TO THE MOM WHO RED SHIRTED HER SON AND COMPLAINS HE'S NOT CHALLENGED

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom of a kid that was held back for social reasons. I never complain my kid is not challenged. I get it, I'm not allowed to complain at all. Trust me, you say you can't say anything publicly. But plenty of moms have no problem saying "oh wait, he's 7....don't you mean 6? That's weird isn't it." Yes, I get it. You caught on we held him back. We were obviously trying to hide it with our b-day invite that said "7th b-day party" (or whatever year it is).

You made your bed. Boo effing hoo.

[Anonymous]

I am with you, OP. I have two girls with summer birthdays. I sent them both on-time. They are each the youngest in their grade. While they are doing well academically, they tend to be scared of some of the red-shirted boys during PE. I don't blame them. My girls are definitely not small but the boys who are nearly two years older than them are huge to an elementary school child. But I did not want to hold mine back academically for that reason. It's annoying, though. One child does not want to do a particular sport because one (very large, older) boy is so powerful, she fears being hurt. Nice kid. Just wish he were a grade or two beyond mine. He is well adjusted and I can't imagine any need to have held him back...except that the parents were advised to hold back boys in general.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, OP. On the flip side, my DD is ready for kindergarten but misses the cut-off by a few days. A. few. days. For that I have to make her wait another year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. On the flip side, my DD is ready for kindergarten but misses the cut-off by a few days. A. few. days. For that I have to make her wait another year?

You wait or you go private for two years and transfer at 2nd, like others of us do. It sucks. I figured if I had to pay for another year of private preschool, might as well pay for private K.

[Anonymous]

[So send your kid to private K and then to first grade. That way they would have Kindergarten in a smaller setting with more play and recess. To redshirt you would need to pay for another year of pre K or private K anyway. Give your child that year in a smaller or possibly more nurturing environment and then send them on time with their age to first grade.

This is what we did with our DS, who is now about to turn 6 as Kindergarten ends. Last year at this time, at the end of preK 4, his teachers were advocating redshirting, sending him to the private's Junior Kindergarten rather than Kindergarten. He wasn't clicking academically and he was having some social issues, but we weighed all the factors very carefully and chose to have him enter Kindergarten. A big factor in the decision was who his teacher would be. Each of DH and I did an observation in the JK and in the K classes. The Kindergarten teacher impressed us with her attitude, demeanor, sense of humor and communication style. The JK teacher was a good teacher but we sensed very strongly that the Kindergarten teacher's personality and approach would "click" with him, and we were right. The small size of the Kindergarten class also has really fostered his growth academically and socially, with a lot of play and recess as the PP noted. Some of the class did Junior Kindergarten before coming into Kindergarten with him, and they are ahead of him academically (especially the girls) but so what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. On the flip side, my DD is ready for kindergarten but misses the cut-off by a few days. A. few. days. For that I have to make her wait another year?

You wait or you go private for two years and transfer at 2nd, like others of us do. It sucks. I figured if I had to pay for another year of private preschool, might as well pay for private K.

I can't even find a private that doesn't adhere to the cutoff. Where are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't typically redshirt because of academic concerns. They redshirt because of social concerns. Don't worry, nobody is trying to show up your little Larla.

That's fine, but then don't complain that it's not challenging enough. That is really annoying.

I agree with you OP.

Well, try to have a little sympathy. I'm the mom of a (very tall, very verbal and bright) boy who might have to be redshirted for behavioral/maturity/social issues. Do you think I like having to chose between his social adjustment and his academic challenge? If I didn't redshirt him I am POSITIVE you'd be on here complaining about the "weird kid" or the "aggressive kid" that would as a result be bothering your Larlita.

I think OP and PP are both trying to say that if you choose to redshirt, that's fine, it's your choice. But if you do, you do so knowing that either academically or socially (if you're redshirting for cognitive reasons) your child is most likely ahead of what they're working on in kindergarten. It's kind of like ordering cake and being mad that it has sugar - you knew what you were getting into, deal with it. No one made you redshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you, OP. On the flip side, my DD is ready for kindergarten but misses the cut-off by a few days. A. few. days. For that I have to make her wait another year?

You wait or you go private for two years and transfer at 2nd, like others of us do. It sucks. I figured if I had to pay for another year of private preschool, might as well pay for private K.

I can't even find a private that doesn't adhere to the cutoff. Where are you?

Montgomery County - there are several. There are threads on here about it. Some preschools have a K. that will allow it but you need to get through 1st, or your child has to test in at 1st so its easier to do K and 1st privately and then transfer in 2nd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They say boys are 6-12 months behind girls at young ages. So her son is really more like 5-11 months older than your DD.

BS

-- The mother of a daughter and a son

+1, also mother of daughter and son.

+2

The mother of two sons. I have one son who is a June baby - he would be a complete disaster if I held him back a year (he is on the immature side of normal). I can't even imagine the grief he would give his teacher if I held him back a year.

+3 another mom of a son and daughter, both summer bdays. Boy is in a gifted program. I would definitely be "that" mom if I had held him back, complaining about how it's not challenging enough. Or DS would coast through ES, at least, never having to try, and turn out lazy. That would be bad, too. I asked DS if he thinks I should've held him back; he's now in MS. He gave me a "are you crazy" look.

+4. Research shows there is no difference with intelligence in boys/girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am with you, OP. I have two girls with summer birthdays. I sent them both on-time. They are each the youngest in their grade. While they are doing well academically, they tend to be scared of some of the red-shirted boys during PE. I don't blame them. My girls are definitely not small but the boys who are nearly two years older than them are huge to an elementary school child. But I did not want to hold mine back academically for that reason. It's annoying, though. One child does not want to do a particular sport because one (very large, older) boy is so powerful, she fears being hurt. Nice kid. Just wish he were a grade or two beyond mine. He is well adjusted and I can't imagine any need to have held him back...except that the parents were advised to hold back boys in general.

Summer birthdays to me aren't as much of an issue as March, April, May, June.

[Anonymous]

Red shirting needs to end. The age range in classrooms is ridiculous. Few kids behave perfectly all day in K. Your gems will survive. No one red shirted when we were kids and we all were ready. You just want your kid to be bigger and better in sports. Just admit it. Its ridiculous. In our K class, the age gap is 19 months. What a ridiculous system. I can't wait for DCPS finally to stand up to parents on this one. Oh wait. Kaya is too busy traveling to Cuba and tweeting about politics to give a crap about what's happening in our classrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People don't typically redshirt because of academic concerns. They redshirt because of social concerns. Don't worry, nobody is trying to show up your little Larla.

Those of us with girls are furious over the prospect of 20-year-old high school senior men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't typically redshirt because of academic concerns. They redshirt because of social concerns. Don't worry, nobody is trying to show up your little Larla.

Those of us with girls are furious over the prospect of 20-year-old high school senior men.

+1 exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They say boys are 6-12 months behind girls at young ages. So her son is really more like 5-11 months older than your DD.

I love how people will come up with any bs to justify their poor parenting. I have three kids all the youngest in their grades and I would say they are at the top of their classes. Sports is the only place it shows up but not enough for us to re-think our decision. I will say they have learned to hustle and that will make them stronger in the end compared to the older kids that are coasting through school. Well at least until late middle school when the work gets harder and those kids never learned to study bc they were "never challenged". But at least the older kids can play sports better than their "peers" that are a year to a year and a half younger. That's impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People don't typically redshirt because of academic concerns. They redshirt because of social concerns. Don't worry, nobody is trying to show up your little Larla.

That's fine, but then don't complain that it's not challenging enough. That is really annoying.

I agree with you OP.

Well, try to have a little sympathy. I'm the mom of a (very tall, very verbal and bright) boy who might have to be redshirted for behavioral/maturity/social issues. Do you think I like having to chose between his social adjustment and his academic challenge? If I didn't redshirt him I am POSITIVE you'd be on here complaining about the "weird kid" or the "aggressive kid" that would as a result be bothering your Larlita.

It's kindergarten. Send your immature boy, he will have plenty of company. I mean this.

Not necessarily true. Some kids aren't ready to sit still all day in a classroom with 20 other kids, being given group directions. K is really very academic now, tests using computers, worksheets, etc.



If some kids went, you would be complaining about the "annoying kid who disrupts class so the other snowflakes can't learn"

So send your kid to private K and then to first grade. That way they would have Kindergarten in a smaller setting with more play and recess. To redshirt you would need to pay for another year of pre K or private K anyway. Give your child that year in a smaller or possibly more nurturing environment and then send them on time with their age to first grade.

Oh yes, I can just manifest an affordable and nurturing private K in my area and be granted admission automatically!