be able to send junior to a decent public school where his education — and not half-assed social engineering — is the top priority.

Over $70k a year in state taxes alone? What is your HHI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

I don't know how well "raising a grounded, down to earth kid" goes with the attitude that public school is something to "down shift" to.

+1

Also, "some private schools have really nice facilities" should not come as a shock to anyone with half a brain. They are trying to get parents to shell out $30-$40K a year--the bells and whistles are part of what you are paying for when you are paying for private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school is obviously a luxury, not a necessity, but the “ it would be too pleasant for the kid” argument is a strange argument. Schools vary, but my kids attend privates than are significantly more rigorous academically and physically (sports required) and more diverse than our highly ranked local public schools. By middle school, kids are expected to handle any issues with teachers themselves, by either seeking extra help from teacher during afternoon recess, or seeking out a trusted adult, like their advisor. Public speaking is a requirement, and every student is required to give a speech in front of their whole division in 8 th and 12th grade. In contrast, my kids were gliding through our public school with straight As with minimum effort.

Thank you for this perspective. I also need to consider my child being unable to catch up, if we start at public. Seems it would be easier to down shift to public if needed. Middle school might be too late. We have very real concerns about raising a grounded, down to earth kid. That might not be justified. Maybe we work really hard on that outside of school.

I don't know how well "raising a grounded, down to earth kid" goes with the attitude that public school is something to "down shift" to.

+1

Also, "some private schools have really nice facilities" should not come as a shock to anyone with half a brain. They are trying to get parents to shell out $30-$40K a year--the bells and whistles are part of what you are paying for when you are paying for private.

Thank you for joining this discussion. What can you share from your experience sending a child to a school similar to OP?