Protecting money you gift adult kids for a house

[Anonymous]

By sharing inheritances and all money, you are both on equal financial footing. I don't like an imbalance of power.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is unusually controlling and sadly this example probably means she's that way for many other aspects of her life. Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.

Both my sons walked away without a home or money. The bitches got it all. Thank God we waited to give them money. Poetic justice though. Both women ended up losing their homes and living in poverty. One is giving up sex for rent. The other remarried a drunk. Hopefully they won't make the same mistakes twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

That's okay. I'm protected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

NP here; the "issue" for you is the lack of trust you have in your husband and marriage. PP nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Yeah, that would really hold up in court ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

That's okay. I'm protected.

LOL. I'd take the lifelong marriage over your protection any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

I don't understand why you'd get married if you weren't willing to fully blend finances. I mean, I do--because you don't fully trust your partner and are looking out for #1 underneath it all--but I don't understand it in the sense that I wouldn't get married if I saw the world that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.

I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.

I think that it's easy to say what you'd do when it isn't an issue for you.

NP here; the "issue" for you is the lack of trust you have in your husband and marriage. PP nailed it.

Okay. You guys know me! I'm busted!

Get back to me when you can talk about your trust funds and what trustees mandate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.

We share everything. Why would I keep my inheritance separate?
Never occurred to me.
My DH shares his six figure bonus every year. Should I not share my six figure inheritance?

No, you shouldn't. His stupid decision is his own.

PP's DH's bonus is marital property, whereas PP's inheritance is not marital property unless she chooses to comingle it with marital property.

Presumably PP's parent(s) left the six figure dollar amount to PP and not to PP and her DH.

I would specify in the prenup that income/ bonuses belong to the person who earns them.

Your marriage won't last.

That's okay. I'm protected.

LOL. I'd take the lifelong marriage over your protection any day.

Right? Like money makes up for a broken home. I can't imagine being so blasé about my marriage working.