Anyone go from SAHM to retirement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But since she’s presumably working for fun I disagree with you.


It makes sense that those of you who have missed out on your kids only equate income with success, but those of us who invest in relationships and our families can be very open minded in what defines our success to us.

If working as a greeter at Walmart or a barista at Starbucks or the check-in person at the gym or if she’s really lucky and gets a job answering phones somewhere - if that’s fun and success, then be open-minded and debate away. For people who actually have these jobs, I don’t think anyone is calling it “fun”.

It doesn’t have anything to do with income or investing in your family (but nice try). It’s the cluelessness and privilege to think anyone just hops back into the job market after 20 years and funds something “fun”.

Well, I worked at a pizza place and as a greeter at the gym. That one was fun. fast food experience was hell. Ya'll forgot about child care. I think patient people are always needed in that sector. and it's fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first time mom at 43 (!) with one and only DD. I'll be 62 by the time she goes to college. I've had a 20-year career, and am most recently C-level at a large company. I feel like I've achieved the highest point of my career, and I could be doing the same thing for 20 years before retiring. Or start my own company, which would have its own trajectory. Obviously I've wanted DD for a long time, and love spending time with her. When she gets older, I could go back to work PT, or freelance, or volunteer. Has anyone go from SAHM to retirement and any tips?

Haven’t read any other replies. But, are you me?? Except I did it! Couldn’t be happier.

I've been thinking about starting a similar thread. I"m 45, earned a lot of money already, saved most of it and due to two young kids, one with a labor-intensive condition, I'm seriously thinking about "retiring" or staying at home or living off the money I already earned/saved. My problem, fear of loosing my self-definition. I even know what I want to do in the volunteer space. Actually, my DH doesn't want me to which is bothersome because we can live off his income and since we've met, I've earned 1/3 more than him. For example, he earns 200K and our mortgage is less than most apartments.

[Anonymous]

I just read the thread and have to say this. We are all mom. We are all women. Society is against all of us. Can't we be kind to each other. Some of us have choices and some of us don't. We all have our burdens to bare but we also have a choice about the energy we give out. Yes, this is DCUM but I really hate women on women hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first time mom at 43 (!) with one and only DD. I'll be 62 by the time she goes to college. I've had a 20-year career, and am most recently C-level at a large company. I feel like I've achieved the highest point of my career, and I could be doing the same thing for 20 years before retiring. Or start my own company, which would have its own trajectory. Obviously I've wanted DD for a long time, and love spending time with her. When she gets older, I could go back to work PT, or freelance, or volunteer. Has anyone go from SAHM to retirement and any tips?

Haven’t read any other replies. But, are you me?? Except I did it! Couldn’t be happier.

I've been thinking about starting a similar thread. I"m 45, earned a lot of money already, saved most of it and due to two young kids, one with a labor-intensive condition, I'm seriously thinking about "retiring" or staying at home or living off the money I already earned/saved. My problem, fear of loosing my self-definition. I even know what I want to do in the volunteer space. Actually, my DH doesn't want me to which is bothersome because we can live off his income and since we've met, I've earned 1/3 more than him. For example, he earns 200K and our mortgage is less than most apartments.

I think your DH has to be on board for you to be a SAHM. Sounds like you are and were always the higher earner.

How old are your kids?
Could you do a lateral more flexible job?

I’m the 40yo pp. DH likes me staying home because he can focus on his career. He doesn’t have to stress out about picking up the kids on time or whether he will need to call out tomorrow because school might be closed because it is too cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first time mom at 43 (!) with one and only DD. I'll be 62 by the time she goes to college. I've had a 20-year career, and am most recently C-level at a large company. I feel like I've achieved the highest point of my career, and I could be doing the same thing for 20 years before retiring. Or start my own company, which would have its own trajectory. Obviously I've wanted DD for a long time, and love spending time with her. When she gets older, I could go back to work PT, or freelance, or volunteer. Has anyone go from SAHM to retirement and any tips?

Haven’t read any other replies. But, are you me?? Except I did it! Couldn’t be happier.

I've been thinking about starting a similar thread. I"m 45, earned a lot of money already, saved most of it and due to two young kids, one with a labor-intensive condition, I'm seriously thinking about "retiring" or staying at home or living off the money I already earned/saved. My problem, fear of loosing my self-definition. I even know what I want to do in the volunteer space. Actually, my DH doesn't want me to which is bothersome because we can live off his income and since we've met, I've earned 1/3 more than him. For example, he earns 200K and our mortgage is less than most apartments.

How much do you have saved?

Is it enough to support your kids through college? I would say yes if you have a few million saved. If it is under $1m, you need to keep working.

[Anonymous]

I hope to one day!

[Anonymous]

You are a CEO? You will provide ably be bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40YO SAHM of 3. I will be 57 when youngest leaves for college.

When I mention going back to work, DH tells me that I should consider myself retired. I left my finance career and will not be returning.

DH is my retirement package. He earns a seven figure income and we have the funds retire now.

We have a few neighbors who are young and retired. They have young children like us. Maybe they are the pp. they are rich, live in a mansion, have a jet, etc. they say they are retired and they are. The dad doesn’t say he is a stay at home dad. I know a dad who is 45ish and doesn’t work. He also says he is retired.

I never considered being a SAHM a job. Seems strange to say you retired from being a SAHM. I would never say that. I also don’t say that I am retired to other people.

Being a sahm is absolutely a job. What is wrong with you? Mothers will young children cannot walk away from the children. They have to take care of them and that's WORK.

NP. I guess it’s personal perspective. I have NEVER considered being a SAHM a “job” or “work”. Certainly I don’t list it as my occupation.

I think you are one of the few who feels that way.

Maybe because I think of parenting as a personal responsibility. My “job” has always been associated with my professional career. I would never put “sahm” on my resume. Or any form really.

I also don’t consider my DH watching the kids “babysitting”.

And I don’t consider that working parents (my DH included) have a “part-time job” of parenting.

Most forms have stay at home mom or homemaker as an occupation. Why is this so hard to understand? You tell people you're a SAHM because it's a job. I swear some women love to argue about the dumbest things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first time mom at 43 (!) with one and only DD. I'll be 62 by the time she goes to college. I've had a 20-year career, and am most recently C-level at a large company. I feel like I've achieved the highest point of my career, and I could be doing the same thing for 20 years before retiring. Or start my own company, which would have its own trajectory. Obviously I've wanted DD for a long time, and love spending time with her. When she gets older, I could go back to work PT, or freelance, or volunteer. Has anyone go from SAHM to retirement and any tips?

Haven’t read any other replies. But, are you me?? Except I did it! Couldn’t be happier.

I've been thinking about starting a similar thread. I"m 45, earned a lot of money already, saved most of it and due to two young kids, one with a labor-intensive condition, I'm seriously thinking about "retiring" or staying at home or living off the money I already earned/saved. My problem, fear of loosing my self-definition. I even know what I want to do in the volunteer space. Actually, my DH doesn't want me to which is bothersome because we can live off his income and since we've met, I've earned 1/3 more than him. For example, he earns 200K and our mortgage is less than most apartments.

I think your DH has to be on board for you to be a SAHM. Sounds like you are and were always the higher earner.

How old are your kids?
Could you do a lateral more flexible job?

I’m the 40yo pp. DH likes me staying home because he can focus on his career. He doesn’t have to stress out about picking up the kids on time or whether he will need to call out tomorrow because school might be closed because it is too cold.

Read this carefully. Many men want their wife to stay home simply so their own life is easier. Having a SAHM benefits the man more than the woman. He’s out there with his own identity and contributing to retirement accounts that are in his name only. His career options and salary continue to grow. You’re stuck at home and your identity is working for your spouse and children as a cook, nanny, maid, party planner, etc. He’s in the outside world and you’re trapped behind the scenes. Oh wait volunteer work....more unpaid labor that benefits men.

If you’re an ambitious woman who likes to stay busy you most likely won’t enjoy staying home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40YO SAHM of 3. I will be 57 when youngest leaves for college.

When I mention going back to work, DH tells me that I should consider myself retired. I left my finance career and will not be returning.

DH is my retirement package. He earns a seven figure income and we have the funds retire now.

We have a few neighbors who are young and retired. They have young children like us. Maybe they are the pp. they are rich, live in a mansion, have a jet, etc. they say they are retired and they are. The dad doesn’t say he is a stay at home dad. I know a dad who is 45ish and doesn’t work. He also says he is retired.

I never considered being a SAHM a job. Seems strange to say you retired from being a SAHM. I would never say that. I also don’t say that I am retired to other people.

Being a sahm is absolutely a job. What is wrong with you? Mothers will young children cannot walk away from the children. They have to take care of them and that's WORK.

NP. I guess it’s personal perspective. I have NEVER considered being a SAHM a “job” or “work”. Certainly I don’t list it as my occupation.

I think you are one of the few who feels that way.

Maybe because I think of parenting as a personal responsibility. My “job” has always been associated with my professional career. I would never put “sahm” on my resume. Or any form really.

I also don’t consider my DH watching the kids “babysitting”.

And I don’t consider that working parents (my DH included) have a “part-time job” of parenting.

Most forms have stay at home mom or homemaker as an occupation. Why is this so hard to understand? You tell people you're a SAHM because it's a job. I swear some women love to argue about the dumbest things.

+1

Young children cannot take care of themselves all day. It's a job. Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a first time mom at 43 (!) with one and only DD. I'll be 62 by the time she goes to college. I've had a 20-year career, and am most recently C-level at a large company. I feel like I've achieved the highest point of my career, and I could be doing the same thing for 20 years before retiring. Or start my own company, which would have its own trajectory. Obviously I've wanted DD for a long time, and love spending time with her. When she gets older, I could go back to work PT, or freelance, or volunteer. Has anyone go from SAHM to retirement and any tips?

Haven’t read any other replies. But, are you me?? Except I did it! Couldn’t be happier.

I've been thinking about starting a similar thread. I"m 45, earned a lot of money already, saved most of it and due to two young kids, one with a labor-intensive condition, I'm seriously thinking about "retiring" or staying at home or living off the money I already earned/saved. My problem, fear of loosing my self-definition. I even know what I want to do in the volunteer space. Actually, my DH doesn't want me to which is bothersome because we can live off his income and since we've met, I've earned 1/3 more than him. For example, he earns 200K and our mortgage is less than most apartments.

I think your DH has to be on board for you to be a SAHM. Sounds like you are and were always the higher earner.

How old are your kids?
Could you do a lateral more flexible job?

I’m the 40yo pp. DH likes me staying home because he can focus on his career. He doesn’t have to stress out about picking up the kids on time or whether he will need to call out tomorrow because school might be closed because it is too cold.

Read this carefully. Many men want their wife to stay home simply so their own life is easier. Having a SAHM benefits the man more than the woman. He’s out there with his own identity and contributing to retirement accounts that are in his name only. His career options and salary continue to grow. You’re stuck at home and your identity is working for your spouse and children as a cook, nanny, maid, party planner, etc. He’s in the outside world and you’re trapped behind the scenes. Oh wait volunteer work....more unpaid labor that benefits men.

If you’re an ambitious woman who likes to stay busy you most likely won’t enjoy staying home.


Wow. Look someone is admitting that sahm WORKS. Imagine that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread and have to say this. We are all mom. We are all women. Society is against all of us. Can't we be kind to each other. Some of us have choices and some of us don't. We all have our burdens to bare but we also have a choice about the energy we give out. Yes, this is DCUM but I really hate women on women hate.

the sad part at the root of the sahm vs wohm arguing is that we still don't value the work that was historically mainly done by women (raising kids, household upkeep, caring for elderly, volunteering in schools or community) the same way that we would value those same hours of duty performed in traditional male working roles. there's an expectation that this work will be cheap, if not free because in the past women had no choice but to perform it and were generally undervalued for doing so. so women are trained to look down upon it just as many men have, historically.

whoever does this work today, be it moms, dads, sons, nieces, daycare worker, neighbor... should get the same respect and appreciation that the average working 'man' gets-work is work. But it appears that's a long way from being the case, still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread and have to say this. We are all mom. We are all women. Society is against all of us. Can't we be kind to each other. Some of us have choices and some of us don't. We all have our burdens to bare but we also have a choice about the energy we give out. Yes, this is DCUM but I really hate women on women hate.

the sad part at the root of the sahm vs wohm arguing is that we still don't value the work that was historically mainly done by women (raising kids, household upkeep, caring for elderly, volunteering in schools or community) the same way that we would value those same hours of duty performed in traditional male working roles. there's an expectation that this work will be cheap, if not free because in the past women had no choice but to perform it and were generally undervalued for doing so. so women are trained to look down upon it just as many men have, historically.

whoever does this work today, be it moms, dads, sons, nieces, daycare worker, neighbor... should get the same respect and appreciation that the average working 'man' gets-work is work. But it appears that's a long way from being the case, still.

TRUTH!

[Anonymous]

I think PP is correct would be better in 50 or over. OP I had my kids at 41, 43. Now 64. First retired from working 20+ years, then another 19 STAHM. I’m not going back to work unless I absolutely have to. Retired and living it !

[Anonymous]

^^ loving it. NEVER get bored.