Allotting rooms at beach house - should aunt have to share room with four year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP here. Third post, lest I be wrongly accused of something - what, I don't know. Perhaps information sharing?!

Anyway, it is too easy to fall into old family roles. Dh has a very dysfunctional family, and since I am not a professional, it is anything but a vacation to spend a week watching the train wreck that is his family. Half of them easily need professional help.

While no family is perfect, and I firmly believe that (anyone who tries to portray otherwise is lying) - trying to hide ones faults or family's faults during a way too long "vacation" week is just trying my extreme patience even more.

I am convinced that Dh's family has 80% ill intentions, and it really can be exhausting. I think that is much of what is going on here.

Family roles and birth order, amongst "old news", are key OP.

You might want to consider that you are projecting wildly here. Maybe start your own thread to vent about your DH's family beach vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I am the primadonna of my family (bossy oldest sister) and I have a 4 and 2 yr old who also would not sleep well together and even I am on your side.

In your sister's place, DH and I would each take a child and stay in separate rooms (we do this at in laws). On the other hand, if there were a reason we couldnt do this (aka - bunk beds in kids room), i can see asking you if you minded sharing (my primadonna self coming put).

Why would bunk beds preclude you from sharing with your child?

Because we'd need to sleep in bed with the kid, so hard on a twin bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I am the primadonna of my family (bossy oldest sister) and I have a 4 and 2 yr old who also would not sleep well together and even I am on your side.

In your sister's place, DH and I would each take a child and stay in separate rooms (we do this at in laws). On the other hand, if there were a reason we couldnt do this (aka - bunk beds in kids room), i can see asking you if you minded sharing (my primadonna self coming put).

Why would bunk beds preclude you from sharing with your child?

Because we'd need to sleep in bed with the kid, so hard on a twin bed.

I'm confused. If there are bunk beds, why would you need to share?

[Anonymous]

Why can't kids sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor or a cot? That is what I had to do as a kid at our family's beach house; all adults got a bed, then the kids were in cots and bags in some rooms, living room, portch and hall. We didn't really care.

[Anonymous]

Sister wants a grown woman (OP) to give up her peace and privacy by sacrificing so that a small child can have a beach house room all to himself?? Bizarre. Really bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I can imagine a case where maybe there are only two rooms for the six of you, each with a queen and a twin. Then I would be inclined to think you should suck it up so both children at least have a bed.
But from what you describe, your sister wants her toddler to have a private room before an adult? Very self-centered.

This is the height of the wussification of America. I remember being so excited if I actually got that foam "egg crate" pad to sleep on, instead of just the floor. If you got an actual mattress on the floor at these family slumber parties, you were living large.

[Anonymous]

I slept on a chair on the balcony for a week during one vacation. I thought it was awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister wants a grown woman (OP) to give up her peace and privacy by sacrificing so that a small child can have a beach house room all to himself?? Bizarre. Really bizarre.

Sister thinks that OP, with no child and no husband should suffer more and take on the babysitting of her kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm really curious to hear how this one ends.

[Anonymous]

Op, offer for she and the 4y.o. to sleep in your room, and you sleep in the room with her husband. That seems about as arbitrary as her set-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pull a primadonna move yourself. Tell your mom that if she wants to keep the peace, she needs to support you. If you can't have your own room, you're not going. If they want you to join in on a family vacation, they need to treat you like an equal adult. Otherwise, you'll joing them when you "qualify" as a married woman. Enough of the second rate citizen shit.

Either that or tell them you've decided to envite your significant other along on the trip. Show up with your best girlfriend and let them sit and wonder about you two all week. Offer to let your niece bunk in with the two of you as long as her mother doesn't think your late night activities will bother your niece.

Try to arrive first. Who has the keys? Be one of the first to arrive and pick a room with 1 bed-full if that's an option. Any chipping in for food? Kids under 5 count as .5 and each adult is 1. Therefore you are 1/8. Do not play with or entertain that sisters children. Smile and say hi. No gifts.

No keeping the peace on this room issue. It is a good idea to invite a friend or how about a cousin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I am the primadonna of my family (bossy oldest sister) and I have a 4 and 2 yr old who also would not sleep well together and even I am on your side.

In your sister's place, DH and I would each take a child and stay in separate rooms (we do this at in laws). On the other hand, if there were a reason we couldnt do this (aka - bunk beds in kids room), i can see asking you if you minded sharing (my primadonna self coming put).

Why would bunk beds preclude you from sharing with your child?

Because we'd need to sleep in bed with the kid, so hard on a twin bed.

Why wouldn't you sleep in the top bunk and put the little one on the bottom?

I'm confused as to why an aunt and toddler can share a set a bunk beds, but a parent and toddler can't. I'm also confused why one can't set up a blow up mattress or something on the floor for a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I am the primadonna of my family (bossy oldest sister) and I have a 4 and 2 yr old who also would not sleep well together and even I am on your side.

In your sister's place, DH and I would each take a child and stay in separate rooms (we do this at in laws). On the other hand, if there were a reason we couldnt do this (aka - bunk beds in kids room), i can see asking you if you minded sharing (my primadonna self coming put).

Why would bunk beds preclude you from sharing with your child?

Because we'd need to sleep in bed with the kid, so hard on a twin bed.

so OP gets a room with bunks and NO ONE sleeps on the top. Let the brats sleep in a queen.

[Anonymous]

Are you MIL - 15:27?? Wow.

PP here. I am not projecting wildly.

I am sharing my experiences. If you have nothing constructive to add, or are just looking for a fight, thats your problem, not mine.

Did you notice the title of the thread?

OP, vacations are supposed to be pleasant, something you look forward to, not dread. Some ILs (and 15:27!) don't play well with others and try to deflect. They are not very good at it. This seems to be the situation you are in. Call them out and try to come to an agreement ahead of time.

You need to be around negative on your vacation.

[Anonymous]

need == don't need