Mom, we must be rich right? How to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have some humility.

Do you live in a $17 million dollar house and have your own private jet?

Thats rich.

This is one of the most pernicious elements of America's obsession with being "middle class." No one thinks they are rich, because everyone knows someone richer than them. The reason this is so harmful is because, if the rich truly believe they are middle class, then they also think they earned everything they have. They can't see their own privilege, just because there's a stockbroker or a law partner or lobbyist at their kids' school that is wealthier than they are.

This is the attitude many of us are trying to avoid, by actively talking about privilege, and relative wealth. Because so many kids (especially in the DCUM demographic) were born on 3rd, thought they hit a triple, and can't understand why others can't just bootstrap themselves around the bases.

Honestly, I beg to differ. People who are truly, truly rich - and keep their wealth for generations - do not talk about being rich. Not on anonymous websites, not in person, and not to their kids. They just don't.

If you don't want your kids to be spoiled, don't spoil them. Don't live in a fancy house. Don't buy a lot of stuff. Don't spend your money. (btw, this is also how can you can stay rich).

Actually not all. DH and I both have wealth from generations of wealth. I post on DCUM all the time and when the subject of wealth comes up I post about it. The circles we run in, money and wealth actually comes up quite a bit. Most are obsessed with it. New and old money.

I don't think you are coming across the way you think you are, either in real life on in your post. Also, i guarantee your grandparents and great grandparents would be appalled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have some humility.

Do you live in a $17 million dollar house and have your own private jet?

Thats rich.

This is one of the most pernicious elements of America's obsession with being "middle class." No one thinks they are rich, because everyone knows someone richer than them. The reason this is so harmful is because, if the rich truly believe they are middle class, then they also think they earned everything they have. They can't see their own privilege, just because there's a stockbroker or a law partner or lobbyist at their kids' school that is wealthier than they are.

This is the attitude many of us are trying to avoid, by actively talking about privilege, and relative wealth. Because so many kids (especially in the DCUM demographic) were born on 3rd, thought they hit a triple, and can't understand why others can't just bootstrap themselves around the bases.

+1000 heartily agree!!!!

[Anonymous]

To whom much is given, much will be required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately people are confusing class with money. The two do not always go hand-in-hand, especially in the USA.

"Money can't buy you claaaaasss." 10 points to name that author!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately people are confusing class with money. The two do not always go hand-in-hand, especially in the USA.

"Money can't buy you claaaaasss." 10 points to name that author!

Never count out the Countess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have some humility.

Do you live in a $17 million dollar house and have your own private jet?

Thats rich.

This is one of the most pernicious elements of America's obsession with being "middle class." No one thinks they are rich, because everyone knows someone richer than them. The reason this is so harmful is because, if the rich truly believe they are middle class, then they also think they earned everything they have. They can't see their own privilege, just because there's a stockbroker or a law partner or lobbyist at their kids' school that is wealthier than they are.

This is the attitude many of us are trying to avoid, by actively talking about privilege, and relative wealth. Because so many kids (especially in the DCUM demographic) were born on 3rd, thought they hit a triple, and can't understand why others can't just bootstrap themselves around the bases.

Honestly, I beg to differ. People who are truly, truly rich - and keep their wealth for generations - do not talk about being rich. Not on anonymous websites, not in person, and not to their kids. They just don't.

If you don't want your kids to be spoiled, don't spoil them. Don't live in a fancy house. Don't buy a lot of stuff. Don't spend your money. (btw, this is also how can you can stay rich).

Actually not all. DH and I both have wealth from generations of wealth. I post on DCUM all the time and when the subject of wealth comes up I post about it. The circles we run in, money and wealth actually comes up quite a bit. Most are obsessed with it. New and old money.

I don't think you are coming across the way you think you are, either in real life on in your post. Also, i guarantee your grandparents and great grandparents would be appalled.

Okay. Whatever you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Yes, Billy, we are very fortunate that your Dad and I both make a lot of money. Why do you ask?"

Don't tell him you're not rich if you are, or that anyone can be rich or "buy everything they need" if they work hard. Both are untrue.

+1

I have no idea why people like that Cosby quote. It makes the child sound like he is not part of the family. Why do both the parents have money and teh kid nothing? Unless they are both making the same, large salaries that's a terrible exclusionary thing, sorry.

This, so much this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm. How about a flat out "Grown ups don't talk to kids about grown up money. You have all the things you need and you are very lucky."

He will persist. You repeat. Shift the conversation into "People can do three things with money; spend on things you need and a few you want, and if you are lucky to have some left over you should save some of it. If you're lucky to have even more leftover you can share some to help other people."

That's all I tell my kid about money right now.

Your canned line about working hard = payday is totally offensive. If you think and teach that simply working hard earns one wealth or guaranteed comfort, you're setting your kid up to believe a fallacy and potentially confuse or offend the garbage man's kid. Truth is he will probably be rich because you are, but he'll know that on his own one day. For now, shut the talk down.

Personally, I think this is horrible. Why would you not start an adult out with a good sense of budget and want vs. need? That's built when kids watch parents, ask questions and are given answers. My mother had us start helping with balancing the checkbook when we were in 2nd grade; I started letting kids help when they can consistently add and subtract 2 digit and 3 digit numbers.

So do I. I want my children to come to their father and me with questions, not having them keep things going round and round in their heads. And telling a child "Grownups don't talk to children about whatever" is the perfect way to get that result.

[Anonymous]

As Cliff Huxtable hustabl e said to son Theo, " "I'm rich. You're not."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Umm. How about a flat out "Grown ups don't talk to kids about grown up money. You have all the things you need and you are very lucky."

He will persist. You repeat. Shift the conversation into "People can do three things with money; spend on things you need and a few you want, and if you are lucky to have some left over you should save some of it. If you're lucky to have even more leftover you can share some to help other people."

That's all I tell my kid about money right now.

Your canned line about working hard = payday is totally offensive. If you think and teach that simply working hard earns one wealth or guaranteed comfort, you're setting your kid up to believe a fallacy and potentially confuse or offend the garbage man's kid. Truth is he will probably be rich because you are, but he'll know that on his own one day. For now, shut the talk down.

Personally, I think this is horrible. Why would you not start an adult out with a good sense of budget and want vs. need? That's built when kids watch parents, ask questions and are given answers. My mother had us start helping with balancing the checkbook when we were in 2nd grade; I started letting kids help when they can consistently add and subtract 2 digit and 3 digit numbers.

So do I. I want my children to come to their father and me with questions, not having them keep things going round and round in their heads. And telling a child "Grownups don't talk to children about whatever" is the perfect way to get that result.

We are not rich so we are not answering that question- but we do say when DS talks about money and wanting money (he's only 6 and likes money), we say if he studies and does well in school he will have *more options*.. we don't say he'll rake in the bucks..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As Cliff Huxtable hustabl e said to son Theo, " "I'm rich. You're not."

We tell DS that he better do well in school and work hard if he wants to go to the same Ivy as his daddy, grandpa, etc. and become a banker like his forebears. DS is only 7 but we are old money and believe in planning ahead.

[Anonymous]

For all those PPs patting themselves on the back for their hard work:

http://thewireless.co.nz/articles/the-pencilsword-on-a-plate