do you "fix yourself up" before Dh comes home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say most days yes. Brush hair, reapply lipstick, little things like that. Every once in awhile like today when it's ugly and cold out, I get into sweats and don't give a fuck. But overall I do try to make sure he comes home and sees me looking good.

What is your fear that you think will happen if he doesn't see you looking good?

Yes, I wonder this too. Do you have kids?

Yes we have two. Four years and two months. I still manage to get a shower and fix my hair and makeup and get dressed everyday. I don't care if others don't do it but I like to look nice for myself AND for my husband. Really not sure why this position is getting so much pushback on this thread. I didn't realize it had become a character flaw to want to keep yourself up.

[Anonymous]

Minimal grooming is just another way the patriarchy is keeping women down. Being slovenly unshowered and uninterested in sex is the only way you can make him prove he loves you unconditionally and that he isn't "winning" the marriage somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Minimal grooming is just another way the patriarchy is keeping women down. Being slovenly unshowered and uninterested in sex is the only way you can make him prove he loves you unconditionally and that he isn't "winning" the marriage somehow.

This is a brilliant post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a one year old and seriously, after the baby i went totally SCHLUMP: unmatching pajamas, sweats that don't fit well, same thing three days in a row (including sleeping), etc. I HAVE actually started to get dressed and fix myself up more before he gets home but when he is not around I secretly slide back to schlump...

Why is it that women put more effort into how they look for a first date with a guy they don't even hardly know than they do for the man who has committed his life and soul to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Minimal grooming is just another way the patriarchy is keeping women down. Being slovenly unshowered and uninterested in sex is the only way you can make him prove he loves you unconditionally and that he isn't "winning" the marriage somehow.

No wonder men have wandering eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say most days yes. Brush hair, reapply lipstick, little things like that. Every once in awhile like today when it's ugly and cold out, I get into sweats and don't give a fuck. But overall I do try to make sure he comes home and sees me looking good.

What is your fear that you think will happen if he doesn't see you looking good?

Yes, I wonder this too. Do you have kids?

Yes we have two. Four years and two months. I still manage to get a shower and fix my hair and makeup and get dressed everyday. I don't care if others don't do it but I like to look nice for myself AND for my husband. Really not sure why this position is getting so much pushback on this thread. I didn't realize it had become a character flaw to want to keep yourself up.

NP. I think you're getting pushback because the OP (and some subsequent posts) came across as:
(1) Doing this primarily for your husband in some kind of 50s throwback, not because it makes you feel good too, and brings to mind playing games to 'keep' your man. I hope that we all try to do nice things for our spouses because we value their happiness, but I can understand how the way this was originally posted rubbed folks the wrong way.
(2) Judgmental of women who don't do this.

I think it's great to spend time doing things to make your spouse happy and to do things that make you feel good about yourself, and if those are low time commitment / big payoff items even better. It's just important to remember that what those things will look like will vary widely between individuals and couples.

[Anonymous]

You people are all odd. If ANY other adult is coming into my house - and that includes DH - I make sure my hair is brushed, my clothes are reasonably presentable (eg, for the baby days, no visible poop or puke), and I will try to throw on a little blush and/or lipstick so I don't look completely green (olive skin tone here, but on the pale side). It's not really for them, it's for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't put on make-up necessarily (he claims to like a natural look) but I think you and your DH sound sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't put on make-up necessarily (he claims to like a natural look) but I think you and your DH sound sweet.

+1

[Anonymous]

You know what irritates me...every time you turn around there's another columnist, another author, another television show host offering advice to women on how to handle their relationships - how to keep DH interested and all this other craziness.
#1 it irritates me because 99% of these advice gurus are 40+ year-old single women. YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP ONE?!!
#2 it irritates me because it reinforces the presumption that all men think alike.

Look ladies - you know your husband. You know what he likes you know what he doesn't like and most importantly you care about him and what pleases him. The OP cares about her husband and acts accordingly. Big round of applause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Minimal grooming is just another way the patriarchy is keeping women down. Being slovenly unshowered and uninterested in sex is the only way you can make him prove he loves you unconditionally and that he isn't "winning" the marriage somehow.

Is this parody?

Waiting for my flat iron to heat up now as I waste time reading these asinine posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what irritates me...every time you turn around there's another columnist, another author, another television show host offering advice to women on how to handle their relationships - how to keep DH interested and all this other craziness.

I agree with this. They make money by creating anxiety and then purporting to solve the problem. "Women, do you know how to keep your man." [Wait, what? I thought me and my man were cool. I should be worried? OMG. Shit. All right, how do I keep him?"]

Beyond that, most guys aren't that difficult. Make a reasonable effort to keep up your appearance. For most guys, I honestly don't think you have to go overboard. Maybe take a shower, wear clothes that are mostly clean, somewhat form revealing. Keep in reasonable shape -- but, be aware, you ladies are generally *way* harder on yourselves than men (at least as husbands - single guys may be a bit different) are. Be enthusiastic about having sex with us. You don't have to be a contortionist or a porn star. Just be enthusiastic. Laugh at our jokes, act like you're glad to see us, and pretend you're proud of us.

[Anonymous]

I wash my ass every night before bed. Brush my teeth, use mouthwas and try to look passably sexy just in case sex happens that night. It's the little things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wash my ass every night before bed. Brush my teeth, use mouthwas and try to look passably sexy just in case sex happens that night. It's the little things.

pp, I expect the same from DH.

[Anonymous]

When men say they like natural and no makeup, they don't mean literally no makeup. They mean something like this:

http://www.makeupsideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/How-to-Avoid-Too-Much-Makeup.jpg

They just don't understand that wearing "makeup" doesn't mean black shadow and dark lipstick.