Husband wants to take a huge paycut to join a startup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

It's that combo and then acting as if you have a tough situation. Which she did in her OP. If she had been less emotional and more focused on budgets and cash flow there would be less ire. But portraying her millions and dropping to $100k salary as hardship? Yeah tiniest violin is tuning up.

Ridiculous statement. You didn't read the OP. She is afraid that they will overspend. It's not about how to live of 100k and savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

Man, your "freak out" threshold is low, I just viewed it as a reasonable question.

She is sitting on close to 3 mil investments, DH will make 100K+bonus, no mortgage, 3 small kids and she is talking about waitressing at night to make ends meet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

maybe it is the same OP

After thinking about it it does seem like a troll OP. The percentage of people with young children who have a paid off mortgage and millions in cash while parenting three young kids is tiny. I don't believe her.

Nah the OP in the other thread has a job. This OP hasn't worked in 8 (?) years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

Man, your "freak out" threshold is low, I just viewed it as a reasonable question.

She is sitting on close to 3 mil investments, DH will make 100K+bonus, no mortgage, 3 small kids and she is talking about waitressing at night to make ends meet?

+1

[Anonymous]

By definition trolls lie. It’s yet another way to make SAHM seem financially incompetant and to provide a platformm for bashing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

maybe it is the same OP

After thinking about it it does seem like a troll OP. The percentage of people with young children who have a paid off mortgage and millions in cash while parenting three young kids is tiny. I don't believe her.

Troll or no troll, the question is legit. A number of people I know work because of those fears and will, most likely, die at work (unless they get kicked out) leaving millions behind them.

[Anonymous]

He should do it! You have more than enough cash to live on VERY COMFORTABLY for a few years without eating into retirement investments. seriously, 1.2 million is plenty of cash. and you will still have 100k in income to cover expenses. come on. I don't know what your fixed expenses look like, obviously, but i doubt you're taking a big risk.

You can and should insist on cutting back on spending, though. I would think of that as *being* supportive. It's giving him more rope in case the start up takes longer than expected.

I don't know about the basement thing. if it is purely a luxury spend for a fun renovation, put it off a few years, sure. that 50 k could come in handy. if you want a finished basement for regularly visiting family to have a place to stay or for renting out or for hosting events for his new startup, well, that's another matter and might be worthwhile.

If you don't want to go back to work, don't. if things don't pan out for the startup, one of you may have to go back to work later. is there any reason to think your DH couldn't get another good job in 3-5 years after getting some additional experience in a startup? There are some fields where that has been known to increase your cache, even if the startup doesn't pan out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

maybe it is the same OP

After thinking about it it does seem like a troll OP. The percentage of people with young children who have a paid off mortgage and millions in cash while parenting three young kids is tiny. I don't believe her.

Troll or no troll, the question is legit. A number of people I know work because of those fears and will, most likely, die at work (unless they get kicked out) leaving millions behind them.

+ 1

I actually beleive it more now that she mentions the sexual harassment and bridge burning story. If she can't ask that dude for a reference (and I don't blame her for not wanting to eat crow before her harasser), really what are the odds of her being able to get a good job? And I can even understand why she wouldn't do that when her husband makes more than half a million a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

maybe it is the same OP

After thinking about it it does seem like a troll OP. The percentage of people with young children who have a paid off mortgage and millions in cash while parenting three young kids is tiny. I don't believe her.

Troll or no troll, the question is legit. A number of people I know work because of those fears and will, most likely, die at work (unless they get kicked out) leaving millions behind them.

+ 1

I actually beleive it more now that she mentions the sexual harassment and bridge burning story. If she can't ask that dude for a reference (and I don't blame her for not wanting to eat crow before her harasser), really what are the odds of her being able to get a good job? And I can even understand why she wouldn't do that when her husband makes more than half a million a year.

Taking this story and her other fears at face value, she sounds very highly strung and not altogether rational. She needs therapy more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He'd go from over 600k to 100k plus a 10% equity stake or more. Obviously the equity is the thing he's after and it's not something he can negotiate where he's at currently. He's tired of building value for other people without seriously participating in it. I do understand that. However, I'm a SAHM and we have three little kids (4-9). I'm kind of freaked out. We live below our means and save a lot. We're sitting on 1.2M in cash right now. We have another 1.5M in investments. Unbeknownst to me, this is why we have so much cash. He's been planning to spend down our savings while he tries this out. He says it'll take 3 years to know if it works or not. If it doesn't, he'll look for a better paying job. I don't feel right spending down our savings, however, so if he does this, I think we should live very simply in the meantime. No eating out, no vacations, no purchases except for the strictly necessary for the kids like shoes etc. etc. I have a strong suspicion that he'll have a much harder time with this than me. He's used to just buying and spending whatever.

Am I allowed to tell him that if he does this, he needs to drastically cut his spending? Am I allowed to voice concerns re: money? I have to stand by and let him try this right? The worst thing would be if I said no and then he has to watch their company take off.

I'm thinking about going back to work but there are some problems with that. 1. for various reasons that I can't go into on here, I can't go back to my old field (burned my bridges big time). Fwiw, it was my husband's idea that I SAHM and he's always said he doesn't think I should go back to work back when it would have been easier to do so. 2. I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else except the most basic office work. I haven't worked in 8 years. Maybe I could get a waitressing job at night or something for the spending money? 3.) our youngest won't be in full time school for another 2 years.

ugh. I have such a bad feeling about this. What would you do? Just sit back and watch?

If I had $2.7 million on hand, I think I'd be okay with taking a large pay cut for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

Man, your "freak out" threshold is low, I just viewed it as a reasonable question.

She is sitting on close to 3 mil investments, DH will make 100K+bonus, no mortgage, 3 small kids and she is talking about waitressing at night to make ends meet?

+1

In her OP she was talking cutting expenses to essentials, like her kids shoes were the line she drew.

Waitressing at night? That is a total freak out post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

Man, your "freak out" threshold is low, I just viewed it as a reasonable question.

She is sitting on close to 3 mil investments, DH will make 100K+bonus, no mortgage, 3 small kids and she is talking about waitressing at night to make ends meet?

+1

well she clearly has no clue about the family finances. Her husband squirreled away 1.2 million under her nose.

OP--most people will RETIRE for good at that level of savings. Wait----actually most people will never see that level of savings in their lifetime. Only the top 5%. If that.
You will be okay.
To bring waitressing into it is to insult waitresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two triggers: wealth and SAHM. The combo is insanely triggering to some.

+1
I am seeing threads with this theme-DH makes half a mil, the woman makes next to nothing, millions in savings, and the woman freaking out about scraping by. See the other one about a SAHM asking for life insurance when she already has 4-5 mil payout if DH dies.
Maybe it is the same troll starting these to taunt the WOHM who work for a paycheck and the not-so wealthy SAHM.

maybe it is the same OP

After thinking about it it does seem like a troll OP. The percentage of people with young children who have a paid off mortgage and millions in cash while parenting three young kids is tiny. I don't believe her.

Troll or no troll, the question is legit. A number of people I know work because of those fears and will, most likely, die at work (unless they get kicked out) leaving millions behind them.

+ 1

I actually beleive it more now that she mentions the sexual harassment and bridge burning story. If she can't ask that dude for a reference (and I don't blame her for not wanting to eat crow before her harasser), really what are the odds of her being able to get a good job? And I can even understand why she wouldn't do that when her husband makes more than half a million a year.

Taking this story and her other fears at face value, she sounds very highly strung and not altogether rational. She needs therapy more than anything else.

Yes I agree, she seems almost like extreme mood swings. Maybe PTSD from last job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He'd go from over 600k to 100k plus a 10% equity stake or more. Obviously the equity is the thing he's after and it's not something he can negotiate where he's at currently. He's tired of building value for other people without seriously participating in it. I do understand that. However, I'm a SAHM and we have three little kids (4-9). I'm kind of freaked out. We live below our means and save a lot. We're sitting on 1.2M in cash right now. We have another 1.5M in investments. Unbeknownst to me, this is why we have so much cash. He's been planning to spend down our savings while he tries this out. He says it'll take 3 years to know if it works or not. If it doesn't, he'll look for a better paying job. I don't feel right spending down our savings, however, so if he does this, I think we should live very simply in the meantime. No eating out, no vacations, no purchases except for the strictly necessary for the kids like shoes etc. etc. I have a strong suspicion that he'll have a much harder time with this than me. He's used to just buying and spending whatever.

Am I allowed to tell him that if he does this, he needs to drastically cut his spending? Am I allowed to voice concerns re: money? I have to stand by and let him try this right? The worst thing would be if I said no and then he has to watch their company take off.

I'm thinking about going back to work but there are some problems with that. 1. for various reasons that I can't go into on here, I can't go back to my old field (burned my bridges big time). Fwiw, it was my husband's idea that I SAHM and he's always said he doesn't think I should go back to work back when it would have been easier to do so. 2. I don't think I'm qualified to do anything else except the most basic office work. I haven't worked in 8 years. Maybe I could get a waitressing job at night or something for the spending money? 3.) our youngest won't be in full time school for another 2 years.

ugh. I have such a bad feeling about this. What would you do? Just sit back and watch?

If I had $2.7 million on hand, I think I'd be okay with taking a large pay cut for a few years.

If I had 2.7 million I'd retire for good.

[Anonymous]

Secret accounts, secret career plans, not many steps to secret family...