HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone think of something to do that will make this more "real" to the kids than a memorial by the side of the road? What can one possibly do to have this terrible accident serve as a deterrent to other kids? other parents who condone drinking? Is there anything?

Our HS put the mangled car on the front lawn of the school.

So did ours.

[Anonymous]

Thing is, the kids think if their parents can drink and drive, why can't they.
There's a reason I don't drink and drive. Ever.

It's a often a tricky thing to know how much you can drink, and then drive perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver had an alcohol citation in March and another in ocean city earlier this month. It makes me ill he still had access to a car.

Exactly.

Yep. Rich parents with $$$ to throw at the kids.
So selfish of them.

Actually, the dad would come to the school all the time and take his car while he was in class. He would walk out after school and find his car gone and ask to get a ride home. He had his cell phone taken away, car, etc. The parents tried. Not sure what happened after the citation in OC. Maybe the parents hadn't learned about it yet.

Before you start calling them "elitist, rich ass parents" please remember they, as all of you, have only so much control over the decisions our teenage children make. Also remember, their son has a serious brain injury, killed two other children's parents, and will be in jail for a long, long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone think of something to do that will make this more "real" to the kids than a memorial by the side of the road? What can one possibly do to have this terrible accident serve as a deterrent to other kids? other parents who condone drinking? Is there anything?

Put the car in front of the school along with details about the crash including not wearing seat belts.

Leave it there for the first week of school.

Then move it to other schools in the area.

Include pictures of the boys killed and a description of their goals and dreams.

That is what I would do.

Exactly this is done every year at every high school in the area. It's sponsored by SADD, among others, I'm sure.
You don't understand the teenage brain even though you had one once.

These boys are their classmates and friends. It will make an impact, especially while it is so fresh.

No it won't. A classmate of the drunk girl who split her brand new beamer in half in 1995 killing one passenger and paralyzing another made a PSA with actual footage of kids from the same h.s. getting really drunk at parties. You can bet the odds that there weren't designated drivers, just kids who were lucky they weren't in a horrific crash.

We will never know the how many kids drive home drunk. The kids who get the message are the ones who don't get into a car with a driver who is drunk. However, if you're drinking as well your judgement might not be the best.

It boggles the mind that the parents of Sam Ellis allowed their son to continue to drive when this wasn't the first time he drove drunk. Yes, he'd gotten some citations. But what about all the times he drove home drunk from a party--the times he wasn't caught?

I doubt even if the kids were wearing seatbelts that they would have survived the mangled rubble of the car that went air born, hit a tree and flipped. Yes, there will probably be lawsuits for the party hosts and the parents of the driver. Cold comfort--it won't bring the dead back.

+1 to all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver had an alcohol citation in March and another in ocean city earlier this month. It makes me ill he still had access to a car.

Exactly.

Yep. Rich parents with $$$ to throw at the kids.
So selfish of them.

Actually, the dad would come to the school all the time and take his car while he was in class. He would walk out after school and find his car gone and ask to get a ride home. He had his cell phone taken away, car, etc. The parents tried. Not sure what happened after the citation in OC. Maybe the parents hadn't learned about it yet.

Before you start calling them "elitist, rich ass parents" please remember they, as all of you, have only so much control over the decisions our teenage children make. Also remember, their son has a serious brain injury, killed two other children's parents, and will be in jail for a long, long time.

Are th parents divorced? Just wondering how the kid got the car to school in the first place if he wasn't supposed to have the car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thing is, the kids think if their parents can drink and drive, why can't they.
There's a reason I don't drink and drive. Ever.

It's a often a tricky thing to know how much you can drink, and then drive perfectly.

DH and I are the same: we never ever drink and drive. Not one drink. When the teens are out, I don't drink at home in case one of them calls for an unplanned ride home (times when they've gotten in a situation where they realize they shouldn't be).

[Anonymous]

My child doesn't drink, but I worry that she won't be comfortable taking a taxi or Uber when her friends tell her they are fine to drive. We have not had this situation come up -- yet, but I'm sure it will. Neither DH or I drink. We have several alcoholics in the family, and a family member died of a drug overdose, so our kids know they are at risk for alcoholism.

But peer pressure is intense. I can't say what my child will do in a marginal situation, especially when she goes to college this fall. I hope she'll use her credit card and call a cab, or have at least one friend who doesn't drink with her.

Modeling no drinking at home does send a powerful message to kids. The kids whose parents drink the most also drink the most in my experience.

We don't restrict our kids from drinking or pretty much anything else. We talk about the dangers, and we don't drink or use drugs ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Re: Mashed car in the parking lot.

It won't work. Want to know why? Because Wootton did it this year for the first time in four years. They try to do it every four years so that it is "new" to a whole different group of students. The Grim Reaper goes around and picks certain students from the student body and it is supposed to signify that the student died from drinking and driving.

Sam Ellis, the driver, was one of the students chosen by the Grim Reaper this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver had an alcohol citation in March and another in ocean city earlier this month. It makes me ill he still had access to a car.

Exactly.

Alcohol citation, or a drinking and driving citation?

Does it matter. He's underaged and drinking in public. Yet still allowed to drive a car.

George Huguely was charged with underage possession of alcohol and arrested for public drunkenness and resisting arrest. Although in his case, he beat someone to death and didn't use a car to kill his victim.

Being an alarmist is not going to add to the conversation.

Yes. It matters, there's is a huge difference between drinking and driving and drinking. There is a huge difference in drinking and resisting arrest.

You are completely out of touch if you think it is rare or a terrible child that get a drinking violation.

You completely missed the point. Huguely has a pattern of alcohol abuse well known by parents and coaches. Parents who turn a blind eye to drinking are as culpable whether their child beats someone to death or drives a car into a tree. Maybe Yeardley Love, Calvin Li, and Alex Murk would be alive today if a responsible adult in Huguely or Ellis' life had stepped in.

You completely missed the point. People have all kinds of "patterns" and nothing horrible happens. You are comparing apples to oranges.

[Anonymous]

I always thought it's crazy to give your kid a car. They should earn every dime for it.

Did his mother give him the car?

[Anonymous]

You completely missed the point. Huguely has a pattern of alcohol abuse well known by parents and coaches. Parents who turn a blind eye to drinking are as culpable whether their child beats someone to death or drives a car into a tree. Maybe Yeardley Love, Calvin Li, and Alex Murk would be alive today if a responsible adult in Huguely or Ellis' life had stepped in.

Actually parents see and hear what they want to see. What we never ever understood was not only how George Huegley's parents did not see his pattern of drunken, destrictive behavior was way out of control, BUT also how Yardley Love's Mother never ever has once said in print at least what her reaction was and what she told her daughter when the North Carolina lacrosse player actually took the time to drive her to her home in Maryland from a party after seeing how she was being treated one night by Huegley. It is essential that parents of both the boys and the girls discuss and look for the signs of not only drinking, but violent tendencies with or without drinking on both sides of relationship.

The police were begging for information about the party and the parents' role so they could move forward in the investigation, but it seems like there is a circle of silence - not so different from the other side of the tracks if but for more violent crimes. Still a life is lost in both manners and those who may have contributed to it, should be held accountable.

[Anonymous]

These kids were not out of control, they were good kids who made terrible decisions that night that resulted in a horrific, deadly accident.

What I don't understand is why everyone protecting the homeowner of the underage drinking party and the person that supplied the alcohol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These kids were not out of control, they were good kids who made terrible decisions that night that resulted in a horrific, deadly accident.

What I don't understand is why everyone protecting the homeowner of the underage drinking party and the person that supplied the alcohol?

Not out of control? Is driving over 100 mph on that road not considered to be "out of control"

What evidence do you have that people are protecting the homeowner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These kids were not out of control, they were good kids who made terrible decisions that night that resulted in a horrific, deadly accident.

What I don't understand is why everyone protecting the homeowner of the underage drinking party and the person that supplied the alcohol?

I get it. He who casts the first stone, but for the grace of God, and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were not out of control, they were good kids who made terrible decisions that night that resulted in a horrific, deadly accident.

What I don't understand is why everyone protecting the homeowner of the underage drinking party and the person that supplied the alcohol?

Not out of control? Is driving over 100 mph on that road not considered to be "out of control"

What evidence do you have that people are protecting the homeowner?

Is 100mph verified?
I know they weren't going 30, but 100?