This war on Participation Trophies is completely overblown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is not a good thing to award children for doing nothing. http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/03/09/parents-stop-overvaluing-your-kid-you-may-create-a-future-narcissist-study-says/

It's a participation trophy, not a nothing trophy.

You shouldn't get a trophy because your parents paid a fee and forced you into the car and said you have to stay for an hour and do whatever the activity is. And if you go enthusiastically, then your reward is the joy of the class and the knowledge you get from it. Your reward is being proud of yourself. Your reward is the confidence you gained from struggling and persevering and conquering a new skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is not a good thing to award children for doing nothing. http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/03/09/parents-stop-overvaluing-your-kid-you-may-create-a-future-narcissist-study-says/

It's a participation trophy, not a nothing trophy.

You shouldn't get a trophy because your parents paid a fee and forced you into the car and said you have to stay for an hour and do whatever the activity is. And if you go enthusiastically, then your reward is the joy of the class and the knowledge you get from it. Your reward is being proud of yourself. Your reward is the confidence you gained from struggling and persevering and conquering a new skill.

And the reward for winning is winning, so you shouldn't get a trophy for winning. Right?

[Anonymous]

I am OK with a participation certificate being given to all team members who satisfied the minimum requirements for being on the team. But trophies are tradtionally prizes given to a team/team members who enjoyed league or tournament success. I am not in favor of a trophy just for participating. There is not a darn thing wrong with the winners of a league getting a bigger prize - and most kids want it that way. I once coached an instructional league where score was not officially kept and we did not emphasize winning/losing. Yet every kid on that team knew the score and could tell you whether we won or lost a game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:be the coach and stop this insanity for your child and his/her friends.

+1

Kids, great job. See you next season!

no, don't +1. go volunteer, be the coach, then you can get rid of the trophy or whatever.

+1s on a message board mean nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only ones who thinknitis an actual award is the five to six year old set, and that is okay.

Why is that OK? I completely disagree with you. There is no reason to tell a five or six year old into thinking that s/he is a valuable member of the team if s/he has not put in the same amount of effort that other kids have. That's what participation trophies do. "You're all so special."

Guess what. Some of them are not. Some of them are painful brats who don't want to be there in the first place and make playing the game more difficult for other kids.

You're a gem, aren't you. When they're 5 or 6, sometimes those kids who "don't want to be there" are feeling really shy or anxious about trying something new. And getting out there and trying it *is* an accomplishment for them. When they're 9 or 10, it's different. But at that age they don't care about the participation trophy anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny...the biggest parent political issue I had as a coach was because I gave out participation trinkets. Some of the parents noted, rightfully so, that not all participation was equal. They asked why should a kid who misses half the practices get the same certificate as a kid who was at every practice and stays late. I really could not argue so I stopped giving them out.

What kind of a-hole parent complains about that? They really care that another kid got a certificate too? How pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

Don't forget about team parties too. After every darn season, there is a team party where we all have to stand around while the kids eat junk and receive more junk - and trophies too!

How is this new?! I am 35 and there were end of season parties for whatever sport or even activity you were doing that season. Unclench.

I am 41 and never had a team ending party each season. I honestly never remember a party after a sports season. Just a popsicle and some shout outs on the field when we were done. Now people rent rooms, go to restaurants, have BBQ's, pot lucks at parks etc... It is overblown big time.

I'm 40. I don't remember end of season parties, but I do remember participation trophies. Soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only ones who thinknitis an actual award is the five to six year old set, and that is okay.

Why is that OK? I completely disagree with you. There is no reason to tell a five or six year old into thinking that s/he is a valuable member of the team if s/he has not put in the same amount of effort that other kids have. That's what participation trophies do. "You're all so special."

Guess what. Some of them are not. Some of them are painful brats who don't want to be there in the first place and make playing the game more difficult for other kids.

You're a gem, aren't you. When they're 5 or 6, sometimes those kids who "don't want to be there" are feeling really shy or anxious about trying something new. And getting out there and trying it *is* an accomplishment for them. When they're 9 or 10, it's different. But at that age they don't care about the participation trophy anyway.

Ugh, not the PP but what a bunch of coddling mommies thinking their 5yr old should have a shelf of trophies for just being there. Stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny...the biggest parent political issue I had as a coach was because I gave out participation trinkets. Some of the parents noted, rightfully so, that not all participation was equal. They asked why should a kid who misses half the practices get the same certificate as a kid who was at every practice and stays late. I really could not argue so I stopped giving them out.

What kind of a-hole parent complains about that? They really care that another kid got a certificate too? How pathetic.

What values are we teaching our kids when the brat that complains, doesn't try, ignores the coach and rarely shows up deserves the same as everyone else? Kids catch on quicker than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

Don't forget about team parties too. After every darn season, there is a team party where we all have to stand around while the kids eat junk and receive more junk - and trophies too!

How is this new?! I am 35 and there were end of season parties for whatever sport or even activity you were doing that season. Unclench.

I never had team ending parties or trophies, in any sport. And guess what? We had cuts on teams too. It wasn't everybody gets a chance to be on a team which equals parents forcing kids who don't want to play HAVE to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is not a good thing to award children for doing nothing. http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/03/09/parents-stop-overvaluing-your-kid-you-may-create-a-future-narcissist-study-says/

It's a participation trophy, not a nothing trophy.

You shouldn't get a trophy because your parents paid a fee and forced you into the car and said you have to stay for an hour and do whatever the activity is. And if you go enthusiastically, then your reward is the joy of the class and the knowledge you get from it. Your reward is being proud of yourself. Your reward is the confidence you gained from struggling and persevering and conquering a new skill.

And the reward for winning is winning, so you shouldn't get a trophy for winning. Right?

Dude, I'd be totally fine with that. I'd be cool with only Olympians getting trophies.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I agree that kids get too much junk. that is a different discussion though. Sure, the trophies/ribbons contribute to the pile of junk, but that's not what the war on participation trophies is all about. I also agree that it's a waste of money for the organization. But that's their problem.

My point is that kids know the difference between a participation trophy and a competition trophy. It's not ruining them. Give them some credit. even when it's a competitive trophy, they know how much they really contributed. For some odd reason, my parents put me on a bowling league when I was in 4th grade. I happened to be on a really good team, but i was awful at bowling. We won first place. i was happy for my teammates, but that trophy meant nothing to me because I knew that we won in spite of me, not because of me. If I was able to figure that out, I'm pretty sure i was smart enough to realize that a participation award did not mean that I won.

If your kid walks away declaring he won because he got a participation trophy, then that's on you.

And it actually kind of is the same way in the "real world". generally, if I spend $200 on an activity or experience, I will walk away with something tangible. In fact, I spent just $40 to run a 10K last week. I left with a medal, t-shirt, and tote bag full of snacks, trinkets, and coupons. Yes, a 10K is an actual accomplishment, but I could have gotten all of that except the medal if I had just paid and shown up without even running.