Marriage roles

[Anonymous]

I agree that we have areas of expertise that are non-gender related. I handle most kid related stuff because I was a nanny and have done a lot more research and have a lot more tact/insight than my husband. Doesn't mean he doesn't participate, but when things get sticky, I'm the "expert".
My husband LOVES cars, so he deals with car related stuff, from servicing to insurance, to cleaning them.
But my husband also does the vacuuming and majority of pet care. He enjoys vacuuming and even shampooing the carpet/rugs when needed, so that's his domain.
On the other hand, I handle most of the furniture building and the snow shoveling because I have had more practice and like it done a certain way, so I don't mind doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

How is your husband farting have anything to do with gender

x2. So bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we have defined gender roles in our marriage. The main one being that a human being will come out of my vagina, not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

How is your husband farting have anything to do with gender

x2. So bizarre.

Op meant getting gas for a car late at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

+1! Of course I can't convince my neanderthal fiancé of this. He thinks women should pay for themselves, protect themselves, and clean up, too! What a catch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we have defined gender roles in our marriage. The main one being that a human being will come out of my vagina, not his.

Good for you for stressing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that we have areas of expertise that are non-gender related. I handle most kid related stuff because I was a nanny and have done a lot more research and have a lot more tact/insight than my husband. Doesn't mean he doesn't participate, but when things get sticky, I'm the "expert".
My husband LOVES cars, so he deals with car related stuff, from servicing to insurance, to cleaning them.
But my husband also does the vacuuming and majority of pet care. He enjoys vacuuming and even shampooing the carpet/rugs when needed, so that's his domain.
On the other hand, I handle most of the furniture building and the snow shoveling because I have had more practice and like it done a certain way, so I don't mind doing it.

You guys sound awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anything involving vermin = man's job. Everything else we split by level of interest/skill.

[Anonymous]

DH is an awesome cook, and he loves to go to the farm market. I do the other grocery run each week, and do dishes (with the kids' help). I do bills, taxes, insurance, car maintenance, appointments, calendar keeping. We also outsource a lot: cleaning, laundry, lawnmowing, etc. He (and increasingly DS) do the snow shoveling. And he is the "primary driver" because he is a horrible passenger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chore chart in our house:

Me: Pick up, dinner, unpacking of daily bags, general straightening, laundry, baby bedtime.

DH: Drop off, dinner/kitchen/dishes clean up, packing of bags for next day, vacuuming, toddler bedtime.

It very recently got to a chore chart but I was about ready to lose my mind trying to do everything. Honestly, having everything mapped out makes it so much easier.

And yes, he drives everywhere. I always thought women driving was weird, but my SIL has awful car sickness so she always drives

Why? Serious question. What is weird about a woman driving a car?

Explanation #1: It's the active role. Being a passenger is the passive role. Active = man, passive = woman. Just like the sperm and the egg, or something!
Explanation #2: Something something operating heavy machinery.
Explanation #3: Women drivers (take my wife, please).

Those are all of the reasons I can think of, but if you know of any that I have missed, please list them!

Women are better drivers and have lower insurance premiums to prove it. Makes perfect sense to have the woman drive.

[Anonymous]

The only gender role task my husband and I fight over (yes,fight) is carving chicken or turkey. I see it as a man's role and he sees it as a woman's role.

We rarely have turkey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I never criticized anyone's marriage, we were simply in a debate over f this line of thinking was okay or not. My friends think my line of thinking is way behind the times but I don't agree. I'm happy to whatever works for these marriages. I just wanted to gather if I was alone in my line of thinking

You have way too much free time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If that works for your marriage, great. If you try to apply that to everyone's marriage, no.

This.

[Anonymous]

In certain respects, I have to agree.

Like you stated, I think a man should get gas late at night. It only makes the most since because for a woman it is more dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Yes. In our house we have zones. We both like it that way. No fighting and no resentment and shit gets done.