If you could go back in time would you still have kids?

[Anonymous]

Now that they are fully fledged (or nearly fully fledged) human beings, I couldn't not have them, but I wold love to be able to go back in time with the knowledge I have learned about their challenges and be able to intervene earlier and not make the mistakes of trusting the people who completely missed their issues, dismissed them, or said "wait and see".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No or I would have stopped at one.

Can you say more about this? How many kids do you have, and what would be different if you stopped at one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but if I hadn't had them, I think the material advantages of not having kids (more money, more travel, more sleep, more freedom) might have made me happy enough that I wouldn't be too sad about it.

Hmmmm I dunno PP. You just described many gay men, yet they are adopting in droves. All the money and time in the world yet many have a strong desire for children AFTER accumulating wealth and realizing they still feel incomplete.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Absolutely. However, I would not settle in the DC area. I dislike this area for raising children. Too crowded, expensive and stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Absolutely. However, I would not settle in the DC area. I dislike this area for raising children. Too crowded, expensive and stressful.

Interesting. I grew up in a major city (plenty to see and do) and have lived in a DMV suburb for years. I hate it and miss the big city. Ironically, my suburb raised kid who has had a taste of the big city during vacations absolutely loves city life and says once in college will not return to this area and will head for the big city. Of course, if DC goes to school in the big city, we'll see how that turns out.

[Anonymous]

If I'm being honest, probably not. Now, I can't imagine my life without MY two kids- I love those kids to death and would never trade them away for anything. But if I never had any knowledge of my kids now, I could see myself being very happy as a child-free person. I never had a strong desire to have kids, so I don't have that biological thing going on. I'm not a regretful parent though- I don't wish that I didn't have my kids. I could just see myself making different choices and being just as happy.

Also, it's not really fair to compare yourself to others. You have no idea what they are dealing with in their lives that maybe makes having kids tough- a bad marriage, job or health issues, situations with parents or siblings, money, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but maybe just one. I have two. Or I would have made more money when younger and had three!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though my ex cheated and had a diagnosed psychological breakdown, leaving me to raise our 4 year old autistic child alone, I would still do it again. My kid is awesome and my life is so much more fulfilling than it was before.

You are a hero! You go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly, but still I would not recommend having them in my forties as I did.

+1. I would not have the husband I have and the good marriage I have if I had married any earlier boyfriends though. A good man came into my life too late. Never wanted to be a divorced parent and I'm not! But I AM an older mom and sort of regret that, though I'm keeping up just fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Absolutely. However, I would not settle in the DC area. I dislike this area for raising children. Too crowded, expensive and stressful.

Interesting. I grew up in a major city (plenty to see and do) and have lived in a DMV suburb for years. I hate it and miss the big city. Ironically, my suburb raised kid who has had a taste of the big city during vacations absolutely loves city life and says once in college will not return to this area and will head for the big city. Of course, if DC goes to school in the big city, we'll see how that turns out.

It is all your perspective, I guess. I grew up in the Midwest and like it here but not the traffic, housing prices, pace, etc. Wouuld never raise kids in New York unless I had tons of MONEY. Even then, I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me a LONG time to become a mom,,,finally happened 7 months ago when I adopted my baby girl....I am blissfully happy. So, the answer to the question is a resounding !!!YES!!!

Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

I've got 2 autistic kids-- and I'd say YES to having them again. If I could magically delete their father, though, I'd definitely go for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've got 2 autistic kids-- and I'd say YES to having them again. If I could magically delete their father, though, I'd definitely go for that.

Bless you and LOL!!

[Anonymous]

YES! And I'd start earlier so I could have two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took me a LONG time to become a mom,,,finally happened 7 months ago when I adopted my baby girl....I am blissfully happy. So, the answer to the question is a resounding !!!YES!!!

Congratulations!

Yay!!