Donor eggs. vs. adoption

[Anonymous]

OP We have two children by DE, same donor, fresh and frozen. They do look like my family but not like me. They look exactly like my DH and his mother. One of their teachers calls him Mr. OurEthnicity (like Mr Ireland). Not very PC but he means well-- he has no idea, of course. Both children are very smart and athletic like DH also. The only thing -- I am tiny and they are over 6 feet (like DH) We are SO HAPPY!
I told one person in another town -- not really a close friend -- and she told everyone she knew! You cannot control the flow of info. After that, we told NO ONE. My family would think it was "funny" to remind me every time they saw me, or something like that. They just are not very sensitive. I did some research and for donor sperm something like 80% of families never told anybody but the children when they were grown. So OK for men, but not for women? Donor sperm has been around forever as you might guess, as the process is somewhat different
I have not had one single problem with keeping this private between myself and DH. No need to tell the judgmental family!
My boys are healthy, happy, well adjusted children, now almost grown up. Uneventful pregnancies, although I do not love being pregnant. Choosing this over adoption was one of the best decisions of my life. I am just not suited to the politics and openness and everything else about adoption, especially with so few babies available. I know myself.
But make no mistake, DE is a kind of adoption and you have to be certain about that. I know at the beginning I was somewhat appalled -- like what?? A total stranger will be the genetic mother?? But I got used to it and now I am so glad I chose the path I did. Best of luck.