Marriage roles

[Anonymous]

I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Sounds like you get to be the resentment fairy. Maybe you could, you know... Talk to her and work it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Sounds like you get to be the resentment fairy. Maybe you could, you know... Talk to her and work it out?

Nah. I'd feel like such a wuss while my wife was plunging the shitty toilet because I thought it was gross.

[Anonymous]

We have roles but they're defined by what we like and are good at. DH does trash and shoveling and all lifting of heavy stuff because he is strong and i have a weak back - I help when it's really bad out there and keep him company in the snow. I cook because I love it and I do all the handy things around the house - like fixing the drain and building shelves and squeaky doors because i like to and i'm good at it. He does the finances because he's meticulous about it (but we do the taxes together). we both hate vacuuming and cleaning toilets so we outsource most of that. I think it's useful to have some roles so that everyone knows what their responsibilities are in the household but it's also important to reassess them if situations change - I was really sick and couldn't do anything for 2 weeks and he did everything and last year he had a month of ridiculous amount or work so i took everything off his plate.
dealing with vermin is on him though, always

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Really? You don't think birthing your children was maybe a little bit of an unpleasant experience for her? Having her vagina ripped open?

[Anonymous]

I do everything food related (shopping cooking packing planning)and am the primary with the kids. He does laundry, trash, cars, and house maintenence.

I do 75% of the domestic heavy lifting. He has a long commute and travels. I'd prefer him to spend his downtime with the family. We have never once argued about who does what and who should be doing more. It's a non issue.

Regardless we outsource alot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Really? You don't think birthing your children was maybe a little bit of an unpleasant experience for her? Having her vagina ripped open?

You need a penis to work a plunger? Guess I'm doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Really? You don't think birthing your children was maybe a little bit of an unpleasant experience for her? Having her vagina ripped open?

You need a penis to work a plunger? Guess I'm doing it wrong.

Damn it. I missed a chance to make an excellent "snaking the toilet" joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that we have areas of expertise that are non-gender related. I handle most kid related stuff because I was a nanny and have done a lot more research and have a lot more tact/insight than my husband. Doesn't mean he doesn't participate, but when things get sticky, I'm the "expert".
My husband LOVES cars, so he deals with car related stuff, from servicing to insurance, to cleaning them.
But my husband also does the vacuuming and majority of pet care. He enjoys vacuuming and even shampooing the carpet/rugs when needed, so that's his domain.
On the other hand, I handle most of the furniture building and the snow shoveling because I have had more practice and like it done a certain way, so I don't mind doing it.

You guys sound awesome!

Thank you! I'm one of those people with no friend and often wondering what's wrong with me/us. So your comment is very much appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Sounds like you get to be the resentment fairy. Maybe you could, you know... Talk to her and work it out?

lol seriously. It's called acting like a mature adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do stuff my wife decides is gross or otherwise disagreeable - e.g. trash, plumbing, bug killing, and pumping gas when it's cold. I do not have a similar right to find something gross or disagreeable and task her with it.

Really? You don't think birthing your children was maybe a little bit of an unpleasant experience for her? Having her vagina ripped open?

You need a penis to work a plunger? Guess I'm doing it wrong.

You use the penis AS a plunger... Just stick it in the clogged toilet, and voila!