In case anyone still thinks spanking is okay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL...so many fragile white people here. Damn.

Hey, I'm white and I spank. But, I know what you're saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL...so many fragile white people here. Damn.

+1 these conversations are really rooted in racism and classism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pro spanking. I was spanked. It made me try harder because I feared upsetting my parents. I was taught respect and I am so thankful that I was spanked. This generation is so screwed.

I'm sorry you continued a cycle of abuse.

Uh huh. You need perspective, if you think that spanking is only and always abuse.

Spanking is always abuse - but clearly not the only form of abuse. But make no mistake - causing your child physical pain on purpose - actually taking your hand to strike a child with the objective being to hurt that child - is most definitely abuse.

Err...no.

If you hit another person’s child or an adult for that matter you’d go to jail.

[Anonymous]

Since the studies show that 80-90 percent of American parents have spanked their children, this has little to do with racism or classism.

I know many, many POC and lower income people who do NOT spank. And plenty of middle-upper class white christians who do.

So go ahead and put aside the classist racist stuff.

What I am hearing from several parents is this: we went from yelling and screaming to hitting and/or we have to punish less because now we just hit. Like, what?

Half the people who say this crap say they were spanked as children and they turned out okay.

Clearly not because you think it is okay to hit a child.

Call it swat, smack, pat, whatever BS word you want. You are HITTING your child.

Our job as parents is to raise productive, healthy, conflict solving good citizens. At lest two of those attributes is diminished by resorting to spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since the studies show that 80-90 percent of American parents have spanked their children, this has little to do with racism or classism.

I know many, many POC and lower income people who do NOT spank. And plenty of middle-upper class white christians who do.

So go ahead and put aside the classist racist stuff.

What I am hearing from several parents is this: we went from yelling and screaming to hitting and/or we have to punish less because now we just hit. Like, what?

Half the people who say this crap say they were spanked as children and they turned out okay.

Clearly not because you think it is okay to hit a child.

Call it swat, smack, pat, whatever BS word you want. You are HITTING your child.

Our job as parents is to raise productive, healthy, conflict solving good citizens. At lest two of those attributes is diminished by resorting to spanking.

Are, not is.

And I totally disagree. You offer no basis for that statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We spanked occasionally, in the old fashioned "come over here and get over my lap" way.

Like someone said above, what it meant was that we ended up doing far less disciplining and punishing that we otherwise would have had to. It meant that we could be a lot more relaxed and have a lot more fun with our kids the other 99.8% of the time.

My youngest might still get a spanking occasionally, but it's very rare now.

I remember my dad telling me to “come over here and bend over my lap for your spanking.” The moment from that until I got to his lap were the most fearful moments of my life. It was terrifying to me. Much like I imagine it would fell to be walking to an execution. That’s how it feels from a child’s perspective.
That’s what I remember—NOT whatever behavior got me spanked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We spanked occasionally, in the old fashioned "come over here and get over my lap" way.

Like someone said above, what it meant was that we ended up doing far less disciplining and punishing that we otherwise would have had to. It meant that we could be a lot more relaxed and have a lot more fun with our kids the other 99.8% of the time.

My youngest might still get a spanking occasionally, but it's very rare now.

I remember my dad telling me to “come over here and bend over my lap for your spanking.” The moment from that until I got to his lap were the most fearful moments of my life. It was terrifying to me. Much like I imagine it would fell to be walking to an execution. That’s how it feels from a child’s perspective.
That’s what I remember—NOT whatever behavior got me spanked.

I remember the same thing, and I think you're being entirely too dramatic. And if I was just a little bit scared, so what? Kids should be a wee bit scared of getting into big trouble.

[Anonymous]

How can anyone think that purposely inflicting physical pain on a little kid is a good idea? It is barbaric.

I managed to raise four loving, successful and happy sons without ever raising my hand to them.

Striking a child is the laziest form of discipline. Pathetic parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can anyone think that purposely inflicting physical pain on a little kid is a good idea? It is barbaric.

I managed to raise four loving, successful and happy sons without ever raising my hand to them.

Striking a child is the laziest form of discipline. Pathetic parenting.

You keep bleating the same thing over and over. Plenty of reasonable and thoughtful people have already addressed this. At this point, your failure to understand is on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP here.

Just chiming in to say that spanking doesn't have to be the end of the world, and sometimes solves problems in a less-traumatic way than what parents resort to, ie, yelling, nagging, or enduring months or years of the bad behavior.

Like all parenting, it has to be done judiciously. You have to know your kid. You have to choose your moment, be in control of your emotions, correctly explain what you meant by it later on, etc. It's not the same as randomly hitting your child every time you're feeling lousy.

Of course people who are scared of the world and like to simplify it with black and white thinking will not like this point of view.

No, PP. Disciplining a child by the use of physical pain is always 100% wrong. It is black and white.

m
Why, because you say so.

[Anonymous]

Parenting is not simple. Absolute statements that shame other parents’ choices implies a need to assert superiority. The words I have seen here from the anti-spammers are a form of bullying plain and simple. One study is one study. I am sure you could find a study proving otherwise. I do not spank. However, I have used it as a tool in my toolbox at select times in the past. Spanking when given in a controlled way in private can be an effective way to make children know that you are in control—which they need to feel safe. In fact, when I was using spanking as a tool with one child two years ago, her sense of security from my control , allowed her to work on managing her anxiety which was causing serious depression. Shame on you parents for calling other parents names. Are you raising your children to judge other people too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pro spanking. I was spanked. It made me try harder because I feared upsetting my parents. I was taught respect and I am so thankful that I was spanked. This generation is so screwed.

You suck. I was spanked with a belt, spoon, hand, yardstick and I will never do that to my daughter. I would never accept any affection (hug and kiss at night) from my dad because all he ever did was spank and yell at me. Your kids are screwed not mine.

It’s obvious you don’t know what spanking is. What you described is a beat down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We spanked occasionally, in the old fashioned "come over here and get over my lap" way.

Like someone said above, what it meant was that we ended up doing far less disciplining and punishing that we otherwise would have had to. It meant that we could be a lot more relaxed and have a lot more fun with our kids the other 99.8% of the time.

My youngest might still get a spanking occasionally, but it's very rare now.

I remember my dad telling me to “come over here and bend over my lap for your spanking.” The moment from that until I got to his lap were the most fearful moments of my life. It was terrifying to me. Much like I imagine it would fell to be walking to an execution. That’s how it feels from a child’s perspective.
That’s what I remember—NOT whatever behavior got me spanked.

The quest. Is whether you continued to commit the behavior that resulted in the spanking.

[Anonymous]

^question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can anyone think that purposely inflicting physical pain on a little kid is a good idea? It is barbaric.

I managed to raise four loving, successful and happy sons without ever raising my hand to them.

Striking a child is the laziest form of discipline. Pathetic parenting.

You keep bleating the same thing over and over. Plenty of reasonable and thoughtful people have already addressed this. At this point, your failure to understand is on you.

I have never posted on this thread before, PP. Do you seriously think only one person thinks inflicting pain on your little kids is barbaric and lazy parenting?!