Protecting money you gift adult kids for a house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gift letter. My parents gifted to me solely the down payment of our house. When I got divorced, I was able to keep that

Your spouse letting you keep it is different than you getting to keep it if contested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slightly different perspective here: my DH comes from a wealthy family, had significant personal assets from his own earnings, knew I had no assets and student loan debt, and did not ask me for a prenup. His parents have given him over $400K during our marriage for various significant expenses (down payment, new cars), and we have no prenup. I also got a reasonably valuable engagement family engagement ring and some other family jewelry (his family).

Not expecting to get divorced (although only married 3 yrs, together 8), but if we did divorce, I would not try to claim any of the assets DH brought into the marriage or gifts from his parents given to us during the marriage or the jewelry, because it would not be ethically right to claim them. We have children, but I make a good income (although much less than my DH), I didn't marry him for his money, and I can support myself and our kids. Granted, I couldn't afford to have us live like we do now, but we would be fine.

I don't understand people trying to get money that isn't meant for them when they get divorced.

You say that now, but if he's banging his assistant and left you in a house you cannot afford to maintain and kids you need to care for by yourself, you might be singing a different tune.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

Different strokes.

I would advice my children to never marry anyone with a pre nup(unless there are step children involved, and the prenup is to provide for them). I don't care how much money is involved. Let them find others who don't need one.

What's next? Would you marry someone with epilepsy and sign a prenup regarding life expectancy and care? After all, they came into the marriage with a disease and potential liability.

you've got it backwards. a good prenup protects the poorer partner in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

Different strokes.

I would advice my children to never marry anyone with a pre nup(unless there are step children involved, and the prenup is to provide for them). I don't care how much money is involved. Let them find others who don't need one.

What's next? Would you marry someone with epilepsy and sign a prenup regarding life expectancy and care? After all, they came into the marriage with a disease and potential liability.

Exactly. I hate disabled people. This is TOTALLY the same thing.

Dear lord I'm glad some of you haven't been entrusted with significant wealth. You are way too dumb to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

Different strokes.

I would advice my children to never marry anyone with a pre nup(unless there are step children involved, and the prenup is to provide for them). I don't care how much money is involved. Let them find others who don't need one.

What's next? Would you marry someone with epilepsy and sign a prenup regarding life expectancy and care? After all, they came into the marriage with a disease and potential liability.

Exactly. I hate disabled people. This is TOTALLY the same thing.

Dear lord I'm glad some of you haven't been entrusted with significant wealth. You are way too dumb to handle it.

Yep, some of us are too dumb to handle your significant wealth. It's best to marry your similarly "entrusted" peers.

Money is always a different thing when you are trying to shield it from your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

Different strokes.

I would advice my children to never marry anyone with a pre nup(unless there are step children involved, and the prenup is to provide for them). I don't care how much money is involved. Let them find others who don't need one.

What's next? Would you marry someone with epilepsy and sign a prenup regarding life expectancy and care? After all, they came into the marriage with a disease and potential liability.

Exactly. I hate disabled people. This is TOTALLY the same thing.

Dear lord I'm glad some of you haven't been entrusted with significant wealth. You are way too dumb to handle it.

Just like most of us were to dumb to understand Trump's tax returns, so he saved us the trouble. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's why people comparing 6 figure inheritances are not comparing apples to apples when talking about a large (8 digit millions) trust.

They are very different things.

Different strokes.

I would advice my children to never marry anyone with a pre nup(unless there are step children involved, and the prenup is to provide for them). I don't care how much money is involved. Let them find others who don't need one.

What's next? Would you marry someone with epilepsy and sign a prenup regarding life expectancy and care? After all, they came into the marriage with a disease and potential liability.

Exactly. I hate disabled people. This is TOTALLY the same thing.

Dear lord I'm glad some of you haven't been entrusted with significant wealth. You are way too dumb to handle it.

Yep, some of us are too dumb to handle your significant wealth. It's best to marry your similarly "entrusted" peers.

Money is always a different thing when you are trying to shield it from your spouse.

If you are willing to take a 50% shot at losing significant wealth you are just more willing to take risks than most people. Again, it's easy to make decisions about money you don't have.

[Anonymous]

If you are willing to take a 50% shot at losing significant wealth you are just more willing to take risks than most people. Again, it's easy to make decisions about money you don't have.

People without significant wealth take enormous risk getting married as well(and no, it is not a 50% risk of divorce for most on DCUM).

While these people's vulnerabilities/risks cannot be easily assigned a dollar amount, it means no less to them than the millions of dollars mean to the wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone mentioned this - - - I would be more concerned they would make a real dumb real estate decision.
That would give me reason to want to be more involved - with the money coming from me - but I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you are willing to take a 50% shot at losing significant wealth you are just more willing to take risks than most people. Again, it's easy to make decisions about money you don't have.

People without significant wealth take enormous risk getting married as well(and no, it is not a 50% risk of divorce for most on DCUM).

While these people's vulnerabilities/risks cannot be easily assigned a dollar amount, it means no less to them than the millions of dollars mean to the wealthy.

okay, so we agree that risk is involved. Intelligent people mitigate risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are willing to take a 50% shot at losing significant wealth you are just more willing to take risks than most people. Again, it's easy to make decisions about money you don't have.

People without significant wealth take enormous risk getting married as well(and no, it is not a 50% risk of divorce for most on DCUM).

While these people's vulnerabilities/risks cannot be easily assigned a dollar amount, it means no less to them than the millions of dollars mean to the wealthy.

okay, so we agree that risk is involved. Intelligent people mitigate risk.

Good for them.

But it is much easier for those with already monetarily valued risks to mitigate theirs. The rest of us are usually hung out to dry. Additionally, it is considered "cruel" when we try to monetize ours(see response to the epilepsy liability analogy above). I wonder how many of these wealthy pro-prenup persons consider that their potential spouses have some very intangible risks that can be comparable to theirs.

[Anonymous]

Right. I don't want to be "hung out to dry" so I protect myself. Why is that unfathomable to people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right. I don't want to be "hung out to dry" so I protect myself. Why is that unfathomable to people?

It's not unfathomable to me and many others on here. We just don't roll like that. Because we are not interested in sitting down and putting a dollar value to what we bring to the table before we get married.

And if we don't do that, it is impossible to feel like we get a fair deal when if we marry someone with money and a ready to go prenup.

So we'll advice our kids accordingly.

[Anonymous]

I will advice my kids to realize what "fair" actually means. "Fair" is not a spouse splitting on you and losing millions of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will advice my kids to realize what "fair" actually means. "Fair" is not a spouse splitting on you and losing millions of dollars.

Fair enough.