Would it bother you if your child's teacher said this?

[Anonymous]

...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp, flashing = showing.

Children ARE immodest, unless someone teaches them otherwise.

No. Both complaining about a lack of modesty and "flashing" underwear are sexual ways of talking about nonsexual behavior. This guy is sexualizing little girls out of one side of his mouth and moaning that parents are worried he'll sexualize little girls out of the other side. And the crazy thing is that the original post was about second graders -- still too young for these worries, but getting closer to an age where the conversation needs to happen. This guy lowered the age of the immodest girls down to preschool and even bragged that his kid has been in an extra layer of undershorts since she was *two* while acting like anyone who doesn't see toddlers' underwear as inherently sexual is naive. This guy is a nut and the fact that he thinks he's the persecuted one is completely laughable.

When I read that he had his daughter wear something under her dress since she was 2, I read that as just starting that early to establish it as a habit - so there wouldn't be battles later. I'm not sure why you jumped to sexualizing a 2 year old. But that's just me.

He called preschoolers immodest, inappropriately dressed for not having on a third layer of clothes, and said they were flashing him their underwear. I'm not making a jump, I'm reading what is written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm actually related to a couple of male teachers. They're not clutching their pearls about a four year old in tights. Because they're not perverts.

This will have no bearing on whether or not they will be accused of inappropriate behavior in the future. If you think this will be a valid defense god forbid something bad happens, you are sorely mistaken.

The second-grade teacher told girls who wear dresses -- including girls who wear dresses with pants underneath -- that they have to sit in chairs "like ladies", to protect himself from something bad happening. You don't say.

I would have the same reaction if the teacher were a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

Hi troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

What would you prefer he say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

What would you prefer he say?

"I'm resigning, as due to my gender, I'm biologically incapable of working with children."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

What would you prefer he say?

All of the stuff that he said immediately above is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...back in non-crazy land (male preschool teacher again), the good news is that my parents get comfortable with me quickly once they realize that, yes, men can be nurturing, caring creatures around young kids, and that their kids love to come to school. But my guard is always up at some level, because it has to be. Female teachers can have kids sit in their laps all day long; I never allow it. I rarely offer hugs to kids spontaneously, although I always accept them; the female teachers are far more likely to just go and hug kids because they want to. Our school doesn't have an on paper rule against going into the girls' bathroom if male, but it's a de-facto one that female teachers are allowed in both gender bathrooms while males are relegated to the male bathroom (as if our background checks only searched for male child abuse). It goes on and on; like any other minority, you walk in two worlds and learn to navigate both so the majority (i.e., the female teachers and parents) don't feel threatened.

I love my job despite the nonsense. And a good male preschool teacher is a far better one than a good female preschool teacher because he'll have worked a hell of a lot harder to get there and stay there (much like a good female engineer vs a good male one).

And I'm all in favor of male pre-school teachers, and male elementary school teachers, and male [any stereotypically female/caring profession]. Really, I am. But you don't do yourself any favors when you talk about "modesty" for two-year-old girls who are "flashing" their underwear.

What would you prefer he say?

All of the stuff that he said immediately above is just fine.

So it's okay for male teachers to face rampant discrimination and double standards, but it's not okay for them say girls should wear shorts under dresses to not show underwear. Got it.

Yeah, you're definitely a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My second graders teacher (male) told all the girls that if they wanted to sit on the floor during circle time, they could only do that if they weren't wearing a dress. If they had on a dress, they had to sit on a chair. He said something about "sitting like a lady" They had to sit on a chair even if they had on leggings under the dress. My daughter doesn't like dresses anyway so she isn't fazed but I didn't like this kind of policing (?) what do you guys think? Her friend refuses to wear dresses anymore.

Yes, this would bother me. It's fine to say that you can't sit on the floor if your underwear shows. It's not fine to say that girls whose underwear is not showing because they are wearing leggings under their dress have to "sit like ladies." Teach the kids to sit so their underwear doesn't show (sit back on their heels, sit with both legs to the same side) or to wear leggings or shorts underneath dresses, fine.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a male teacher and he was (without a doubt) one of the best teachers she's had so far (shout out Mr Williams!). I could never see him saying something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had a male teacher and he was (without a doubt) one of the best teachers she's had so far (shout out Mr Williams!). I could never see him saying something like this.

Is it all right for a male teacher to be a medium-to-good teacher, instead of having to be one of the best teachers she's had?

[Anonymous]

I'm a grown woman who doesn't wear pants under my dresses, and I've learned how to sit on the floor without showing my underwear. It is possible. "Flowy" skirts go in between your legs, and you sit "sidesaddle" in straight skirts.

So, I would be perfectly fine with a rule that said: you can sit on the floor as long as your underwear isn't showing. Period. No rules about what they can or can't wear.

But I would have thought the better course of action was for the teacher to take this problem to his supervisor and ask for some advice about how to address it, which would also have given him a chance to express his reasoning for seeing it as a problem. Maybe then that supervisor could have helped him come up with a policy that addressed his concerns without being so sexist. Because it is.

[Anonymous]

who cares? Stop policing teachers. He thinks what he thinks; children need to learn to adapt.