This war on Participation Trophies is completely overblown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think if we are throwing around words like "child abuse", then yes, the OP is pretty solid in the point that this is overblown.

Get a grip. Its gross to even bring up the words child abuse in trying to make one's point about this frivolity.

Agree!! It isn't the kids that are the problem, it are the parents that WANT the trophies.

[Anonymous]

Funny...the biggest parent political issue I had as a coach was because I gave out participation trinkets. Some of the parents noted, rightfully so, that not all participation was equal. They asked why should a kid who misses half the practices get the same certificate as a kid who was at every practice and stays late. I really could not argue so I stopped giving them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids weren't great swimmers but we woke up every morning for most of the summer at 6 AM in order to be in the pool at 7. They got in the water when it was cold. They couldn't go on sleep overs because they had to be in the pool the next morning. Everybody on the swim team worked hard. Honestly, I think everyone should have gotten a participation trophy and we could have all done without the bowing and scraping to Big Athletic Kid who made a production about getting the same damned MVP trophy he gets every single year, all proudly filmed by Big Athletic Dad. The kids who really don't need trophies are the athletes. They already know they're the best, and they get lots of accolades every time they play, and they definitely don't need the self-esteem boost (nor do their dads).

My pet peeve is that you can get a trophy for showing up at soccer but if you do well on your SAT's you're not supposed to talk about it because it will make Big Athletic Kid and his Big Athletic Dad feel bad. What's that all about?

Sounds like you have some issues with athletes and you really don't get the meaning of trophies, which are by definition prizes given in recognition of victory or success. They're not self-esteem boosters. And a "participation trophy," unless it is given to members of a team that won a competition, is a contradiction in terms. My kids have been on the swim team since they were 8. Somehow they've survived the early mornings, cold water, decreased sleepovers AND other kids getting the MVP trophies in that sport well into their high school years. They've swum enough races to realize that not everyone can be first or the best, but being part of a team and working hard are still worth it. I'll take that lesson any day over a hunk of medal that means nothing. It also means that much more to them when they do participate in something where they excel.

btw, hear plenty of parents talking about how their kids did on their SATs, so I guess I've missed that ban. I don't think it's right for kids to brag, but trust me, everyone knows who the Big Brain is just like they know who the Big Athletic kid is.

+1 in fact, I find these parents even worse - at least up until middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i agree that the participation awards themselves aren't the real problem. I'm in my early 40s and we got them back in the day. But i knew that trophy didn't mean I was the best swimmer. I was a pretty shitty swimmer. But I put in the work and showed up at meets and practices, so it was recognition of that. I was under no illusion that it meant I was the best at anything or that it really was a prize.

In certain settings, showing up and trying hard IS good enough and should be encouraged. that should be the nature of rec leagues -- anyone can play, as long as they do the work. For more competitive and elite leagues, that's not the case.

I feel like there are subtleties being lost in this debate and it comes down to expectations and messaging.

I agree.

I got a participation trophy once for a rec league activity. It was the only trophy I've ever gotten for anything. As a kid, I sucked at everything except academics and art, I knew it, and I felt bad about it. I knew my trophy didn't represent a major accomplishment, but it was fun to get it. It made me feel in a small way like "the other kids"--kids who did activities, kids who didn't suck at everything. So to some kids, these trophies may actually have meaning, either as acknowledgement of effort or as mementos. They won't mean much to really competitive or more skilled kids, but those kids will get other awards.

[Anonymous]

As I understand it -- I actually find that I agree with Harrison in this particular instance. As an aside -- Harrison does not appear to be very likeable. It sounds like these were trophies given out to kids who attended a week long sports camp. I find that to be more of a marketing item than a participation award. And, I certainly would not equate it to a trophy given out after a 6 - 10 week sports season where kids were coming to regular practices and games. A memento trophy or medal given to young kids for playing on a team over the course of season is absolutely fine. A trophy given to every kid for coming to a week long sports camp - not so much.

Either way thought the proper parent response would be to not say anything publicly and deal with it how you wanted to at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i agree that the participation awards themselves aren't the real problem. I'm in my early 40s and we got them back in the day. But i knew that trophy didn't mean I was the best swimmer. I was a pretty shitty swimmer. But I put in the work and showed up at meets and practices, so it was recognition of that. I was under no illusion that it meant I was the best at anything or that it really was a prize.

In certain settings, showing up and trying hard IS good enough and should be encouraged. that should be the nature of rec leagues -- anyone can play, as long as they do the work. For more competitive and elite leagues, that's not the case.

I feel like there are subtleties being lost in this debate and it comes down to expectations and messaging.

I agree.

I got a participation trophy once for a rec league activity. It was the only trophy I've ever gotten for anything. As a kid, I sucked at everything except academics and art, I knew it, and I felt bad about it. I knew my trophy didn't represent a major accomplishment, but it was fun to get it. It made me feel in a small way like "the other kids"--kids who did activities, kids who didn't suck at everything. So to some kids, these trophies may actually have meaning, either as acknowledgement of effort or as mementos. They won't mean much to really competitive or more skilled kids, but those kids will get other awards.

Thanks for sharing this. A very valid perspective I didn't consider. Perhaps doing it only at younger ages is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

[Anonymous]

fucking waste of money, especially if they're getting trashed later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i agree that the participation awards themselves aren't the real problem. I'm in my early 40s and we got them back in the day. But i knew that trophy didn't mean I was the best swimmer. I was a pretty shitty swimmer. But I put in the work and showed up at meets and practices, so it was recognition of that. I was under no illusion that it meant I was the best at anything or that it really was a prize.

In certain settings, showing up and trying hard IS good enough and should be encouraged. that should be the nature of rec leagues -- anyone can play, as long as they do the work. For more competitive and elite leagues, that's not the case.

I feel like there are subtleties being lost in this debate and it comes down to expectations and messaging.

I agree.

I got a participation trophy once for a rec league activity. It was the only trophy I've ever gotten for anything. As a kid, I sucked at everything except academics and art, I knew it, and I felt bad about it. I knew my trophy didn't represent a major accomplishment, but it was fun to get it. It made me feel in a small way like "the other kids"--kids who did activities, kids who didn't suck at everything. So to some kids, these trophies may actually have meaning, either as acknowledgement of effort or as mementos. They won't mean much to really competitive or more skilled kids, but those kids will get other awards.

But kids these days get them EVERY season for EVERY sport. So if you play on MSI soccer twice a year, that is 2 trophies a year just for signing up and maybe playing a few games. So honestly, it isn't fun to get, even for the kids who aren't athletic. There may be a mild euphoria for your first one but around here it starts at 3yrs old when kids don't even understand it. It is completely overblown. I much rather have a coach tell my child two things. Their best attribute towards the team and the one thing they can work on for next season. It doesn't need to be in front of the team but one on one where it matters and you can be told the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

Don't forget about team parties too. After every darn season, there is a team party where we all have to stand around while the kids eat junk and receive more junk - and trophies too!

[Anonymous]

be the coach and stop this insanity for your child and his/her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:be the coach and stop this insanity for your child and his/her friends.

+1

Kids, great job. See you next season!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

Don't forget about team parties too. After every darn season, there is a team party where we all have to stand around while the kids eat junk and receive more junk - and trophies too!

How is this new?! I am 35 and there were end of season parties for whatever sport or even activity you were doing that season. Unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the junk I can't stand. Crappy trophies that don't mean anything, junky party favors, toys for everything. Our kids get too much "stuff" all day, all the time.

A certificate is fine. It's recyclable.

That's my problem with it too -- paying good money for stuff that is first clutter and then garbage.

+1

I have a war on crap, period. Party goody bags, excessive numbers of school parties, etc. I let my son bring this shit home b/c I'm not going to be confrontational, but all of the pencils/erasers go to charities for kids who need school supplies and all of the candy gets collected and dumped at work. Any cheap plastic toys from exploited Chinese labor go immediately in the trash or recycling bin if possible once they are forgotten about. But what I hate most is my kid being conditioned to expect this shit all the time and from everywhere. When I was a kid I was excited just to eat a cupcake at a birthday party. I didn't expect a freaking present too.

+1,000
My daughter got to choose her birthday party this year:
2 friends with gifts or 10 friends and no gifts. We had this discussion while cleaning her room and discovering past birthday presents never used, collecting dust under her bed.

We're also looking to a Xmas "experience" with very few gifts.

Don't forget about team parties too. After every darn season, there is a team party where we all have to stand around while the kids eat junk and receive more junk - and trophies too!

How is this new?! I am 35 and there were end of season parties for whatever sport or even activity you were doing that season. Unclench.

I am 41 and never had a team ending party each season. I honestly never remember a party after a sports season. Just a popsicle and some shout outs on the field when we were done. Now people rent rooms, go to restaurants, have BBQ's, pot lucks at parks etc... It is overblown big time.