How are Mormons so nice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my mormon coworker is very "nice" but he is passive aggressive as hell and engages in little power plays all the time. Which he covers up by being very "nice." ugh.

Superficial and smug are two words that come to mind. I work with someone who's not a team player. He'll go overboard for his church and family but he won't collaborate with us. At this point, I've "shunned" him, as I've learned how to get around him in order to get my own work done/

Interesting! This is my experience as well. I've worked with many mormons who seem superficially nice, but are withdrawn from most folks the the office. Over time, it becomes clear that they look out for each other first and foremost - family, church and mormon colleagues.

Most of this thread reads like it has been written by someone with an agenda. I wonder if Jeff has looked at how many unique posters there are - or whether it's the same person waxing on about kind, sweet mormons again and again.

I am a pp who said that I find Mormons to be lovely. I really do. I think the religion is pretty BSC, but the people themselves seem to be awesome and I envy parts of their community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my mormon coworker is very "nice" but he is passive aggressive as hell and engages in little power plays all the time. Which he covers up by being very "nice." ugh.

Superficial and smug are two words that come to mind. I work with someone who's not a team player. He'll go overboard for his church and family but he won't collaborate with us. At this point, I've "shunned" him, as I've learned how to get around him in order to get my own work done/

Interesting! This is my experience as well. I've worked with many mormons who seem superficially nice, but are withdrawn from most folks the the office. Over time, it becomes clear that they look out for each other first and foremost - family, church and mormon colleagues.

Most of this thread reads like it has been written by someone with an agenda. I wonder if Jeff has looked at how many unique posters there are - or whether it's the same person waxing on about kind, sweet mormons again and again.

You are ridiculous. For once, someone wants to point out the good in the world, and you want to try to take it away. IDK if there is an agenda, but I have never known a Mormon person to be any of these negative things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had 3 Mormon nannies and a bunch of babysitters. They were as the op describes: kind, warm, loving, and good natured. Interestingly, they were totally non-judgemental - we could leave wine bottles on the kitchen counter and shed kindly rinse them out and place them into recycling.

Same with the Mormons I know. The nicest people. Never judge us or try to convert us. We spend a decent amount of time around them and have known them for a few years. They don't drink any caffeinated beverages and of course they don't drink alcohol, but they don't judge us for doing it. The parents are so loving towards the children and the children are so polite, respectful and well behaved/mannered. I value the time my kids spend with these families because they are so good to my kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Related to this topic, I am fascinated by the fact that so many successful bloggers are Mormon.

Stephanie Nielson is a Mormon blogger and one of the most shallow, vile people I've come across.

So is the Dooce lady

She was raised Mormon. She has not been a member for sometime.

She's also made of crazy, Mormon or not.

So? I know plenty of families that go to church every week who are "made of crazy". Appearances are once thing, behind closed doors is another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Mormon. Not all of them are that nice, and when you leave, they are quick to shut you out.

This sums it up for me too! I was raised around mormons. There is a thin veneer of nice, but it wears off quickly. I am sure there are nice mormons, just like there are nice people of every background. But mormons as a whole are more exclusive, righteous and self-serving than most groups that I've encountered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Mormon. Not all of them are that nice, and when you leave, they are quick to shut you out.

This sums it up for me too! I was raised around mormons. There is a thin veneer of nice, but it wears off quickly. I am sure there are nice mormons, just like there are nice people of every background. But mormons as a whole are more exclusive, righteous and self-serving than most groups that I've encountered.

PP here. I'm shocked. I have lived with Mormons, and they were quite pleasant.

[Anonymous]

A significant study published earlier this year shows that teen suicide is higher in states with substantial Mormon populations -- in Utah, it's twice as high at the national average. I don't think Mormons are universally "nice" at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Mormon. Not all of them are that nice, and when you leave, they are quick to shut you out.

This sums it up for me too! I was raised around mormons. There is a thin veneer of nice, but it wears off quickly. I am sure there are nice mormons, just like there are nice people of every background. But mormons as a whole are more exclusive, righteous and self-serving than most groups that I've encountered.

This is my experience too. I have also known a lot of Mormon lawyers and some of them are very openly judgmental and not nice at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my mormon coworker is very "nice" but he is passive aggressive as hell and engages in little power plays all the time. Which he covers up by being very "nice." ugh.

Superficial and smug are two words that come to mind. I work with someone who's not a team player. He'll go overboard for his church and family but he won't collaborate with us. At this point, I've "shunned" him, as I've learned how to get around him in order to get my own work done/

Interesting! This is my experience as well. I've worked with many mormons who seem superficially nice, but are withdrawn from most folks the the office. Over time, it becomes clear that they look out for each other first and foremost - family, church and mormon colleagues.

Most of this thread reads like it has been written by someone with an agenda. I wonder if Jeff has looked at how many unique posters there are - or whether it's the same person waxing on about kind, sweet mormons again and again.

OP here. Give me a break, Nancy Drew. I haven't done any sock puppeting. Why don't you cool your heels?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have known a group of Mormon lawyers for almost a decade and not one has ever gossiped, shirked work, boasted, been caught in a lie, or lost their temper to my knowledge. I have been to their houses, met their wives, worked closely with them on miserable cases with long days, late nights, and awful colleagues. I have seen them each under extreme pressure and in unfair situations. Yet, they have been unfailingly kind, patient, calm, and good.

How is this possible?

There is literally no one else I have ever known who has kept up such exemplary behavior for even a week. Not even other religious people I know (who profess to have the "joy of the Lord" and other such nonsense, but are worse than most athiests and agnostics who profess no such moral standards).

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I would love to learn how to maintain such exemplary behavior. I would also love to teach it to my kids.

+1

Mormons spend all of Sunday at church, fast all morning beforehand, tithe a bunch of their money to their church without fail, go on meaningful Missions as young adults, and a whole host of other things *in practice* to keep their faith. They are amazing, in terms of practicing, as you said, OP. I have known many Mormons, and lived with a couple in my younger days (as roommates), and it is not just an "act", or demonstrated when it is "convenient" to them. I really admire them, myself.

OTOH, I know Catholics (this is not bashing, as my husband is Catholic) - who go to church for an hour each Sunday and treat their neighbors, quite literally, like crap - attacking them at every turn. They infinitely *say* they are a "good person", and rarely show it, or show it only when it is convenient. Such hogwash. I avoid those people like the plague to society and mankind that they are.

OP here. What you describe is my exact experience of Catholics and Evangelicals. I didn't want to name names in my first post, but most Christians other than Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are thoroughly miserable people, in my experience. I have a family full of various sects of Christians and they are just awful.

[Anonymous]

It's a strange thing, with Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. They are often very lovely humans to be around. Great co workers, very honest and trustworthy. Polite children. Etc. As the pp was saying, many times other Christian sects are less tolerable.
My take, as someone who grew up in the JW congregation from age 4, is that the JW and Mormon religions are subtle, brainwashed cults . Knowing that leaving the faith might lose you everything - family, job, friends- is a real motivator. I left, and no one- no one in my congregation spoke one word to me- and I was only 16, and sad because I was abused and no one cared. I don't know about Mormons, but when you join the JWS, they will often tell you that the Devil will try to tempt you through friends and family, who may attempt to dissuade you from the religion.
The members of these cults are so sure they are the only true religion, and it keeps them in sway. Regular Christians are allowed to question and have doubts, nor do they take everything as literally. When you actually believe that Revelations is real, you'll lock step.

[Anonymous]

Mormonism is not a Christian sect. Similar vocabulary, but completely different meanings.

[Anonymous]

Mormonism is not Christian. Its roots lie in Christianity but saying that Mormons are Christian is like saying Christians are Jews.

A couple of Mormons over the years have told me that, "We think we are Jews." I'm not sure how that works. Some sort of lost tribe that wound up in North America or some such nonsense.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, but I teach 3 Mormon siblings (different grades, all high school), and they are the NICEST kids I've known, and Mormon kids in the past have been this way as well. They seem to be somehow impervious to the meanness and petty teenage insecurities that cause so many hurt feelings, and are just shockingly sweet, mature, kind-hearted kids.

One of them, a graduating senior this year, was voted "Best Looking" in this year's yearbook; he's a gorgeous kid, and a bevy of girls swoon over him. But he's such a nice kid, in a way you don't normally see in the "popular" teens: he actually stands up to other kids who liked to mock an overweight girl, and once punched a kid who was harassing a disabled classmate (they were both suspended, cementing the Mormon kid's hero-heart-throb status for good, I think). (And I don't teach in the DC area, so I'm not outing anyone).

[Anonymous]

I am the PP a few up that was comparing Mormons and JWS to "other Christian sects". You're correct, Mormons are not Christian, per se. My point stands that it is a cult. Believe me, they may be nice, but they do believe you, the non Mormon, are doomed . With the Witnesses I knew growing up, there was a pity for non believers and belief that the door to door work was the way to bring everyone to the One True Religion. They are non violent, so if you don't accept the teaching, you will just die eventually. However, if they don't try hard enough to save you, your blood is on their hands. This is why they so fervently go door to door.