TO THE MOM WHO RED SHIRTED HER SON AND COMPLAINS HE'S NOT CHALLENGED

[Anonymous]

Kids in other states START at 4yrs old. 5 is normal and even older in other states. Kids starting ages 6 and 7 are absurd. They are going to be 2-3yrs older than other college freshman.



Who keeps saying this? If a student is held back for 1 year, then he is 1 year older than the other kids. Not 2-3 years! As a senior, the kid will be 18 turning 19 instead of 17 turning 18.

And how many red-shirted kids are in your kids' classrooms? I've got 3 elementary kids. In one class of 28, there are two kids who were delayed in starting (two Aug b-days), In another class of 26, there is one kid (Sept b-day). In the third class with 26 kids, there are two kids (one May b-day and one Aug b-day) This is in a big FCPS elementary school.

Relax, people.


In my kid's 1st grade class at an FCPS elementary, there are 2 boys out of 29 who did not start on time. One's b-day is Sept 28, and then other was born sometime in August. It doesn't seem to affect the class one iota.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a teeny-tiny kindergartener who was the size of a three year old (bottom five percent of the growth curve). She would have found it challenging to be with kids her own age who were so much bigger than she was. Yes, by all means, put her in with kids who are two years older than her and also big for their age. That sounds like a great plan.

Did you really red-shirt your daughter based on her size and the fact that others red shirt?? Wow, I have heard it all.

No, she was the size of a 3 year old but reading on a sixth grade level so we sent her to kindy. What else would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

Got it. Not allowed to have any opinions about the classroom because I have a non-standard kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

Got it. Not allowed to have any opinions about the classroom because I have a non-standard kid.

Well, what did you expect to happen if your academically on-grade child was redshirted? Man, talk about making your bed but not wanting to lie in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

Got it. Not allowed to have any opinions about the classroom because I have a non-standard kid.

Well, what did you expect to happen if your academically on-grade child was redshirted? Man, talk about making your bed but not wanting to lie in it.

Exactly. If you deliberately hold your kid back, don't complain that he's not being challenged. That was a totally foreseeable consequence of your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They say boys are 6-12 months behind girls at young ages. So her son is really more like 5-11 months older than your DD.

I love how people will come up with any bs to justify their poor parenting. I have three kids all the youngest in their grades and I would say they are at the top of their classes. Sports is the only place it shows up but not enough for us to re-think our decision. I will say they have learned to hustle and that will make them stronger in the end compared to the older kids that are coasting through school. Well at least until late middle school when the work gets harder and those kids never learned to study bc they were "never challenged". But at least the older kids can play sports better than their "peers" that are a year to a year and a half younger. That's impressive.

My thoughts exactly. Mom of a DS and DD with mid-summer birthdays who did not hold back. With almost no exceptions, the kids I know who were held back were done so to gain an advantage in sports. At least the boys keep their advantage through middle school. What I wonder about is how those girls, who blow past everybody through about 5th or 6th grade do when they stop growing and everyone else catches up to them. Since they coasted by everybody with their year advantage, my guess is they are going to be a little challenged in the grit area. Time will tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't typically redshirt because of academic concerns. They redshirt because of social concerns. Don't worry, nobody is trying to show up your little Larla.

That's fine, but then don't complain that it's not challenging enough. That is really annoying.

I agree with you OP.

Well, try to have a little sympathy. I'm the mom of a (very tall, very verbal and bright) boy who might have to be redshirted for behavioral/maturity/social issues. Do you think I like having to chose between his social adjustment and his academic challenge? If I didn't redshirt him I am POSITIVE you'd be on here complaining about the "weird kid" or the "aggressive kid" that would as a result be bothering your Larlita.

Great. So now your kid will just be weird and aggressive toward my kid, who is over a year younger because I didn't hold back? Where's your sympathy? Because I know your very tall, verbal boy, and he's been terrorizing my DD since 2nd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

Got it. Not allowed to have any opinions about the classroom because I have a non-standard kid.

A non-standard kid? YOU made him a non-standard kid by red-shirting him. Stop placing the blame elsewhere. Just wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the experience of this other child in your kid's class will barely make a difference in your child's education in the long run. rest assured that other parents are dealing with their own children's problems that you may know nothing about. If the kid is poorly adjusted socially and doesn't catch up, that is sad for him, but please don't pile on and blame the parents who are only trying to do something about it (even if it is not working). Before you blame people and type in all caps in anger, try to have some compassion. if you can't have that, than simply mind your own business.

But in OP's case, the parent who redshirted is the one complaining that school is not challenging enough for the redshirted kid. OP was probably minding her own business, but this parent opened her mouth to complain about it. It's kind of like how parents make their kids go to after school tutoring to be more "advanced", then complain that school is not challenging enough. Yea. You artificially created that problem, so please stop complaining.

Got it. Not allowed to have any opinions about the classroom because I have a non-standard kid.

PP, the on-time kids in your child's class are also non-standard. Kids aren't "standard".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Kids in other states START at 4yrs old. 5 is normal and even older in other states. Kids starting ages 6 and 7 are absurd. They are going to be 2-3yrs older than other college freshman.



Who keeps saying this? If a student is held back for 1 year, then he is 1 year older than the other kids. Not 2-3 years! As a senior, the kid will be 18 turning 19 instead of 17 turning 18.

And how many red-shirted kids are in your kids' classrooms? I've got 3 elementary kids. In one class of 28, there are two kids who were delayed in starting (two Aug b-days), In another class of 26, there is one kid (Sept b-day). In the third class with 26 kids, there are two kids (one May b-day and one Aug b-day) This is in a big FCPS elementary school.

Relax, people.


In my kid's 1st grade class at an FCPS elementary, there are 2 boys out of 29 who did not start on time. One's b-day is Sept 28, and then other was born sometime in August. It doesn't seem to affect the class one iota.

There are many kids that graduate and even enter college at 17. That used to be the norm here and is still in many other states. 18 was the oldest to graduate. There is a child in my daughter's 9th grade that just celebrated her 16th birthday in March. She will be 19.5yrs old when she starts college. My daughter will be 17. So yes, there is over a 2 year difference in MANY college freshman due to Sept 1st cut off with red-shirting and states that have Dec 31st cut-off and no red-shirting. This is not always a month or so here and there. Some families red shirt and start at 6.5+yrs old while other states start at 4yrs old.

Don't even take into account the Central American refugees starting school as 18yr old freshman. You can legally stay in high school until your 22!

American: Home of the free and dumb

[Anonymous]

The mother of the red-shirted kid should keep her complains to herself. You created that mess sweetie, no one wants to hear about it now. You made your bed, now lie in it. Or here's a thought, push little junior up a grade now since he's not challenged and would be with kids his own age. Otherwise, shut-it!

[Anonymous]

I think if I had to listen to that, I would not be able to help saying something. So over these people. No, I don't want my daughter dating a 19-20 year old man in high school. Your 5 year old is going to be just fine!

[Anonymous]

Schools are competitive between students in higher grades. Red-shirting is cheating at the game, plain and simple. Schools should enforce classroom age limites -- i.e., the rules of the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if I had to listen to that, I would not be able to help saying something. So over these people. No, I don't want my daughter dating a 19-20 year old man in high school. Your 5 year old is going to be just fine!

+1. Just glad the CogAT shows results by age so you don't get a bump for trying to game the system in school districts that use it to assess for AAP.