Protecting money you gift adult kids for a house

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I thought assets brought to the marriage remain separate? If so, I would think the key is to gift your child the down payment money prior to the wedding. Then after the wedding, they buy the house with it. This way in the event of divorce, the child would still get their initial down payment back before any other proceeds are split.


I think once pre-marital assets are comingled (i.e. buying a house with spouse) they are considered marital assets. The only way to achieve what you described would be having the potential dil/sil sign a pre-nup.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your friend wants to control the uncontrollable and unknowable.

Asking a potential DIL or SIL to sign a pre-nup would send any self respecting person running for the hills.

Asking a child's intended family by marriage to pony up money for a house, even if you're matching the amount is crass.


Well, legally speaking, it's not uncontrollable.


Unless you bought a house outright, it would be difficult to gift a large sum of money with the requisite that it go for a down payment on a house.

Parents of an intended bride or groom to spelling out these stipulations in a pre-nup would be beyond weird. They would have to convince their adult child to sign it as well as the intended spouse since it's an agreement between individuals. It would not obligate the other family to do anything monetarily in any way either.

I think OP's friend would have been better off in feudal times, trading a fat goat and a sack of barley.
Anonymous
You can't protect it from the gift tax.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You can't protect it from the gift tax.

Dumb answer
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.


Is an inheritance a different type of legal tender? Nonsense. Why would it be different?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No way I would allow my spouses parents to be on my house title.


I agree. Nor my parents.

But neither of our parents offered us money anyway.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had friends over this weekend. We were discussing how expensive housing was becoming in our city. Friend's husband said he can't imagine how our teen kids would be able to buy a home without parental help.
My friend said she is willing to help their kid with a down payment if the hypothetical future spouse signs a prenup or the house is in the parent's name or if the grooms family gifts them the same amount. I thought this was a horrible idea. She was worried money would be lost if they divorce. Seems tit for tat. As if she can demand money from his parents to equalize it.

I think when you give money like that, there is a risk. I would only gift what I am okay with losing if they divorce. When I gift it, it's not mine anymore anyway.

DH and I share everything, including inheritances. They do separate finances.

Not interested in discussing the legal aspects.


Dumb move bro.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.


Is an inheritance a different type of legal tender? Nonsense. Why would it be different?


Yes. It's a premarital asset. He wouldn't be entitled to money that I brought into the relationship and did not commingle. It's not an inheritance, but an irrevocable trust. In short- yes- inheritance is very different legally.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.


Is an inheritance a different type of legal tender? Nonsense. Why would it be different?


Yes. It's a premarital asset. He wouldn't be entitled to money that I brought into the relationship and did not commingle. It's not an inheritance, but an irrevocable trust. In short- yes- inheritance is very different legally.


It's still incoming money I share. It's still green and we share.
Anonymous

I also shared my inheritance. After 34 years of marriage, I'm pretty sure this is the real deal. We also share a child who will eventually get the money anyway. And we don't really need the money. So that's how we roll.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
I also shared my inheritance. After 34 years of marriage, I'm pretty sure this is the real deal. We also share a child who will eventually get the money anyway. And we don't really need the money. So that's how we roll.

I agree.
If I wasn't confident in my marriage maybe it would be different.
Anonymous
My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.


Is an inheritance a different type of legal tender? Nonsense. Why would it be different?


Yes. It's a premarital asset. He wouldn't be entitled to money that I brought into the relationship and did not commingle. It's not an inheritance, but an irrevocable trust. In short- yes- inheritance is very different legally.


It's still incoming money I share. It's still green and we share.


It's not incoming if you possessed it before marriage.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand sharing inheritances. At all. My trust required a pre nup.

However, we also get annually gifted by my parents as part of their estate planning- $28k to both my husband and I every year. That money is absolutely shared- legally my parents gifted it to him . I like the arrangement.


Is an inheritance a different type of legal tender? Nonsense. Why would it be different?


Yes. It's a premarital asset. He wouldn't be entitled to money that I brought into the relationship and did not commingle. It's not an inheritance, but an irrevocable trust. In short- yes- inheritance is very different legally.


It's still incoming money I share. It's still green and we share.


It's not incoming if you possessed it before marriage.

I received my inheritance after we married. Sorry, if I wasn't clear.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My trust is very large. I have a ton of confidence in my marriage of 12 years and three kids. I don't believe he would ever leave- BUT if, say, he cheated you think he gets 1/2 of the money I have in a trust?

Nope. It's not about having a good marriage or not- it's common sense.


I get that but you do have to admit that you don't fully trust him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't say that.
I totally understand, you want insurance.
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