Poor Communication from New School

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand your concern and remember feeling a bit the same way. The application process is so hands on with tons of communication, then you wait for acceptances and get nervous, finally you receive those letters, possibly agonize over making a choice with a quick turn around when there seem to be an overwhelming number of events, then it goes quiet...

Know that your feelings are normal and understandable, but there are also good reasons to try not to focus so much on the new school and just enjoy your summer. Try not to let your child pick up on your anxiety.

For many children the more you focus on a change, the more anxious they become. What difference will it make if you know the answers to your questions in July or August?

I've done two transitions, one with a few early summer events, one that waited until late August/early September. The summer events were nice in some ways, but my DD was full of more questions and more concerns after each and never seemed to remember kids from one event to the next. The one that did little early in the summer, but concentrated on specifics right before school (actual classroom, letter from specific teacher...) did a lot to make my other DD more comfortable.

All of that being said, I'd go ahead and call the school. Ask if they have a buddy program and what their policies are. Maybe someone dropped the ball, or maybe they have a different timeline. If it's the latter it doesn't mean you made the wrong choice, just that they have a way of doing things that seems to have worked for them in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

Buddy families are volunteers, not servants for hire. The previous poster sounds like OP in a new, irritating guise.

Any family that is so neurotic that it can't deal with the run-up to a new school without a buddy family deserves to remain buddy-less. Which OP may be.
Not all incoming families will have a buddy family, because sometimes there aren't enough volunteers. Summer is a busy time for a lot of families, between camp and vacations. In that eventuality, the admissions office will prioritize the nicer families, i.e. those they most want to retain. So maybe OP has already irritated the admissions team enough that she wasn't assigned a buddy family.

When we were new to a school. We were pleasantly surprised when we had a buddy family, but neither expected nor demanded one. My recollection is that we were mostly contacted in late July or August, so being stressed about it in June is just plain silly.

They prioritize according to niceness and who they want to retain? Lol that's outrageous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

Buddy families are volunteers, not servants for hire. The previous poster sounds like OP in a new, irritating guise.

Any family that is so neurotic that it can't deal with the run-up to a new school without a buddy family deserves to remain buddy-less. Which OP may be.
Not all incoming families will have a buddy family, because sometimes there aren't enough volunteers. Summer is a busy time for a lot of families, between camp and vacations. In that eventuality, the admissions office will prioritize the nicer families, i.e. those they most want to retain. So maybe OP has already irritated the admissions team enough that she wasn't assigned a buddy family.

When we were new to a school. We were pleasantly surprised when we had a buddy family, but neither expected nor demanded one. My recollection is that we were mostly contacted in late July or August, so being stressed about it in June is just plain silly.

They prioritize according to niceness and who they want to retain? Lol that's outrageous.

Yep, that's the way it works, OP. If they have a limited number of buddy families, who do you think is more likely to get assigned a buddy? The very wealthy families (not you, obviously, since you think $30,000 in tuition is so much money that it entitles you to VIP treatment) and the nicer ones. Since there aren't that many super-wealthy families, the next on the priority list are the ones who make a positive impression on the admissions team.

Consider it the "little people's" revenge. Or, you could say that it's simply human nature to want to give more to people who are pleasant and treat us well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

Buddy families are volunteers, not servants for hire. The previous poster sounds like OP in a new, irritating guise.

Any family that is so neurotic that it can't deal with the run-up to a new school without a buddy family deserves to remain buddy-less. Which OP may be.
Not all incoming families will have a buddy family, because sometimes there aren't enough volunteers. Summer is a busy time for a lot of families, between camp and vacations. In that eventuality, the admissions office will prioritize the nicer families, i.e. those they most want to retain. So maybe OP has already irritated the admissions team enough that she wasn't assigned a buddy family.

When we were new to a school. We were pleasantly surprised when we had a buddy family, but neither expected nor demanded one. My recollection is that we were mostly contacted in late July or August, so being stressed about it in June is just plain silly.

They prioritize according to niceness and who they want to retain? Lol that's outrageous.

Yep, that's the way it works, OP. If they have a limited number of buddy families, who do you think is more likely to get assigned a buddy? The very wealthy families (not you, obviously, since you think $30,000 in tuition is so much money that it entitles you to VIP treatment) and the nicer ones. Since there aren't that many super-wealthy families, the next on the priority list are the ones who make a positive impression on the admissions team.

Consider it the "little people's" revenge. Or, you could say that it's simply human nature to want to give more to people who are pleasant and treat us well.

I'm not OP, but thanks for the heads up. You said "us" so I assume you work for a school. It's disappointing to read this sort of tone from a school's Admissions Office.

Well, we are not concerned about our child making friends at her new school. It's not the school's responsibility to match our daughter up with friends. I know she will be just fine. She's just looking forward to the start of the school year and so are we!

[Anonymous]

That's not true of all admissions offices if any at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

Buddy families are volunteers, not servants for hire. The previous poster sounds like OP in a new, irritating guise.

Any family that is so neurotic that it can't deal with the run-up to a new school without a buddy family deserves to remain buddy-less. Which OP may be.
Not all incoming families will have a buddy family, because sometimes there aren't enough volunteers. Summer is a busy time for a lot of families, between camp and vacations. In that eventuality, the admissions office will prioritize the nicer families, i.e. those they most want to retain. So maybe OP has already irritated the admissions team enough that she wasn't assigned a buddy family.

When we were new to a school. We were pleasantly surprised when we had a buddy family, but neither expected nor demanded one. My recollection is that we were mostly contacted in late July or August, so being stressed about it in June is just plain silly.

They prioritize according to niceness and who they want to retain? Lol that's outrageous.

Yep, that's the way it works, OP. If they have a limited number of buddy families, who do you think is more likely to get assigned a buddy? The very wealthy families (not you, obviously, since you think $30,000 in tuition is so much money that it entitles you to VIP treatment) and the nicer ones. Since there aren't that many super-wealthy families, the next on the priority list are the ones who make a positive impression on the admissions team.

Consider it the "little people's" revenge. Or, you could say that it's simply human nature to want to give more to people who are pleasant and treat us well.

I'm not OP, but thanks for the heads up. You said "us" so I assume you work for a school. It's disappointing to read this sort of tone from a school's Admissions Office.

Well, we are not concerned about our child making friends at her new school. It's not the school's responsibility to match our daughter up with friends. I know she will be just fine. She's just looking forward to the start of the school year and so are we!

If you read the nasty, entitled tone of some of the earlier posters, I'm actually surprised that we don't hear more complaints from admissions people on this board.

[Anonymous]

Two weeks later, OP, any updates? did you hear from the school? buddy family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two weeks later, OP, any updates? did you hear from the school? buddy family?

Please don't revive this long whine of a thread,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

My son is starting 6th grade at a new private school (not in DC). Until I read this thread, it hadn't occurred to me that he might be assigned a buddy family. The few questions I've had about summer math and reading assignments have been answered by either the principal or secretary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

You prompted me to get on it and I contacted my buddy family. I haven't heard back though! I want to point out that I will not draw any conclusions about them except that it's summer and people are busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a buddy family and you haven't called your new family yet, get on it. How rude. The new family is nervous enough enough without your absence. Tge child has all kinds of questions, the parent has questions, and you should be doing exactly what you signed up for.

You prompted me to get on it and I contacted my buddy family. I haven't heard back though! I want to point out that I will not draw any conclusions about them except that it's summer and people are busy.

Although one could make the argument that not all incoming families are as F*&#$d up as OP. Most see buddy families as a nice gesture, not an absolute necessity without whom they will suffer the dire consequences of unanswered questions. Gasp!

[Anonymous]

I also was advised not to contact the school with a multitude of questions, but I understand why and how it can make one appear to be a problem famiky right from the start of the school year. I didn't hear from my mentor family either, but I just asked other members of the school community for information. Just enjoy your summer because August will be here before you know it and your child will be just fine. Schools know what they are doing.

[Anonymous]

So, another perspective. I contacted our buddy family weeks ago by voicemail and e-mail. They have not responded at all. How very rude. Someone volunteers to help you and reaches out to you, and you can't be bothered to even acknowledge them?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they didn't get your message. I've been told that our buddy family tried to contact us but I haven't received any calls or emails so there must be a miscommunication. We know we will connect with them at some point. Try calling your family again