Mom, we must be rich right? How to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I guess I really don't feel comfortable with how to talk about wealth and I'm looking for some tips. Dh and I gre up middle class and we are doing quite well. I usually say stuff like "dad and I work very hard. If you study hard and get a good job you will be able to afford what you want to buy." I don't want our kids thinking this is the norm.

Say the bolded part.

Especially if you add "We happen to have jobs that pay us a lot of money. There are a lot of people who work very, very hard and still don't make very much money. Yes, we're lucky, and that's why we make sure to share our good fortune with others."

Winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father answered this with "we are fortunate, but we are better than no one." 20 years later I still remember it.

Wow. I am tucking that away should I need it someday. Sometimes the littlest things make the biggest impact.

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old said to me - Mommy, we're rich aren't we?

I just said that we're not rich, but we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies and that was what mattered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father answered this with "we are fortunate, but we are better than no one." 20 years later I still remember it.

Wow. I am tucking that away should I need it someday. Sometimes the littlest things make the biggest impact.

This is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father answered this with "we are fortunate, but we are better than no one." 20 years later I still remember it.

Wow. I am tucking that away should I need it someday. Sometimes the littlest things make the biggest impact.

This is awesome.

I like this too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! We keep my kids in the dark. They are living in a $1.5 million home--with another one in the city-- but it's smaller and close-in. I drive a 10-year old Honda that my son tells me I should get rid of on a daily basis. I explain to him how expensive cars are, etc.

My boys think my sibling's family that lives 45 min away--outside the Beltway are loaded because their house is so large in comparison. Yet- they paid 1/8 for it.

I think this is the best for them. They have friends that brag about what their parents buy them and the parents brag about their $$$.

DH and I want to raise down-to-earth, non-entitled children. My biggest fear is they grow up like some of the kids I know that were raised with lots of $ and had zero desire to make anything of themselves in life.

My kids do chores, have an allowance and no how little a dollar is worth. They are taught to save, not spend. Material items don't buy happiness, etc.

It feels like an uphill battle sometimes when they come home from school and tell me somebody got $25 from the tooth fairy last night. WTF?!!?!!

My kids feel safe and have all the creature comforts and we do take some very nice vacations--but other than that they have to work for things.

Sadly, I can beat that. My kid has a classmate who gets $100 a tooth! Sick materialistic culture,sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

[Anonymous]

Unless your children are feature here YOU ARE NOT RICH

http://richkidsofinstagram.tumblr.com/

http://www.businessinsider.com/rich-babies-of-instagram-2015-5?op=1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

Since it's what they value (time with me), it makes sense for my family. Didn't mean to convey the message you took from what I said I share with my children. Not working is a luxury, one that was only realized through an awful lot of hard work. They are just old enough to remember when I did work, that transition and what it meant for our family. It was one example, I could have mentioned the artwork or the travel, but me being home is the most immediate and constant reminder of the privilege we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

I thought the same thing. The whole post is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

I thought the same thing. The whole post is crazy.

So, what do you do? Offer an alternative along with your critique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

Since it's what they value (time with me), it makes sense for my family. Didn't mean to convey the message you took from what I said I share with my children. Not working is a luxury, one that was only realized through an awful lot of hard work. They are just old enough to remember when I did work, that transition and what it meant for our family. It was one example, I could have mentioned the artwork or the travel, but me being home is the most immediate and constant reminder of the privilege we have.

This makes perfect sense to me. I work part-time, which is absolutely a luxury and a choice, and that's how I talk about it with my kids. I also discuss it in terms of choices - I work part-time, which lets us do this and that after-school activity together, but which also means that we cannot do this other thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the best way to address class issues with a 6 year old? His observation is true.

"Yes, sweetie, we are very lucky to have all that we need. Others aren't so fortunate. Is there anything you want to talk about, any questions?"

I think it's a great opportunity to talk about a whole host of things. I've had to introduce the idea of privilege to my own children, who are barely school-age. It's part of our family practice of gratitude. It's also an expansion of our guiding principle of making good choices. Just because we have the ability to do certain things---I dunno, buy 100 bey blades or action figures----doesn't mean that we do. We put our money into what we value, and aren't we lucky? Mommy gets to stay home because we have the money to allow for this luxury. Doing well at school and working together as a family are what helped us, what created this situation. Having enough money to be comfortable doesn't mean we don't have responsibilities. You have to work hard at school and continue to make good choices, honey. Remember that not everybody has choices and that life can be very hard for a lot of people.

I haven't looked through all of the responses. I hope that it's been constructive.

Compassion, hard work, unity---these are all meaningful words. I hope you're able to use this as an entry point for a terrific, life-long conversation about social justice.

What a weird message for a kid. You are basically telling your kid that you are richer and luckier than families where the mom works.

It's also pretty ironic that someone who touts hard work as a way to wealth doesn't work (at least not for pay).

I thought the same thing. The whole post is crazy.

So, what do you do? Offer an alternative along with your critique.

"Why do you think we're rich, DS?"
"What does it mean to you to be rich?"

then LISTEN!!

correct any misperceptions, like rich = more cars, complete set of legos, etc

and finally explain that rich is a feeling, not a fact. if you have more than people around you you feel rich, if you have less, you feel poor.

then if they are still listening, which they probably are not, impart desired values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I guess I really don't feel comfortable with how to talk about wealth and I'm looking for some tips. Dh and I gre up middle class and we are doing quite well. I usually say stuff like "dad and I work very hard. If you study hard and get a good job you will be able to afford what you want to buy." I don't want our kids thinking this is the norm.

This is troubling to me. Many poor people work very hard and study hard and are not able to afford what they want. You have been lucky and privileged in addition to working really hard. When you're talking with your son, I would acknowledge that you are wealthier than the vast majority of families. That's because you were very lucky in where you were born, where you got to go to school, and many opportunities you had for your hard work to translate into very well paying jobs. I think combining appreciation for your privilege with self-congratulation for your hard work is a really good combination.