How are Mormons so nice?

[Anonymous]

yeah -- coffee is a no-no, right up there with beer and wine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no interest in becoming a Mormon but the Mormon families I know are all very close, loving and hard working.

That's what they want you to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all Mormons are nice...

Compared to The Donald, Mitt Romney acts like a saint (not just the Latter Day kind).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Mormon. Not all of them are that nice, and when you leave, they are quick to shut you out.

OP here. I can actually understand a religious sect shutting out someone who rejects the sect's values and leaves. What do you think enables the nice ones to be so nice?

NP and also a former Mormon. It's brutal the way some Mormon families shun children who leave the faith or decide not to serve missions (for boys anyway). It's less of an issue around here where there isn't a large LDS population and people aren't particularly concerned about who attends which church, but in places like Utah or Idaho, kids who decide to peace out from the LDS Church receive a ton of backlash from everyone from the plumber to the baker.

In terms of nice Mormons, it's probably a combination of a couple things: 1. an extension of the Protestant work ethic 2. the sincere belief that you should be honest in dealings with your peers (this is a big tenet of the faith, although IMO, quite a few of the higher-ups in the Church hierarchy could use a refresher course on this one) 3. learning the importance of organization and being willing to help others from a young age

[Anonymous]

I had a number of Mormon friends growing up in California. I think OP's observations are pretty spot-on, from my experience. They really are genuinely nice, polite, caring people. Obviously not everyone in the religion. I think many are probably repressed as well. But to completely generalize, they do seem very honest, good people as a whole. They also age very well. Must be the no alcohol/caffeine/tobacco thing.

[Anonymous]

My mother-in-law is Mormon and is one of the kindest, most giving women you could ever meet. She is constantly busy doing for others. It is almost too much, sometimes we want her to back up just a little bit. I do admire her strength in doing for others all the time though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have known a group of Mormon lawyers for almost a decade and not one has ever gossiped, shirked work, boasted, been caught in a lie, or lost their temper to my knowledge. I have been to their houses, met their wives, worked closely with them on miserable cases with long days, late nights, and awful colleagues. I have seen them each under extreme pressure and in unfair situations. Yet, they have been unfailingly kind, patient, calm, and good.

How is this possible?

There is literally no one else I have ever known who has kept up such exemplary behavior for even a week. Not even other religious people I know (who profess to have the "joy of the Lord" and other such nonsense, but are worse than most athiests and agnostics who profess no such moral standards).

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I would love to learn how to maintain such exemplary behavior. I would also love to teach it to my kids.

Do they promote all lawyers equally or give preference to other Mormons?

[Anonymous]

I know a mormon who had a nervous break down. His wife was nuts, would chase him at work for him to try on a sweater she bought him. He was too nice for himself, if he told her off maybe he would have saved his sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have known a group of Mormon lawyers for almost a decade and not one has ever gossiped, shirked work, boasted, been caught in a lie, or lost their temper to my knowledge. I have been to their houses, met their wives, worked closely with them on miserable cases with long days, late nights, and awful colleagues. I have seen them each under extreme pressure and in unfair situations. Yet, they have been unfailingly kind, patient, calm, and good.

How is this possible?

There is literally no one else I have ever known who has kept up such exemplary behavior for even a week. Not even other religious people I know (who profess to have the "joy of the Lord" and other such nonsense, but are worse than most athiests and agnostics who profess no such moral standards).

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I would love to learn how to maintain such exemplary behavior. I would also love to teach it to my kids.

I feel like there is a joke in there somewhere...

I used to work with a Mormon woman. Don't acknowledge your emotions. Women are to "keep sweet." (Think Michelle Duggar.) Boys showing unacceptable emotions can be severely punished. Anyone who has difficulty maintaining the proper image can be kicked out of the family. The Lord doesn't want to witness negative thoughts or behavior, so you don't do it or you will disappoint him. Some of the men may have it under control in public, but it comes out at home.

They maintain the image you see because they are not allowed to acknowledge any emotion but joy. Of course some would have that personality anyway, but if it doesn't come naturally it is trained into them. Anything but joy is "given to God" and then let go. Supposedly. You don't admit to it, anyway. How do you do that without religion?

[Anonymous]

I work for a large fortune 500 company that was founded by Mormons. I have to tell you this is the most ethical company I have ever worked in and ironically the most LGBT friendly company as well. I definitely see with the OP sees.

[Anonymous]

I always thought they were so nice because they wanted to convert you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have known a group of Mormon lawyers for almost a decade and not one has ever gossiped, shirked work, boasted, been caught in a lie, or lost their temper to my knowledge. I have been to their houses, met their wives, worked closely with them on miserable cases with long days, late nights, and awful colleagues. I have seen them each under extreme pressure and in unfair situations. Yet, they have been unfailingly kind, patient, calm, and good.

How is this possible?

There is literally no one else I have ever known who has kept up such exemplary behavior for even a week. Not even other religious people I know (who profess to have the "joy of the Lord" and other such nonsense, but are worse than most athiests and agnostics who profess no such moral standards).

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I would love to learn how to maintain such exemplary behavior. I would also love to teach it to my kids.

I feel like there is a joke in there somewhere...

I used to work with a Mormon woman. Don't acknowledge your emotions. Women are to "keep sweet." (Think Michelle Duggar.) Boys showing unacceptable emotions can be severely punished. Anyone who has difficulty maintaining the proper image can be kicked out of the family. The Lord doesn't want to witness negative thoughts or behavior, so you don't do it or you will disappoint him. Some of the men may have it under control in public, but it comes out at home.

They maintain the image you see because they are not allowed to acknowledge any emotion but joy. Of course some would have that personality anyway, but if it doesn't come naturally it is trained into them. Anything but joy is "given to God" and then let go. Supposedly. You don't admit to it, anyway. How do you do that without religion?

Umm, you've been watching too much tv, PP. I grew up in a Mormon family and what you say just isn't true. My entire family is still active Mormon but I am no longer active. To answer OP's question, it's true that 90%+ of Mormons are as you describe -- hard working, honest, and just plain nice. I don't know if there's one reason for why this is, but I think a big part of it is that Mormons spend a lot of their time doing volunteer work, helping other families, etc. The more you help other people, the better you feel about yourself and the world. Mormons are generally happy because they know that they're helping others, and they also believe in something bigger than life on earth. Glad you're able to work with some nice people!

[Anonymous]

Related to this topic, I am fascinated by the fact that so many successful bloggers are Mormon.

[Anonymous]

I think there's something to be said for belonging to a strong community with structured events (like a really strong church) in that there's less daily anxiety over certain things--your plans are made for you in many ways and you don't worry about feeling left out or being dragged in a million directions (since your whole circle goes to the same places). So you arrive at work with less stress over the stuff happening on the outside. And you know there are back-ups for things like child care, etc. through that network.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have known a group of Mormon lawyers for almost a decade and not one has ever gossiped, shirked work, boasted, been caught in a lie, or lost their temper to my knowledge. I have been to their houses, met their wives, worked closely with them on miserable cases with long days, late nights, and awful colleagues. I have seen them each under extreme pressure and in unfair situations. Yet, they have been unfailingly kind, patient, calm, and good.

How is this possible?

There is literally no one else I have ever known who has kept up such exemplary behavior for even a week. Not even other religious people I know (who profess to have the "joy of the Lord" and other such nonsense, but are worse than most athiests and agnostics who profess no such moral standards).

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I would love to learn how to maintain such exemplary behavior. I would also love to teach it to my kids.

I feel like there is a joke in there somewhere...

I used to work with a Mormon woman. Don't acknowledge your emotions. Women are to "keep sweet." (Think Michelle Duggar.) Boys showing unacceptable emotions can be severely punished. Anyone who has difficulty maintaining the proper image can be kicked out of the family. The Lord doesn't want to witness negative thoughts or behavior, so you don't do it or you will disappoint him. Some of the men may have it under control in public, but it comes out at home.

They maintain the image you see because they are not allowed to acknowledge any emotion but joy. Of course some would have that personality anyway, but if it doesn't come naturally it is trained into them. Anything but joy is "given to God" and then let go. Supposedly. You don't admit to it, anyway. How do you do that without religion?

Umm, you've been watching too much tv, PP. I grew up in a Mormon family and what you say just isn't true. My entire family is still active Mormon but I am no longer active. To answer OP's question, it's true that 90%+ of Mormons are as you describe -- hard working, honest, and just plain nice. I don't know if there's one reason for why this is, but I think a big part of it is that Mormons spend a lot of their time doing volunteer work, helping other families, etc. The more you help other people, the better you feel about yourself and the world. Mormons are generally happy because they know that they're helping others, and they also believe in something bigger than life on earth. Glad you're able to work with some nice people!

And PS -- they're hardworking because that's ingrained in Mormon teachings, dating back to Brigham Young. You're supposed to use your talents to their fullest extent and you're supposed to work hard. There is a lot of striving in Mormon culture. Full disclosure -- I'm talking about Utah Mormons, but I would guess that the Mormons you're working with have at list some Utah ties.