Mom, we must be rich right? How to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Yes, Billy, we are very fortunate that your Dad and I both make a lot of money. Why do you ask?"

Don't tell him you're not rich if you are, or that anyone can be rich or "buy everything they need" if they work hard. Both are untrue.

+1

I have no idea why people like that Cosby quote. It makes the child sound like he is not part of the family. Why do both the parents have money and teh kid nothing? Unless they are both making the same, large salaries that's a terrible exclusionary thing, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I guess I really don't feel comfortable with how to talk about wealth and I'm looking for some tips. Dh and I gre up middle class and we are doing quite well. I usually say stuff like "dad and I work very hard. If you study hard and get a good job you will be able to afford what you want to buy." I don't want our kids thinking this is the norm.

Say the bolded part.

but this is a lie!

[Anonymous]

"Yes, we have a lot more money than a lot of people people. We work hard in our jobs, andalso had some good luck along the way too. We're very lucky in that way, and that we're able to do XY and Z for you."

This is the message I received growing up, and all my siblings and I grew up very grounded and compassionate. My parents also emphasized the value of doing good over earning money, and valuing the non-monetary gifts life brings (friends, family, nature, the chance to make the world better for others).

[Anonymous]

Here is the Cosby clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO35dhxNjYI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Yes, we have a lot more money than a lot of people people. We work hard in our jobs, andalso had some good luck along the way too. We're very lucky in that way, and that we're able to do XY and Z for you."

This is the message I received growing up, and all my siblings and I grew up very grounded and compassionate. My parents also emphasized the value of doing good over earning money, and valuing the non-monetary gifts life brings (friends, family, nature, the chance to make the world better for others).

+1

[Anonymous]

OP you might be interested in Ron Lieber (http://ronlieber.com) and his book The Opposite of Spoiled. I like his approach to talking to kids about money and I got a lot of good tips from his book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you might be interested in Ron Lieber (http://ronlieber.com) and his book The Opposite of Spoiled. I like his approach to talking to kids about money and I got a lot of good tips from his book.

I was just about to recommend that book.

[Anonymous]

My answer:
"Why does it matter? What or how much you have is not nearly as important as what you do with it and how you treat others. A good person is far richer than a person with a lot of money."

[Anonymous]

That is a logical deduction, son. You are lucky to have belongings and opportunities that many do not have, be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Funny, my son comes home thinking we are poor. Scary, because while not rich by this area's measure, we are in the top 5% as far as income goes.

I tell him there will always be people who have more than us, and always people who have less. We are very lucky to be able to buy everything we need and a good bit of what we want.

[Anonymous]

Only a rich person would come up with an answer that equates working hard with being rich.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I guess I really don't feel comfortable with how to talk about wealth and I'm looking for some tips. Dh and I gre up middle class and we are doing quite well. I usually say stuff like "dad and I work very hard. If you study hard and get a good job you will be able to afford what you want to buy." I don't want our kids thinking this is the norm.

Seriously? You teach your kids you are rich because you work hard? Rather than teaching about luck, privilege, there but for the grace of God go I? To whom much is given much is required?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. I guess I really don't feel comfortable with how to talk about wealth and I'm looking for some tips. Dh and I gre up middle class and we are doing quite well. I usually say stuff like "dad and I work very hard. If you study hard and get a good job you will be able to afford what you want to buy." I don't want our kids thinking this is the norm.

Say the bolded part.

Especially if you add "We happen to have jobs that pay us a lot of money. There are a lot of people who work very, very hard and still don't make very much money. Yes, we're lucky, and that's why we make sure to share our good fortune with others."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is an innocent 6 year old thinking about this? Wealth should not be on your child's radar.

Children are more perceptive than you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not all that important how you answer his question, or the semantics you use. What matters is how you and your partner treat others and what you expect of your children in terms of humility and respect for people who are different from you for whatever reasons.

I went to school with plenty of rich people's children. Some are raised to think they are entitled to everything and don't have to earn a thing. Others are raised with strong values and expectations not just for their achievement and professional success, but for their character. Richest girl I knew in school had 30 horses at the family ranch in her home country. Family was delightful, made everyone feel warmly welcome in their home. She grew up to be a doctor who cares for poor patients. I doubt the answers her parents gave to questions about their status influenced the person she is as much as the way they lived their lives.

+1