When did you realize your SO was wealthy?

[Anonymous]

billion or million, pp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When he took me on a date, keeping the location secret. He met me at my modest house, and brought me a formal little black dress in a pink box with a bow on it. He asked if I would put it on, he had somewhere special to take me. After driving twenty minutes or so, he pulled over and asked me to wear his tie around my eyes and no peeking!! He stopped shortly after and lead me to a place that seemed dark and first then bright. Then, I heard waves crashing.

He pulled off the tie and I was aboard his yacht that was docked awaiting me. He asked me if I was hungry and lead me to the bright lights of his cabin he had decorated and had dinner awaiting us with wine chilled by the table. He asked me to marry him. 15 years later with two kids I am one lucky woman!

Thank you PP. That just gave me such a good chuckle.

[Anonymous]

First realization, when I found a five-figure gift check from a relative on the counter at his place, waiting to be cashed. And it wasn't even the check, so much as how blasé he was about it.

Second (full) realization, when we were staying at his relative's home and I needed to do some work, and they sent me to a spare office. A spare office that had bank statements on the desk (I guess they'd forgotten they were there?? or didn't care).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I first realized that my SO was wealthy when I interviewed him for my college newspaper as a favor to a friend who was too sick to conduct the interview herself. It didn't really sink in until he bought me a laptop and a bunch of other expensive technology, as well as the publishing company I'd recently begun working for.

Our relationship is pretty dysfunctional, though.

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When he took me on a date, keeping the location secret. He met me at my modest house, and brought me a formal little black dress in a pink box with a bow on it. He asked if I would put it on, he had somewhere special to take me. After driving twenty minutes or so, he pulled over and asked me to wear his tie around my eyes and no peeking!! He stopped shortly after and lead me to a place that seemed dark and first then bright. Then, I heard waves crashing.

He pulled off the tie and I was aboard his yacht that was docked awaiting me. He asked me if I was hungry and lead me to the bright lights of his cabin he had decorated and had dinner awaiting us with wine chilled by the table. He asked me to marry him. 15 years later with two kids I am one lucky woman!

Assuming this is true, I don't really understand it. If he kept his money a secret all that time, why choose to reveal it like that when he proposed? Why not do it in a mature conversation about money and the future? I admit to cringing a bit when I read this because it felt to me like he was somehow trying to buy you, like you might not say yes, or at least might not realize just how lucky you were that he was proposing, if he didn't dazzle you with his wealth. Wouldn't you still be a lucky woman after 15 years and two kids if he didn't have all of that money?

Yes, I would be lucky no matter his assets or lack thereof. I understand your concerns but we manage just fine. I'm not poor myself. No reason to flaunt it, but he didn't hide it for years- we dated for years. We did have conversations about money and the future, we still do as everyone does. I shared with you but a moment in time.

NP here. If he didn't hide it and you talked about it, you must have "realized" that he was wealthy long before that evening? So your story is really not relevant.

No, that is not what I said. I said he didn't hide it for years, because we dated for years. It was always his 'parents' possessions but it was easy to do because he is not a flashy or extravagant person. I'm sure he knew I would figure it out eventually. I knew he was doing well. But it was not until I visited his other home and yacht that I realized the extent of it. We talked about money as couples do, of course.

Still makes no sense. You now want to clarify that he didn't hide it for years because you dated for years, which must be read as you figured it out before the proposal. You clearly at least figured out that he came from Money. Again, that makes this story irrelevant to the actual thread. Talking about money "as couples do," and not revealing your true financial history isn't actually talking about money "as couples do," of course. That would make him dishonest (a lie of omission is still a lie). So either you are being disingenuous about when you realized he was wealthy, or your DH is a creepy liar. I'm going with disingenuous, because you like your proposal story and want to make it seem like a Cinderella-style fantasy marriage. Cool story, bro.


But that is still far less creepy than hiding it for years as you dated, and then doing the big reveal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When he took me on a date, keeping the location secret. He met me at my modest house, and brought me a formal little black dress in a pink box with a bow on it. He asked if I would put it on, he had somewhere special to take me. After driving twenty minutes or so, he pulled over and asked me to wear his tie around my eyes and no peeking!! He stopped shortly after and lead me to a place that seemed dark and first then bright. Then, I heard waves crashing.

He pulled off the tie and I was aboard his yacht that was docked awaiting me. He asked me if I was hungry and lead me to the bright lights of his cabin he had decorated and had dinner awaiting us with wine chilled by the table. He asked me to marry him. 15 years later with two kids I am one lucky woman!

Assuming this is true, I don't really understand it. If he kept his money a secret all that time, why choose to reveal it like that when he proposed? Why not do it in a mature conversation about money and the future? I admit to cringing a bit when I read this because it felt to me like he was somehow trying to buy you, like you might not say yes, or at least might not realize just how lucky you were that he was proposing, if he didn't dazzle you with his wealth. Wouldn't you still be a lucky woman after 15 years and two kids if he didn't have all of that money?

Yes, I would be lucky no matter his assets or lack thereof. I understand your concerns but we manage just fine. I'm not poor myself. No reason to flaunt it, but he didn't hide it for years- we dated for years. We did have conversations about money and the future, we still do as everyone does. I shared with you but a moment in time.

NP here. If he didn't hide it and you talked about it, you must have "realized" that he was wealthy long before that evening? So your story is really not relevant.

No, that is not what I said. I said he didn't hide it for years, because we dated for years. It was always his 'parents' possessions but it was easy to do because he is not a flashy or extravagant person. I'm sure he knew I would figure it out eventually. I knew he was doing well. But it was not until I visited his other home and yacht that I realized the extent of it. We talked about money as couples do, of course.

Still makes no sense. You now want to clarify that he didn't hide it for years because you dated for years, which must be read as you figured it out before the proposal. You clearly at least figured out that he came from Money. Again, that makes this story irrelevant to the actual thread. Talking about money "as couples do," and not revealing your true financial history isn't actually talking about money "as couples do," of course. That would make him dishonest (a lie of omission is still a lie). So either you are being disingenuous about when you realized he was wealthy, or your DH is a creepy liar. I'm going with disingenuous, because you like your proposal story and want to make it seem like a Cinderella-style fantasy marriage. Cool story, bro.


But that is still far less creepy than hiding it for years as you dated, and then doing the big reveal.

Feel better?