This war on Participation Trophies is completely overblown.

[Anonymous]

First of all, participation trophies/ribbons/medals are nothing new. When I was a kid, I also typically received some sort of tangible recognition when I completed an activity. It's more of a keepsake than an award. I think most children know this. Also, it's usually stated in the team/class description when you sign your kid up that all participants will receive whatever, so it shouldn't be a surprise.

My kids have received their fair share of competitive awards as well as participation awards. Believe me, they KNOW the difference!

A couple of examples...

DD1 tried lots of activities throughout grade school. All on a recreational level. She received plenty of participation awards that she would bring home and display in her room. She wasn't under the impression that she had won anything, but was proud of herself for trying something new. Then she joined an actual competitive volleyball team in 5th grade. Her team WON 1st place. She wore that medal around her neck until she went to bed that night. And then she displayed it very prominently in her room. She certainly knew that that medal was different from all the others.

DD2 has all of her competitive awards displayed in her room. Her participation awards are in a box in her closet. She came across it recently and decided to look through it. She had fun remembering the activities and was proud that she has tried so many different things. Then she paused on a medal she got for tennis lessons and said "That was really fun. I forgot how much I liked tennis." And then she asked if she could take tennis lessons again.

I think there are a lot of problems with kids' sports right now. But sending them home with a memento is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

I agree.

[Anonymous]

The only ones who thinknitis an actual award is the five to six year old set, and that is okay.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I just do not care either way. When we get to this level of navel gazing, we need to step back and evaluate ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only ones who thinknitis an actual award is the five to six year old set, and that is okay.

Why is that OK? I completely disagree with you. There is no reason to tell a five or six year old into thinking that s/he is a valuable member of the team if s/he has not put in the same amount of effort that other kids have. That's what participation trophies do. "You're all so special."

Guess what. Some of them are not. Some of them are painful brats who don't want to be there in the first place and make playing the game more difficult for other kids.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mind if there were participation certificates given without much hoopla. The money spent on throw-away trophies is ridiculous. Leagues could fill a whole bin with that junk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only ones who thinknitis an actual award is the five to six year old set, and that is okay.

Why is that OK? I completely disagree with you. There is no reason to tell a five or six year old into thinking that s/he is a valuable member of the team if s/he has not put in the same amount of effort that other kids have. That's what participation trophies do. "You're all so special."

Guess what. Some of them are not. Some of them are painful brats who don't want to be there in the first place and make playing the game more difficult for other kids.

It's not really telling them "your so special." It's telling them that they showed up every Monday at 7:00 for 6 weeks just like all the other kids. so, just like every other kid, they get a memento.

I think the pp is saying that it's the 5-6 y.o. set that is proud of participating. Not that they think they won. at that age, they realize that trying something new is something to be proud of.

[Anonymous]

I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

Where do you live? Where I live, kids lose all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

OP here. I agree that kids need to learn how to lose. I just don't agree that participation trophies is the problem. Kids aren't idiots. They see that everyone got a trophy so they know they weren't the winner. I have a bigger issue with the fact that my kids got all the way through ES without ever racing their classmates. When dd was trying to decide whether or not to take track in MS, i found out that she had no idea if she was among the fastest or slowest in her ES class. I took track in MS because I knew that I was one of the fastest, so that was a talent I wanted to pursue. When we don't let kids compete, we don't let them discover their natural talents.

[Anonymous]

It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

OP here. I agree that kids need to learn how to lose. I just don't agree that participation trophies is the problem. Kids aren't idiots. They see that everyone got a trophy so they know they weren't the winner. I have a bigger issue with the fact that my kids got all the way through ES without ever racing their classmates. When dd was trying to decide whether or not to take track in MS, i found out that she had no idea if she was among the fastest or slowest in her ES class. I took track in MS because I knew that I was one of the fastest, so that was a talent I wanted to pursue. When we don't let kids compete, we don't let them discover their natural talents.

I think the bigger problem is that with the young kid set (ages 4 - about 6), it is the parents who are the idiots. They are the ones that make a big deal out of participation trophies, as though it means something.

To me, though, just showing up at practice and games for a few weeks is not enough to be rewarded with a trophy. That is the minimum required. So they tried something new -- do you want them to get a reward, thus having to be bribed, to do that every time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

Is this the only time your kids every play a game? No siblings? No friends? Parents never played a game? This is one small thing out of a lifetime. There are plenty of opportunities to win and to lose. This participation prize nonsense is not a big deal, either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just think kids don't learn how to lose anymore. Losing gracefully is a very important skill. In life you're rarely going to be #1 and that's okay. I think participation trophies take away the intrinsic knowledge that you tried something, it was fun and that that is enough.

OP here. I agree that kids need to learn how to lose. I just don't agree that participation trophies is the problem. Kids aren't idiots. They see that everyone got a trophy so they know they weren't the winner. I have a bigger issue with the fact that my kids got all the way through ES without ever racing their classmates. When dd was trying to decide whether or not to take track in MS, i found out that she had no idea if she was among the fastest or slowest in her ES class. I took track in MS because I knew that I was one of the fastest, so that was a talent I wanted to pursue. When we don't let kids compete, we don't let them discover their natural talents.

What was your child doing during recess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.