Irritating present from MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how much controversy this has generated!

I did think about donating. But I thought my son would probably be sad about donating something he got from his grandmother, and I didn't want to do it behind his back. I guess I'll ask him and see what he says. (BTW, the room is not "Pinterest worthy" in any sense, but this comforter would clash in a rather major way and overpower everything in the room, plus it's kind of violent and I'm not crazy about it becoming the main focus of his room). I'm okay with the idea of it being a cuddle blanket in the playroom (even though it's sort of huge for that -- it's an ENORMOUS comforter), so will do that if he doesn't want to donate it.

I'm really surprised how many people were quick to dub me the world's worst DIL just for saying that I thought this was a weird gift that I really didn't want. I would really like to be the "good" DIL who has a great relationship with her MIL, but my MIL's manipulative and erratic nature makes that impossible. We did invite my FIL to live with us for quite a while after one of her particularly awful and violent tirades -- and I think I was a great DIL to him! He stayed with us for a while, but then, because of his growing dementia, he kept forgetting how bad the situation was, and ended up moving back in with her.

It's actually not her worst gift -- for a period of time, she kept sending my daughter reeaaallly expensive ballgowns and I just didn't know what to do with them. Then there was the period where she would only send presents to her favorite one of our kids, and I had to deal with the inevitable tears over "why isn't there a present for me?" from the other kid. I know it could all be much worse, so I'm really not complaining. I was really mainly just curious if other people thought it was a weird gift, and to see what suggestions people had for how to deal with it.

And with that, I really hope this thread can now CLOSE...your point has been made, DCUM! By a vote of 99 to 4, apparently a comforter is considered a good gift by most people. So, get thee to a Bed Bath and Beyond and finish your holiday shopping!

I'm sorry for your family and for the pile-on, OP. Those of us who actually *read the thread* knew that this gift--while harmless as an object--was coming from an abusive person, thus prompting you to seek feedback/a gut check. Good luck, and take care.

Read the thread, people. If you can't be bothered, at least only chime in if you are saying something NEW instead of piling on.

[Anonymous]

So if your son wants it and would be sad to see it go, keep it.

You didn't just point out the gift is weird (which it isn't really, it's not a smart gift). The issue is your mil and your relationship with her. Your thread is about a terrible gift and your overreaction to it. I get there's s reason behind that, but the gift is not the issue here and you should stop clinging to it as problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how much controversy this has generated!

I did think about donating. But I thought my son would probably be sad about donating something he got from his grandmother, and I didn't want to do it behind his back. I guess I'll ask him and see what he says. (BTW, the room is not "Pinterest worthy" in any sense, but this comforter would clash in a rather major way and overpower everything in the room, plus it's kind of violent and I'm not crazy about it becoming the main focus of his room). I'm okay with the idea of it being a cuddle blanket in the playroom (even though it's sort of huge for that -- it's an ENORMOUS comforter), so will do that if he doesn't want to donate it.

I'm really surprised how many people were quick to dub me the world's worst DIL just for saying that I thought this was a weird gift that I really didn't want. I would really like to be the "good" DIL who has a great relationship with her MIL, but my MIL's manipulative and erratic nature makes that impossible. We did invite my FIL to live with us for quite a while after one of her particularly awful and violent tirades -- and I think I was a great DIL to him! He stayed with us for a while, but then, because of his growing dementia, he kept forgetting how bad the situation was, and ended up moving back in with her.

It's actually not her worst gift -- for a period of time, she kept sending my daughter reeaaallly expensive ballgowns and I just didn't know what to do with them. Then there was the period where she would only send presents to her favorite one of our kids, and I had to deal with the inevitable tears over "why isn't there a present for me?" from the other kid. I know it could all be much worse, so I'm really not complaining. I was really mainly just curious if other people thought it was a weird gift, and to see what suggestions people had for how to deal with it.

And with that, I really hope this thread can now CLOSE...your point has been made, DCUM! By a vote of 99 to 4, apparently a comforter is considered a good gift by most people. So, get thee to a Bed Bath and Beyond and finish your holiday shopping!

You said your DH doesn't talk with his mom...why are you? I am surprised you accept gifts from her at all after the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people like OP even function. I can't imagine how many times a day she's gravely offended.

Lol, so true. I wish my life was so stress free that I had time to get upset about a blanket!

I agree. And this kind of post is the exact reason why so many people post threads like, "My in-laws just aren't interested in my kids..." What they're not interested in having everything they do with and for your kids be picked over and questioned and put on trial by you.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe how much controversy this has generated!

I did think about donating. But I thought my son would probably be sad about donating something he got from his grandmother, and I didn't want to do it behind his back. I guess I'll ask him and see what he says. (BTW, the room is not "Pinterest worthy" in any sense, but this comforter would clash in a rather major way and overpower everything in the room, plus it's kind of violent and I'm not crazy about it becoming the main focus of his room). I'm okay with the idea of it being a cuddle blanket in the playroom (even though it's sort of huge for that -- it's an ENORMOUS comforter), so will do that if he doesn't want to donate it.


I'm really surprised how many people were quick to dub me the world's worst DIL just for saying that I thought this was a weird gift that I really didn't want.

How old is your son? My son is 6 and I cannot imagine deciding what to do with a comforter that my MIL gave him. It is his gift, I would ask him what he wanted to do. If he wants to use it, fine. If he wants to keep it in the closet for a bit, ok. If he wants to donate it, fine. Keep it in the playroom for a bit, that's fine too. I think it is super weird that you are referring to it as a "weird gift that I really didn't want" when it wasn't a gift for you! I mean, I can say that most of the things people give my son are not things I am dying to have (e.g., I don't feel we need to add to our massive collection of action figures), but they're his gifts.

[Anonymous]

OP,. what is the matter with you?

Your MIL gave your son a thoughtful gift. Who cares if it is perfect? Accept it graciously, and do whatever you want with it - use it, donate it, throw it out, whatever - when she is gone.

Be thankful your son has a grandmother and that she cares about him.

[Anonymous]

No, no, don't chill yet. What else drives you crazy on daily basis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,. what is the matter with you?

Your MIL gave your son a thoughtful gift. Who cares if it is perfect? Accept it graciously, and do whatever you want with it - use it, donate it, throw it out, whatever - when she is gone.

Be thankful your son has a grandmother and that she cares about him.

What's the matter with YOU? READ the thread. The MIL is abusive toward DH. Of course OP has weird feelings about MIL.

OP, honestly, this is why you have to put all relevant info in the *original post.* People don't read and just assume that they are contributing something new and meaningful after SEVEN PAGES of discussion...

[Anonymous]

OP< I agree this is an irritating gift. It is so manipulative! Of course it will dominate his bedroom and make a statement -- that is what MIL intended. And of course it will be obvious if it is not on display. So A+ to your MIL for most irritating gift. My MIL was an exert at this also. She ha a Raggedy Ann theme. We had so many of these dolls, blankets clothes, themes -- I wondered if she was trying to tell us something? We just put them all in the closet and rotated them out to the donation pile. I would do the same for the ball gowns, although they might get some dress up wear. As for the blanket, I would do the same (although an extra blanket could come in handy, unlike a doll collection)

[Anonymous]

OP and those like her who get irritated by this stuff need to pick your battles and need to stop trying to control everything. Seriously. This is not good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and those like her who get irritated by this stuff need to pick your battles and need to stop trying to control everything. Seriously. This is not good for you.

I like how you are trying to control OP and "those like her" by...telling her to stop being controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and those like her who get irritated by this stuff need to pick your battles and need to stop trying to control everything. Seriously. This is not good for you.

I like how you are trying to control OP and "those like her" by...telling her to stop being controlling.

yup. I'm definitely controlling her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and those like her who get irritated by this stuff need to pick your battles and need to stop trying to control everything. Seriously. This is not good for you.

I like how you are trying to control OP and "those like her" by...telling her to stop being controlling.

yup. I'm definitely controlling her.

What does "those like her" even mean? LOL

[Anonymous]

^ I qualified it: "who get irritated by this stuff".

I think you get what I mean. It's okay if you don't agree. But no need to be obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how much controversy this has generated!

I did think about donating. But I thought my son would probably be sad about donating something he got from his grandmother, and I didn't want to do it behind his back. I guess I'll ask him and see what he says. (BTW, the room is not "Pinterest worthy" in any sense, but this comforter would clash in a rather major way and overpower everything in the room, plus it's kind of violent and I'm not crazy about it becoming the main focus of his room). I'm okay with the idea of it being a cuddle blanket in the playroom (even though it's sort of huge for that -- it's an ENORMOUS comforter), so will do that if he doesn't want to donate it.

I'm really surprised how many people were quick to dub me the world's worst DIL just for saying that I thought this was a weird gift that I really didn't want. I would really like to be the "good" DIL who has a great relationship with her MIL, but my MIL's manipulative and erratic nature makes that impossible. We did invite my FIL to live with us for quite a while after one of her particularly awful and violent tirades -- and I think I was a great DIL to him! He stayed with us for a while, but then, because of his growing dementia, he kept forgetting how bad the situation was, and ended up moving back in with her.

It's actually not her worst gift -- for a period of time, she kept sending my daughter reeaaallly expensive ballgowns and I just didn't know what to do with them. Then there was the period where she would only send presents to her favorite one of our kids, and I had to deal with the inevitable tears over "why isn't there a present for me?" from the other kid. I know it could all be much worse, so I'm really not complaining. I was really mainly just curious if other people thought it was a weird gift, and to see what suggestions people had for how to deal with it.

And with that, I really hope this thread can now CLOSE...your point has been made, DCUM! By a vote of 99 to 4, apparently a comforter is considered a good gift by most people. So, get thee to a Bed Bath and Beyond and finish your holiday shopping!

I'm sorry for your family and for the pile-on, OP. Those of us who actually *read the thread* knew that this gift--while harmless as an object--was coming from an abusive person, thus prompting you to seek feedback/a gut check. Good luck, and take care.

Read the thread, people. If you can't be bothered, at least only chime in if you are saying something NEW instead of piling on.

Wait?? People are jerks because Op chose to leave all of these little details out about MIL? No, that is on Op - she chose not to mention that stuff and people were simply responding to "is this a bad gift".

FWIW, I had it all set up in my head that my kids were going to have Pottery Barn type bedspreads in their rooms. They would have looked so nice! I just couldn't justify the expense of the Pottery Barn bedspreads so I was happy when I saw some in Target that I liked. I was waiting for a sale when - my mom bought my kids bold, bright, loud, cartoon spreads. Yikes!! Not what I wanted at all but my kids LOVED them - they were exactly what my kids wanted in their rooms. And of course, they needed matching valances. Ugh.

Soooo, in one fell swoop my lovely Pottery Barn inspired kids rooms went to the land of Looney Tunes. I was pretty (but silently) unhappy about it. Now, I look back and laugh about it.

In the grand scheme of things we are lucky to have grandparents who love our kids so much.