S/O Share your relatives without boundaries stories.

[Anonymous]

Family gathering with 20 people in a house with 2.5 bathrooms. I must have take a little too long because my in laws started knocking on the door, laughing, and telling everyone I was having "potty issues."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This book is a truly sick version of an overly attached mother. Am I wrong?
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/love-you-forever/id590247941?mt=11

OMG I totally agree! I mean, it's cute at first and I see the point but... if my MIL came INTO my house with a ladder in the middle of the night and got in bed with my husband?! Why is this a children's story?! And why is it so successful!?

I always found that book creepy. However, a lot of mothers do feel that way about their babies and young kids. The creepy thing is that a certain percentage can't and won't let go.

About the PP whose MIL tried to force her into a coat? My MIL does that kind of stuff too. She's constantly grabbing things out of your hands, tossing her things on top of yours to make you pay attention, jumping in between my husband and me when we're close to each other, etc. I don't think she has boundaries of any kind, on any level. Really disturbing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My FIL came to my house while we were out of town and painted our master bedroom a hideous color.

You win.

I have a crazy in-law house story, too!

So, DH and I bought our very first house. All financed by us, no help from parents/in-laws, etc. So we're excited, you know? First house and all. But - a week after we close, we are going on an international vacation. No big deal - we hire someone to come paint, etc, but don't actually plan to move in until after we're back in the states. However, in-laws are OBSESSED with the house. Like, they drove by it multiple times prior to our closing, even though we asked them to be cool. We assured them that they would have plenty of time to see the house, after we moved in. Unless they wanted to help move - in which case, here's the date, and we'll see you bright and early!

Anyway, we made the mistake of leaving our keys with the in-laws. Since we would be out of the country, we figured it would be helpful to have someone on this side of the ocean with keys in case the painters locked themselves out or burned the house down or something. Figuring that the in-laws would be normal people and, you know, wait until we were at least present before barging into our new home. Oh, but no... While I'm in Europe, I see a facebook post from one of the in-laws, and the setting looks familiar? And then I realize that the whole family (MIL, Grand-MIL, aunts, uncles) are in my newly painted office. That I haven't even seen in person yet. And they didn't even tell us directly - it was just a facebook post on one of their walls - neither DH nor I were tagged or anything.

A few months after we moved in, MIL and FIL are visiting for Christmas. MIL has the audacity to make a huge fuss about wanting a tour of the new house! I said, "Well, you saw it already, so..." and made DH handle that.

Fully admit that I'm still mad about it. And will absolutely never give my in-laws a set of spare keys ever again.

Who cares about this? The big boundary issue is that they looked at your house. Um, ok.

+1

I don't get what the big deal was. None of your stuff was in the house. It was just a big empty house? Who cares. They were excited for you. This is totally something my mom would do and I wouldn't care.

What is wrong with you, two PPs? You never, EVER enter someone's home without their knowledge and explicit consent, unless it is a true emergency. (And keys were only given for an EMERGENCY.) You also don't ever, EVER invite people to someone else's house!

WTF is wrong with you? So glad you aren't related to me.

If I was living there, I'd be upset with them too. But with an empty house, it wouldn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL physically tried to put a coat on me.

I'm going to need the full story!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
About the PP whose MIL tried to force her into a coat? My MIL does that kind of stuff too. She's constantly grabbing things out of your hands, tossing her things on top of yours to make you pay attention, jumping in between my husband and me when we're close to each other, etc. I don't think she has boundaries of any kind, on any level. Really disturbing.

I posted this one. This was shortly after I married. I think she thought we would have a mother-daughter relationship, and putting a coat on a 30 yo woman after I said i didnt need one is her idea of taking care of me. She actually has gotten better about this type of thing.

[Anonymous]

DD was a premie and had some early health issues-- and a 2 year old brother who moved non-stop, all of which is to say I was very protective &worried about her, incredibly sleep deprived, and had PPD. My mother lived about a half hour away, and was on the emergency pickup list at her daycare. The week after I returned to work (so DD was about 16 weeks) my mother took advantage of that to CHECK MY BABY OUT OF DAYCARE for most of the day. Did she call and ask if DD could spend the day with Nana? Maybe drop me a quick text? Nope. I went to pick DCs up, and they told me that Larla had so enjoyed he day out with her grandmother, and had just gotten back. WTF? Ummm Mom? "You ask me not to call you at work..." So for most of the day my infant was not where I thought she was. And if I had needed to pick her up early, she would have been missing. Ugghh.

[Anonymous]

Shortly after DD was born my MIL had a discussion with me about controlling my "urges" and "desires" because even though I was breastfeeding I could still get pregnant.
MIL told my husband that once DD had a passport (living out of country at the time) I was going to leave him and runaway with the baby.
While breastfeeding she tried to take DD off my breast (latched onto nipple) because "DD's had enough."
I don't talk to MIL anymore.

[Anonymous]

DH made the mistake of telling FIL one of the names we were considering for DS and FIL announced it to everyone in the extended family in an email. Not the name we went with.

Widowed FIL married about a year before DH and I did. One of his wife's kids is a lesbian. When she and her partner were expecting their first child, FIL put the news in his Christmas letter, saying "They had Larla artificially inseminated".

[Anonymous]

One of the first times I met my FIL he brought up toilet paper and wiping. He desperately needed to know if I fold TP to wipe, or crumple it up, and how much do I use? Do I flush the poop first, or after wiping? DH kept trying to get him to stop, I kept pretending I didn't hear him correctly. He still brings up the topic randomly sometimes, but I can laught about it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

My father had a stroke this past summer. Let her come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shortly after DD was born my MIL had a discussion with me about controlling my "urges" and "desires" because even though I was breastfeeding I could still get pregnant.
MIL told my husband that once DD had a passport (living out of country at the time) I was going to leave him and runaway with the baby.
While breastfeeding she tried to take DD off my breast (latched onto nipple) because "DD's had enough."
I don't talk to MIL anymore.

Wow. I don't usually have boundary issues (I have had some very frank discussions with inlaws!) but if someone physically touched me or my baby like that while I was breastfeeding I would have knocked their hand away hard. WTF. And your second example is pretty bad too. Hope DH saw through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was a premie and had some early health issues-- and a 2 year old brother who moved non-stop, all of which is to say I was very protective &worried about her, incredibly sleep deprived, and had PPD. My mother lived about a half hour away, and was on the emergency pickup list at her daycare. The week after I returned to work (so DD was about 16 weeks) my mother took advantage of that to CHECK MY BABY OUT OF DAYCARE for most of the day. Did she call and ask if DD could spend the day with Nana? Maybe drop me a quick text? Nope. I went to pick DCs up, and they told me that Larla had so enjoyed he day out with her grandmother, and had just gotten back. WTF? Ummm Mom? "You ask me not to call you at work..." So for most of the day my infant was not where I thought she was. And if I had needed to pick her up early, she would have been missing. Ugghh.

Ugh, this is why my inlaws were not on the day care emergency pick up list until this year. I don't think they'd actually do that but I wasn't 100% sure so I refused to put them on there the first couple of years. (They're wonderful people, just seemed a little over-invested in their grandson when he was a baby.) I have finally realized that although they may talk about spending all day with him they would not actually sign him out without my consent, so we put them on the list this year and all has been fine. (Plus we've given them an opportunity to spend all day with him a couple times and it wears them out and they no longer talk about it quite as much!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

Can you find a nice last-minute trip to go on with your immediate family?

Is he calling her bluff with this? Because it's kind of brilliant if he is. I'm sure she wants to be with grandkids, not chilling in a hotel. And if there's not a real problem that will become obvious pretty fast once he's there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin has posted at least two abortions.

Disgusting. Posted what? Details? Pictures? And where, Facebook?

Thankfully no photos of any remains or blood, but abortion memes accompanied by a narrative with details. She got a lot of attention both times, then got mad at the comments and deleted everything.

This is not a college student. She's in her 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin has posted at least two abortions.

Disgusting. Posted what? Details? Pictures? And where, Facebook?

Thankfully no photos of any remains or blood, but abortion memes accompanied by a narrative with details. She got a lot of attention both times, then got mad at the comments and deleted everything.

This is not a college student. She's in her 30s.

Talk about over-share. I am pro-choice but why the hell would you ever post that?! (And I would feel similarly about posting details of a birth, miscarriage, or surgery, for what it's worth.)