For married couples with children that split the bills 50/50...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Proving my contention that people who insist on separate accounts already have one eye on the exit. They may be wise to do that, but it's still telling.

Or maybe they're just not being idiots about the realities of long-term relationships.

But you go ahead, keep those stars in your eyes. Must be neat to exist in your little world where nothing ever goes wrong.

[Anonymous]

DH's paychecks go into his account, mine go into a joint account. He pays the mortgage, the utilities and the credit card bills (we do all our spending on cards to earn rewards and pay them off in full each month). I pay the private school tuition for both kids and everything we purchase at Target (Red Card draws from that account). Because I make so much less than he does, he sometimes has to transfer additional funds into "my" account, which is why it's joint.

As for savings, DH is the only one saving anything. He contributes the max to his 401K and puts a little aside each month as an emergency stash. I declined all benefits in favor of a higher salary so we could afford private school, so pretty much all my money goes to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Proving my contention that people who insist on separate accounts already have one eye on the exit. They may be wise to do that, but it's still telling.

Or maybe they're just not being idiots about the realities of long-term relationships.

But you go ahead, keep those stars in your eyes. Must be neat to exist in your little world where nothing ever goes wrong.

You realize both of those are gross generalizations and most people fall in the middle right? Someone with separate accounts is not a money hungry cheater and those who decided it was a hassle to keep 3-6 accounts and consolidated are not "idiots who deserve to go broke when they get divorced, which they will"..............

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Proving my contention that people who insist on separate accounts already have one eye on the exit. They may be wise to do that, but it's still telling.

Or maybe they're just not being idiots about the realities of long-term relationships.

But you go ahead, keep those stars in your eyes. Must be neat to exist in your little world where nothing ever goes wrong.

You realize both of those are gross generalizations and most people fall in the middle right? Someone with separate accounts is not a money hungry cheater and those who decided it was a hassle to keep 3-6 accounts and consolidated are not "idiots who deserve to go broke when they get divorced, which they will"..............

Your response is far too reasonable for DCUM where vitrol is queen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Proving my contention that people who insist on separate accounts already have one eye on the exit. They may be wise to do that, but it's still telling.

Or maybe they're just not being idiots about the realities of long-term relationships.

But you go ahead, keep those stars in your eyes. Must be neat to exist in your little world where nothing ever goes wrong.

You realize both of those are gross generalizations and most people fall in the middle right? Someone with separate accounts is not a money hungry cheater and those who decided it was a hassle to keep 3-6 accounts and consolidated are not "idiots who deserve to go broke when they get divorced, which they will"..............

Your response is far too reasonable for DCUM where vitrol is queen!

And where MY way is perfect and YOUR way is moronic/dangerous/abusive/evidence of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Consequences of modern liberalism - destroy the family and culture on every level, while big govt raises the kids!

Pathetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more common in the NE. The women tend to work outside the home and they spend less time and money on grooming.

What the hell does grooming have to do with separate accounts?

I find it odd that on a board supposedly filled with "progressive" women, so many posters are bothered by others having a bit of separate money. Some of you are spending a lot of time telling other couples why they're wrong. This arrangement works for a lot of people. You act like we're talking about plural marriage here--"shocking," "bizarre," "complicated." Yeah....this is none of those things.

BTW, just speaking for myself, but if DH it I couldn't work, or one of us wanted to SAHP, we'd live off one income just like every other couple. The unemployed one wouldn't be busking in front of Verizon Center to come up with haircut money.

My god.

i loled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consequences of modern liberalism - destroy the family and culture on every level, while big govt raises the kids!

Pathetic

Troll fail. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consequences of modern liberalism - destroy the family and culture on every level, while big govt raises the kids!

Pathetic

[phone]

There is only 1 way to "have it all"

[Anonymous]

So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works? Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account? I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though. That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal? Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so. Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair. If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works? Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account? I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though. That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal? Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so. Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair. If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.

In our house, we each put a set amount into the joint account that will cover our monthly outlays, usually with a bit of a cushion, and then we keep the rest of our paychecks in our own accounts.

In other words:

Payday: Paychecks direct deposited in our individual checking accounts
Payday +1: Recurring transfers move money from our individual checking accounts into the joint checking account. Right now about $3k each from our personal accounts.

After the initial setup via online banking of the monthly recurring transfer, we never have to do anything more, unless the time comes when we feel like the amount deposited needs to be increased thanks to inflation, higher bills, or whatever.

But we do make roughly the same amount.

[Anonymous]

Totally separate accounts. Always has been, likely always will be. Husband makes 20% more than me so he pays 20% more of the household bills. He has kids from a prior marriage and he pays their child support/college, while I pay for our child's private school. That comes out pretty close to our percentage split.

I manage the bills, and he writes me a check once a month to cover his portion. He saves in his retirement accounts. I save in mine. He has emergency savings and so do I. We give each other money as needed. Has never been a problem. Married almost 15 years now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works? Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account? I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though. That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal? Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so. Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair. If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.

Basically. This is the main complaint from every couple I know that does everything separate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works? Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account? I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though. That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal? Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so. Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair. If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.

Basically. This is the main complaint from every couple I know that does everything separate.

Be careful on that phrasing. What's being described above is a mix, neither purely together nor purely separate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So far no one has given any details about exactly how this works? Does each spouse get a fixed amount of money each month in a personal account to spend however they want, maybe $1,000 a month or something, like an allowance, where as everything else goes into the joint account? I could see that working, because regardless of the spouses income they have the same amount of spending money.

It seems like most people are talking about a percentage split or something, though. That would work ok if both spouses had similar incomes, but what about if incomes are unequal? Say one parent is a partner at a law firm making $400K a year, while the other is a fed making $120K a year or so. Does the lower income spouse just have a lot less spending money than the higher income one?

That doesn't sound fair. If one spouse stays at home with the kids, it is even less fair.

Basically. This is the main complaint from every couple I know that does everything separate.

NP here. We contribute to the joint account in a ratio equal to our incomes. So, if I make 200k and he makes 100k then I contribute twice as much to the joint account. It's actually very simple. The amount we put in is based on our expenses plus some cushion. I usually take part of the cushion and transfer it to savings.