I never understood the difference between public and private until today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What left you awestruck?

The facility for starters.
I just toured the lower campus for preschool through 8th. It had 2 gymnasiums, a pool, amazing art and music studios. All children take up an instrument. The science lab space is amazing, and they are expanding to a new innovative stem center. There is crazy fabrication shop. All kids take Spanish and Mandarin. The library has fireplaces.
It was magical
I toured Hogwarts.

this is precisely why i didn't want my kids in the private school. it's a school, not a resort. they don't need any of those facilities.

There is no way this is your actual position. You don't want your kids in private school because the facilities are too nice? Now I've heard it all. Just admit you can't afford it / your kids couldn't get in / you value the experience of public education / whatever your reason is. But this makes you sound like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools cherry pick and are exclusive. They were not an option for my children.

Good for you. (You wanted a congratulations for your stance, it was clear).

I seriously hope that you people who act like you're so open-minded realize that you're being close-minded and judgmental about private school families. You think you're teaching your kids to be accepting of everyone, but you're telling them out of the other side of your mouth that private school kids are elitist and snobby. It never fails to amaze me how unbelievably hypocritical some people are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

you sound dumb; no wonder you are impressed by bells and whistles.
many people with money still wouldn't sent their kids to a private school and they are giving you their reasons.

Have they? I’ve read people say, “ ifwe had the money we wouldn’t” “ if my child was accepted”
It makes me think people don’t entertain the idea simply because it isn’t an option.

there were many different responses that gave you many reasons. but you seem dead set on believe that everyone who could do it would do it. so keep thinking that. private schools are created for stupid people like you.

So you’re the earlier PP who supposedly went to Harvard, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money were no object, I would move to a place with great public schools I didn’t have to Lotto to get into.

The social effects of exposure to the “great facilities” at such a young age are not what I want for my kid.

Would you mind elaborating on the social effects of great facilities.

Entitlement. Distance from the lived experience of most age peers. Inability to navigate, or discomfort when navigating, circumstances that do not meet physical plant expectations and attendant social norms. Lack of comprehension of the vast and growing gap between the ultra-rich and everyone else in the US.

I teach college students, so I’ve seen all of these coming through. I was in college myself when I first met a kid whose parents bought a major work of modern art (and by “major” I mean Matisse) for each kid’s birth. I would rather my kid not encounter that until a similar age.

You seem to paint private school families with a really broad stroke. I imagine the kids who suffer from the things you list also exist in public schools in these very rich areas of VA and MD. I grew up with people who did the equivalent of buying a Matisse for each kid's birth. I don't see why it would have been better for me to not know those people until I was in college. My friends I made who grew up in poor areas who had never met people like that actually seemed to be the ones who had a harder time dealing with that than I did. They also tended to be less knowledgeable about the "gap" you speak of because they had lived in a homogeneous town their whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money were no object, I would move to a place with great public schools I didn’t have to Lotto to get into.

The social effects of exposure to the “great facilities” at such a young age are not what I want for my kid.

Would you mind elaborating on the social effects of great facilities.

Entitlement. Distance from the lived experience of most age peers. Inability to navigate, or discomfort when navigating, circumstances that do not meet physical plant expectations and attendant social norms. Lack of comprehension of the vast and growing gap between the ultra-rich and everyone else in the US.

I teach college students, so I’ve seen all of these coming through. I was in college myself when I first met a kid whose parents bought a major work of modern art (and by “major” I mean Matisse) for each kid’s birth. I would rather my kid not encounter that until a similar age.

I tend to agree. I work with someone who went to a prestigious private school in the DC area. I am amazed how ignorant she can be at times. One time, she decided that she didn't want to go to a restaurant because she saw on yelp that most of the patrons were black.

I went to a prestigious private school. I would never think that much less say that. (I'm white and I'm assuming she is, too). So because of one narrow-minded person you think all private school people are the same? Do you seriously not see how you are doing the exact same thing you criticize other people for doing? (STEREOTYPING?!?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What left you awestruck?

The facility for starters.
I just toured the lower campus for preschool through 8th. It had 2 gymnasiums, a pool, amazing art and music studios. All children take up an instrument. The science lab space is amazing, and they are expanding to a new innovative stem center. There is crazy fabrication shop. All kids take Spanish and Mandarin. The library has fireplaces.
It was magical
I toured Hogwarts.

this is precisely why i didn't want my kids in the private school. it's a school, not a resort. they don't need any of those facilities.

There is no way this is your actual position. You don't want your kids in private school because the facilities are too nice? Now I've heard it all. Just admit you can't afford it / your kids couldn't get in / you value the experience of public education / whatever your reason is. But this makes you sound like an idiot.

i actually don't want facilities that are too nice. it's in actual negative for me, not something I can't afford or is not worth the cost.
my kids couldn't get in?! now i heard it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

OP, I went to private K-12. My husband went to public K-12. Comparing schools is like comparing apples and oranges, but he was in a very good school district in MD, for what that's worth. I loved my school. I loved going to school. I loved learning. I loved my teachers. I loved that we took amazing class trips from 6-12 grade (like week-long trips in other states). I loved the fact that everyone knew everyone else. I loved how intensely my English teachers paid attention to my writing so that I had to work really hard at it. I loved how my school made us take art classes and play sports and do volunteer hours every year to expose us to things we might have otherwise not chosen to do. I love the fact that 20 years later our class is still super close. I could go on and on. My husband liked nothing about his school. He has no connection to it (I still wear t-shirts from my school, use pens with the logo, drink coffee out of a mug from there). He hasn't gone to a single reunion (I haven't missed one and the school is thousands of miles away from our house). He doesn't remember any of his teachers names (I am friends with several on Facebook and stay in touch). His parents know none of his friends' names (my parents can name every single kid in my class and their parents). Again, I could go on and on. Private school and public school offer different things. And not all privates or publics are created equal. But if you find a private school that you love and you can afford, then why wouldn't you send your child there? I wouldn't pay for just any private, but I will pay for the one my children go to because it is worth it on all accounts. They are having a similar experience to the one I had, and that's all I wanted. And by the way, lest people assume that I beat my public school attending husband into submission, he was on the fence about private school but once we toured this one he fell in love and has been happy every single day since that that's where our children go. We just had a round of parent teacher conferences and he again commented on how amazed he was with the school. So OP, if you love it, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

you sound dumb; no wonder you are impressed by bells and whistles.
many people with money still wouldn't sent their kids to a private school and they are giving you their reasons.

Have they? I’ve read people say, “ ifwe had the money we wouldn’t” “ if my child was accepted”
It makes me think people don’t entertain the idea simply because it isn’t an option.

there were many different responses that gave you many reasons. but you seem dead set on believe that everyone who could do it would do it. so keep thinking that. private schools are created for stupid people like you.

And public schools were created so nasty people like you could send your kids there but pretend to be all worldly and accepting while secretly bad-mouthing others.

[Anonymous]

We've done privates, and I went to private. The physical plant is a big part of the appeal; they just have everything, and there's plenty of space, and things get fixed, etc..

HOWEVER, I can say 100% that the facilities aren't the be-all/end-all. After reading that article in the Times about schools with no desks and 20-year-old books, I won't claim that all public school districts are equally good, but a decent public-school won't necessarily be less fun, even if it's a standard boring play ground, and in the lower grades especially, I think you get better teachers in public school.

What you do gain in private school is better responsiveness to parents, IMO, though if your public isn't overcrowded, they can be responsive, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What left you awestruck?

The facility for starters.
I just toured the lower campus for preschool through 8th. It had 2 gymnasiums, a pool, amazing art and music studios. All children take up an instrument. The science lab space is amazing, and they are expanding to a new innovative stem center. There is crazy fabrication shop. All kids take Spanish and Mandarin. The library has fireplaces.
It was magical
I toured Hogwarts.

this is precisely why i didn't want my kids in the private school. it's a school, not a resort. they don't need any of those facilities.

There is no way this is your actual position. You don't want your kids in private school because the facilities are too nice? Now I've heard it all. Just admit you can't afford it / your kids couldn't get in / you value the experience of public education / whatever your reason is. But this makes you sound like an idiot.

i actually don't want facilities that are too nice. it's in actual negative for me, not something I can't afford or is not worth the cost.
my kids couldn't get in?! now i heard it all.

So did your kids apply and they got in and you decided not to send them? Or you just assume that they'd get in because you're awesome? And I didn't say that was the reason you were hating on private schools, but I guess your reading comprehension isn't up to par. I'll try to use shorter sentences next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

OP, I went to private K-12. My husband went to public K-12. Comparing schools is like comparing apples and oranges, but he was in a very good school district in MD, for what that's worth. I loved my school. I loved going to school. I loved learning. I loved my teachers. I loved that we took amazing class trips from 6-12 grade (like week-long trips in other states). I loved the fact that everyone knew everyone else. I loved how intensely my English teachers paid attention to my writing so that I had to work really hard at it. I loved how my school made us take art classes and play sports and do volunteer hours every year to expose us to things we might have otherwise not chosen to do. I love the fact that 20 years later our class is still super close. I could go on and on. My husband liked nothing about his school. He has no connection to it (I still wear t-shirts from my school, use pens with the logo, drink coffee out of a mug from there). He hasn't gone to a single reunion (I haven't missed one and the school is thousands of miles away from our house). He doesn't remember any of his teachers names (I am friends with several on Facebook and stay in touch). His parents know none of his friends' names (my parents can name every single kid in my class and their parents). Again, I could go on and on. Private school and public school offer different things. And not all privates or publics are created equal. But if you find a private school that you love and you can afford, then why wouldn't you send your child there? I wouldn't pay for just any private, but I will pay for the one my children go to because it is worth it on all accounts. They are having a similar experience to the one I had, and that's all I wanted. And by the way, lest people assume that I beat my public school attending husband into submission, he was on the fence about private school but once we toured this one he fell in love and has been happy every single day since that that's where our children go. We just had a round of parent teacher conferences and he again commented on how amazed he was with the school. So OP, if you love it, go for it.

That sense of "family" was the best part of my private school. As I get older, though, I am starting to question why I'm maintaining any connection (especially giving to their annual fund). It feels a little like giving money to keep watering the lawns in Cape Town. My kids will move every 2-3 years and won't get that family sense anywhere, and I like to think I can spot a good public school, too, before it gets to the point your husband described.

I went to private, and DH went to public; I also loved school and excelled, and DH did ok and didn't like school. But then I went to a huge state university and loved it, too, while he went to a prestigious private university that he also didn't like. So maybe it wasn't the schools ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

OP, I went to private K-12. My husband went to public K-12. Comparing schools is like comparing apples and oranges, but he was in a very good school district in MD, for what that's worth. I loved my school. I loved going to school. I loved learning. I loved my teachers. I loved that we took amazing class trips from 6-12 grade (like week-long trips in other states). I loved the fact that everyone knew everyone else. I loved how intensely my English teachers paid attention to my writing so that I had to work really hard at it. I loved how my school made us take art classes and play sports and do volunteer hours every year to expose us to things we might have otherwise not chosen to do. I love the fact that 20 years later our class is still super close. I could go on and on. My husband liked nothing about his school. He has no connection to it (I still wear t-shirts from my school, use pens with the logo, drink coffee out of a mug from there). He hasn't gone to a single reunion (I haven't missed one and the school is thousands of miles away from our house). He doesn't remember any of his teachers names (I am friends with several on Facebook and stay in touch). His parents know none of his friends' names (my parents can name every single kid in my class and their parents). Again, I could go on and on. Private school and public school offer different things. And not all privates or publics are created equal. But if you find a private school that you love and you can afford, then why wouldn't you send your child there? I wouldn't pay for just any private, but I will pay for the one my children go to because it is worth it on all accounts. They are having a similar experience to the one I had, and that's all I wanted. And by the way, lest people assume that I beat my public school attending husband into submission, he was on the fence about private school but once we toured this one he fell in love and has been happy every single day since that that's where our children go. We just had a round of parent teacher conferences and he again commented on how amazed he was with the school. So OP, if you love it, go for it.

That sense of "family" was the best part of my private school. As I get older, though, I am starting to question why I'm maintaining any connection (especially giving to their annual fund). It feels a little like giving money to keep watering the lawns in Cape Town. My kids will move every 2-3 years and won't get that family sense anywhere, and I like to think I can spot a good public school, too, before it gets to the point your husband described.

I went to private, and DH went to public; I also loved school and excelled, and DH did ok and didn't like school. But then I went to a huge state university and loved it, too, while he went to a prestigious private university that he also didn't like. So maybe it wasn't the schools ...

FWIW, I think K-12s and colleges are totally different. Maybe you are more the kind of person to embrace whatever situation you are in than your husband, but of all my friends, the only ones I know who still have strong relationships with the K-12 are the ones who went to private school. It would be hard if we were going to move a lot. I still think I'd do private school (assuming my kids could get in - it can be really difficult depending on the grade and school), but I'm not sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

If the most expensive private schools cost 1%-5% maximum of our gross income and so truly money was not an issue, and I could choose any school at all, I think that probably my life would be so different from what it is now that I might not be asking that question. So that's one thing; with that kind of money, you might live in multiple places during the years, have tutors part of the year, etc.. You might also just do what everyone in your social group does.

If private school was more like 5%-15% of our gross income, so entirely doable, but still something where we could do something else with that money, I'd probably do it. Not because private schools are always better, but because then I wouldn't have to concern myself with school districts or the annoyances of public school rules and bureaucracy. Part of what you buy with private school is freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

you sound dumb; no wonder you are impressed by bells and whistles.
many people with money still wouldn't sent their kids to a private school and they are giving you their reasons.

Have they? I’ve read people say, “ ifwe had the money we wouldn’t” “ if my child was accepted”
It makes me think people don’t entertain the idea simply because it isn’t an option.

there were many different responses that gave you many reasons. but you seem dead set on believe that everyone who could do it would do it. so keep thinking that. private schools are created for stupid people like you.

And public schools were created so nasty people like you could send your kids there but pretend to be all worldly and accepting while secretly bad-mouthing others.

oh i am not doing it secretly. everyone who knows me knows what i think about private schools and people who send their kids there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Exeter. My children go to a Title I DCPS. So I know what you mean. I'd switch them in middle or high school if I could afford it. It really is a different world.

Ok...
This is what we want to hear about.
I’m the OP of this thread, and I had sort of given up here. Posters are having a really hard time with time with the money aspect of this discussion. I don’t need a cost benefit analysis. The cost is not the issue.
If money wasn’t an issue, would you have them in private starting in pre K and continuing all the way through?
Do you see a benefit to their DCPS title 1 school?

you sound dumb; no wonder you are impressed by bells and whistles.
many people with money still wouldn't sent their kids to a private school and they are giving you their reasons.

Have they? I’ve read people say, “ ifwe had the money we wouldn’t” “ if my child was accepted”
It makes me think people don’t entertain the idea simply because it isn’t an option.

there were many different responses that gave you many reasons. but you seem dead set on believe that everyone who could do it would do it. so keep thinking that. private schools are created for stupid people like you.

And public schools were created so nasty people like you could send your kids there but pretend to be all worldly and accepting while secretly bad-mouthing others.

oh i am not doing it secretly. everyone who knows me knows what i think about private schools and people who send their kids there.

I've never encountered anyone as rude and vile as you in any of the private schools that I or my children have attended. I'm grateful you stick to public schools.