I'm the HR Bitch! Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do HR people lord it over applicants like they're the ones making decisions? The person's supervisor, at every company I've worked at, made the decision and them the new hire processes paperwork etc with HR. HR does busywork and does NOT have any influence.

Not OP, but I do HR. I do lots of other things because it's a small company, but I'm our only HR person. I've never had an opportunity or a reason to "lord it over applicants" but I absolutely make the decision regarding 90+% of our applicants. Most people who apply for a position are never seen by the manager in charge of that position, because I make the first two cuts. I review all the application and ditch most of them. Then I interview the most qualified ones-- usually 6 or 7, depending on the haul of apps. Then I pass the three MOST qualified of those on to the manager who makes the final decision. You think managers have time to sort through hundreds of applications?? No. That's what HR is for.

So if you feel as if an HR manager has lorded something over you, my guess is that you're in the bottom tier of applicants, that you called and emailed incessantly until you were finally told "I'm sorry, this position requires a specific skill set that is not evident in your application materials", and thus decided that some dumb bitch in HR has it in for you because you're so awesome and she's so lame and obviously bitter about her life of busywork.

actually, HR is probably struggles the most in the tech and science fields. they usually have limited knowledge in the subject matter and it shows in their "pre-selections".

[Anonymous]

"Recently I got feedback that on his third day he was told that when someone calls you into their office (and you're their assistant) you should always show up with pen and paper prepared to take notes, and ever since then he always does."

One of my pet peeves. Do workers think they're called in to chat? Then they have to go back for paper and pen, and I have to repeat myself. Total waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Recently I got feedback that on his third day he was told that when someone calls you into their office (and you're their assistant) you should always show up with pen and paper prepared to take notes, and ever since then he always does."

One of my pet peeves. Do workers think they're called in to chat? Then they have to go back for paper and pen, and I have to repeat myself. Total waste of time.

I think it just doesn't occur to them that they'll be given a slew of details to keep track of. At least this one kid will know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Recently I got feedback that on his third day he was told that when someone calls you into their office (and you're their assistant) you should always show up with pen and paper prepared to take notes, and ever since then he always does."

One of my pet peeves. Do workers think they're called in to chat? Then they have to go back for paper and pen, and I have to repeat myself. Total waste of time.

When my manager calls me into his office sometimes we discuss strategy over how to handle a project or we draft an email or a cover letter on his computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do the problem employees manage to be hired in the first place? Are they good at making false first impressions? What about people who are terrible interviewers but make great employees? How can you spot the hidden gems and those who seem (superficially) great fits?

Nepotism! Some people interview really well but it turns out, are awful in ways you just can't predict. Like the older lady my coworker hired. On paper she was great - solid work history, solid skills, bi-lingual, great first impression. Then she started and the complaints were rolling in - she constantly talked way too loudly, wasn't a team player, talked way too much without enough substance, drank soda at her desk all day long and spilled it every other day.

There are certain things that are giveaways of nervousness. I watch body language and sometimes if I think someone has potential but came across poorly we'll bring them back for a second interview. Normally if someone is even the tiniest bit late, I throw out their resume. But when someone just moved to the area three days ago, it's pouring rain, they tripped and fell on the sidewalk and have a bloody knee and show up 20 minutes late ... well sometimes you have to be open to breaking your own rules, you know? (That is a real example that happened to someone who, it turns out, is a great asset.)

So you scrutinize your employees based on arbitrary behavioral benchmarks rather than the quality of their work? What other types of complaints do you get? So and so wears green and the manager hates green? Someone goes to the bathroom too often?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do the problem employees manage to be hired in the first place? Are they good at making false first impressions? What about people who are terrible interviewers but make great employees? How can you spot the hidden gems and those who seem (superficially) great fits?

Nepotism! Some people interview really well but it turns out, are awful in ways you just can't predict. Like the older lady my coworker hired. On paper she was great - solid work history, solid skills, bi-lingual, great first impression. Then she started and the complaints were rolling in - she constantly talked way too loudly, wasn't a team player, talked way too much without enough substance, drank soda at her desk all day long and spilled it every other day.

There are certain things that are giveaways of nervousness. I watch body language and sometimes if I think someone has potential but came across poorly we'll bring them back for a second interview. Normally if someone is even the tiniest bit late, I throw out their resume. But when someone just moved to the area three days ago, it's pouring rain, they tripped and fell on the sidewalk and have a bloody knee and show up 20 minutes late ... well sometimes you have to be open to breaking your own rules, you know? (That is a real example that happened to someone who, it turns out, is a great asset.)

So you scrutinize your employees based on arbitrary behavioral benchmarks rather than the quality of their work? What other types of complaints do you get? So and so wears green and the manager hates green? Someone goes to the bathroom too often?

This woman was talking so loudly that everyone in an office near her was closing their door and the people without offices couldn't concentrate or hear people they were on the phone with. She was spilling a large glass of Coke every day or every other day - we found out she was the one taking roll after roll of paper towel out of the kitchen and storing it at her desk for these spills. Those are only two of the MANY issues with that particular woman. It was a few years ago, but I can't recall so many people ever complaining about one person like that besides her.

We get complaints that Jane is trying to hog the printer and tell others they can't print to it. That Scott is smoking in his office. That Dave is cursing while on calls in his office with the door open and making people who sit outside it uncomfortable. That people's lunch got stolen. That Mike is giving someone work but they are swamped and don't even work for Mike. That Dave told them to work with Jane on a project but Jane is refusing to collaborate in any way. That Jenna drank four glasses of wine at the one-hour conference and is now slurring her words in a meeting with a client. I hear all kinds of stuff. Someone even complained to me once that a new mom brought her baby in during a childcare snafu and she wasn't getting a chance to hold the baby because other coworkers were hogging him.

[Anonymous]

I'm an attorney at a bank. HR told me a branch manager was belching and farting in front of customers. Too funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney at a bank. HR told me a branch manager was belching and farting in front of customers. Too funny!

I read about a fed employee who was on probation and was about to be fired for farting too much in the office. I am thinking there must have been a medical reason. Can you imagine being his manager and having to monitor and document all of this? Awful for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do the problem employees manage to be hired in the first place? Are they good at making false first impressions? What about people who are terrible interviewers but make great employees? How can you spot the hidden gems and those who seem (superficially) great fits?

Nepotism! Some people interview really well but it turns out, are awful in ways you just can't predict. Like the older lady my coworker hired. On paper she was great - solid work history, solid skills, bi-lingual, great first impression. Then she started and the complaints were rolling in - she constantly talked way too loudly, wasn't a team player, talked way too much without enough substance, drank soda at her desk all day long and spilled it every other day.

There are certain things that are giveaways of nervousness. I watch body language and sometimes if I think someone has potential but came across poorly we'll bring them back for a second interview. Normally if someone is even the tiniest bit late, I throw out their resume. But when someone just moved to the area three days ago, it's pouring rain, they tripped and fell on the sidewalk and have a bloody knee and show up 20 minutes late ... well sometimes you have to be open to breaking your own rules, you know? (That is a real example that happened to someone who, it turns out, is a great asset.)

So you scrutinize your employees based on arbitrary behavioral benchmarks rather than the quality of their work? What other types of complaints do you get? So and so wears green and the manager hates green? Someone goes to the bathroom too often?

This woman was talking so loudly that everyone in an office near her was closing their door and the people without offices couldn't concentrate or hear people they were on the phone with. She was spilling a large glass of Coke every day or every other day - we found out she was the one taking roll after roll of paper towel out of the kitchen and storing it at her desk for these spills. Those are only two of the MANY issues with that particular woman. It was a few years ago, but I can't recall so many people ever complaining about one person like that besides her.

We get complaints that Jane is trying to hog the printer and tell others they can't print to it. That Scott is smoking in his office. That Dave is cursing while on calls in his office with the door open and making people who sit outside it uncomfortable. That people's lunch got stolen. That Mike is giving someone work but they are swamped and don't even work for Mike. That Dave told them to work with Jane on a project but Jane is refusing to collaborate in any way. That Jenna drank four glasses of wine at the one-hour conference and is now slurring her words in a meeting with a client. I hear all kinds of stuff. Someone even complained to me once that a new mom brought her baby in during a childcare snafu and she wasn't getting a chance to hold the baby because other coworkers were hogging him.

Are you serious? Some of these workers sound like little kids who tattle or need constant supervision, not professionals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HR is an business overhead, therefore your salary prospects will always be limited.
Why are you not looking for other options

Money is not the only goal. I'm happy with my salary.

Salary prospects are actually really great for good HR people. Just check salary.com to see the range for Directors and VPs

So you think salary.com shows realistic salaries? Are the salaries at your corporation for open positions at that level

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Recently I got feedback that on his third day he was told that when someone calls you into their office (and you're their assistant) you should always show up with pen and paper prepared to take notes, and ever since then he always does."

One of my pet peeves. Do workers think they're called in to chat? Then they have to go back for paper and pen, and I have to repeat myself. Total waste of time.

Just go ahead and tell them politely to have pad and pencil ready whenever you call them in. I had this issue when I first started working and one of my friends had to clue me in to the "always grab a pad before going into his office" solution. Sounds obvious but wasnt to me, as I had very little experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Recently I got feedback that on his third day he was told that when someone calls you into their office (and you're their assistant) you should always show up with pen and paper prepared to take notes, and ever since then he always does."

One of my pet peeves. Do workers think they're called in to chat? Then they have to go back for paper and pen, and I have to repeat myself. Total waste of time.

Just go ahead and tell them politely to have pad and pencil ready whenever you call them in. I had this issue when I first started working and one of my friends had to clue me in to the "always grab a pad before going into his office" solution. Sounds obvious but wasnt to me, as I had very little experience.

This, above, yes. Not everybody is coming from the same place. Just like I had to let a young French girl know that here, it's noted when someone wears the same thing to work as they did the day before, people arrive at work thinking differently from each other.

[Anonymous]

Have you had complaints of people being retaliated against for taking time off (eg) for medical problems, pregnancy, etc. How did HR handle it? What was the resolution?

[Anonymous]

Do you automatically devalue an application from someone who is not currently working (and would that opinion change if that person voluntarily left the last job, because a project wrapped up and there was no other role that was a good fit for them on the horizon at that company, and they were burned out and wanted a break before the next job)?

[Anonymous]

What's the key to finding an employee who's a good fit?