If you could go back in time would you still have kids?

[Anonymous]

Tough one for me. I'm a single mom. Part of me still wonders what would have happened if I hadn't gotten pregnant by my daughter's dad. I really would not have chosen to have a baby as a single mom, but once I got pregnant, I decided to roll with it. It's not terrible, but it is lonely at times, and I wonder if I hadn't taken the one path, whether a different one would have featured a kid AND a husband.

That said, I like the kid I have. Another guy would have produced a different kid and that kid might have been far less cool.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

I loved my life pre-kids, but I love it even more now. I feel incredibly sad to imagine going through these years of my life without children.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no question!! I love my kids and I'm glad I waited till 35 to have my first. I also had a great life pre-kids and I feel like I experienced almost everything I wanted to do (travel, grad school, focus on career, etc.) before having them.

[Anonymous]

I love my kids dearly, but still I would not recommend having them in my forties as I did.

[Anonymous]

I love my kids, but I would not recommend having them in my forties as I did.

[Anonymous]

I would do it again, but even earlier. I had my first at 27. Would have had my first at 24 (DH and I met in college) would have had 3 kids all by the time I was 30. Right now I have 2 and do not want to be an older mom, so I'm done.

I do love traveling and seeing new places with the boys. we've never seen kids as a burden to doing the things we love

[Anonymous]

On the jealousy post - everything I do with my kids just sounds so much more fun than what nonparents do ... And I can do a lot of the same things, like travel, or learn a foreign language, or read a good book, with a larger fan club - DH and the kids. As far as sleeping in late, my 14 year old says that's overrated and we can sleep when we are dead. Eating at an uber fancy restaurant? Did that so many times before, it's stale now. Fancy events? I do some for my kids' schools and job, I don't need more. Movies - we can go with the kids. Golf - it's more fun with our family foursome. I am so looking forward to touring colleges with the DCs to see what they like. I had to work my way through undergrad and grad school and it's so exciting to see people I live have a more fun ride.

[Anonymous]

I meant people I love in prior post ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly, but still I would not recommend having them in my forties as I did.

My aunt is 59 and has a 13yr old and a 16yr old. She is wrecked and is not shy about telling me it is because of her age. Before i had kids and was just married to her nephew she would tell me all the time to hurry up and have kids. She also says she feels very bad that her career took a hit in her 40s and advised me to take the blow in my 20s/30s. She was right. Im in my mid 30s, school aged kids and took a few years off when they were little and I was only making 50k/yr, so it was NBD, nor a financial hit. I picked it back up after they were preschoolers and am now in a six figure leadership role. By the time I hit 45 and they will have just graduated HS, I will be hitting my peak earning, just in time. Could not imagine, even in my career now, having babies. She's waiting up at night for teens and dealing with some serious drama at 59…and when I'm 59 my kids will be 33 & 31.

[Anonymous]

More kids!

[Anonymous]

Yes - my kids are awesome. I can't imagine life without them. I had them in my mid 30's which has worked out very well for me. Love being their mom. And I'm glad that I had kids with dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no question!! I love my kids and I'm glad I waited till 35 to have my first. I also had a great life pre-kids and I feel like I experienced almost everything I wanted to do (travel, grad school, focus on career, etc.) before having them.

+1 I could have written this post. Loved my life before kids, but now it is such a different life (in a really good way). I would not change a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids dearly, but still I would not recommend having them in my forties as I did.

My aunt is 59 and has a 13yr old and a 16yr old. She is wrecked and is not shy about telling me it is because of her age. Before i had kids and was just married to her nephew she would tell me all the time to hurry up and have kids. She also says she feels very bad that her career took a hit in her 40s and advised me to take the blow in my 20s/30s. She was right. Im in my mid 30s, school aged kids and took a few years off when they were little and I was only making 50k/yr, so it was NBD, nor a financial hit. I picked it back up after they were preschoolers and am now in a six figure leadership role. By the time I hit 45 and they will have just graduated HS, I will be hitting my peak earning, just in time. Could not imagine, even in my career now, having babies. She's waiting up at night for teens and dealing with some serious drama at 59…and when I'm 59 my kids will be 33 & 31.

Not everyone has the option of having kids early due to many factors, infertility being a big one.

Wrecked or not, bet she wouldn't trade those kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Only wish I could have more.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but if I hadn't had them, I think the material advantages of not having kids (more money, more travel, more sleep, more freedom) might have made me happy enough that I wouldn't be too sad about it.