Allotting rooms at beach house - should aunt have to share room with four year old?

[Anonymous]

i would have my own room. i live my niece/nephew but no way. and i would never ever ever expect someone to do this with my dd.

[Anonymous]

No way in hell. What is wrong with your sister? If her kids can't share a room, then one needs to sleep with HER.

[Anonymous]

You're in the right, but we can post here all day that we agree with you; that won't help you make the case with the stubborn sibling.

Would she listen to your parents or the sensible sibling on this? It sounds as if she is not going to listen to you. (I'm sorry if she has a bad case of "the single sibling should do what the married one wants" -- it's a nasty condition some siblings develop.)

I would let her know that the other sibling has agreed to the two-rooms-per-family arrangement for the parents with kids and that if the issue is that her kids can't get along or keep each other up, well, she and her husband can have one child sleep with them as others note. You have a right to sleep (if not sleep in, at least sleep restfully) on your vacation. But none of this will go over well coming from you, unfortunately. I would try to enlist the others to tell her she needs to deal with things.

Sadly, if you get that room to yourself, I bet she makes the rest of the vacation a pain for you by dropping snarky comments and mentioning how tired she is all the time, or blaming her kids' crankiness on the fact that they had to sleep in the same room, etc. Smile and ignore her. She sounds just lovely.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I can't believe your sister is insisting on this. If their kids can't share a room, then the 2 yo sleeps with them and the 4 yo gets a room. Why should YOU be put out?? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks everyone! My mom agrees but is coaching me to side with my sis to save the peace. I holding strong after reading the responses.

I will note that when I was growing up as the youngest, I used to sleep on a cot on the porch at the beach! I loved it. But that was a different era, crime wise....

[Anonymous]

Be strong!

Your sister is a self absorbed idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone! My mom agrees but is coaching me to side with my sis to save the peace. I holding strong after reading the responses.

I will note that when I was growing up as the youngest, I used to sleep on a cot on the porch at the beach! I loved it. But that was a different era, crime wise....

Your mom calls this "saving the peace" and I call this giving in to a bully. Stand strong. You do not get less simply because you're not married or don't have a child. Your sister needs to understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous. You should have your own room. The extra kid can sleep with the parents if their two kids can't share a room.

agree!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks everyone! My mom agrees but is coaching me to side with my sis to save the peace. I holding strong after reading the responses.

I will note that when I was growing up as the youngest, I used to sleep on a cot on the porch at the beach! I loved it. But that was a different era, crime wise....

OP, I'm sort of a "save the peace" type grandmother myself at times, but I think your sister's suggestion is really out of line. Not sure why she could possibly think she should be able to sleep child-free, while you have a child in your room--no matter how dear and sweet the child. She must have a really strong, self-willed personality! Hope you'll keep standing firm!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone else in the house who is an adult gets their own room and you share with a child. So your sib has three rooms. OMG.

YEP! my thoughts exactly! Would love to send this response to the sister who dreamed up this plan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous. You should have your own room. The extra kid can sleep with the parents if their two kids can't share a room.

+1 rule is all families split 2 rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're in the right, but we can post here all day that we agree with you; that won't help you make the case with the stubborn sibling.

Would she listen to your parents or the sensible sibling on this? It sounds as if she is not going to listen to you. (I'm sorry if she has a bad case of "the single sibling should do what the married one wants" -- it's a nasty condition some siblings develop.)

I would let her know that the other sibling has agreed to the two-rooms-per-family arrangement for the parents with kids and that if the issue is that her kids can't get along or keep each other up, well, she and her husband can have one child sleep with them as others note. You have a right to sleep (if not sleep in, at least sleep restfully) on your vacation. But none of this will go over well coming from you, unfortunately. I would try to enlist the others to tell her she needs to deal with things.

Sadly, if you get that room to yourself, I bet she makes the rest of the vacation a pain for you by dropping snarky comments and mentioning how tired she is all the time, or blaming her kids' crankiness on the fact that they had to sleep in the same room, etc. Smile and ignore her. She sounds just lovely.

I agree with this. But forewarned is forearmed. Smile, ignore, pour wine and go relax on the porch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would like to get a hold of whomever tried to corner the real estate market of the Outer Banks with these GD 6 BR houses on stilts with elevators.

I don't need an elevator, any more than I need to be spending time worrying about how badly MIL wants to treat us while she dusts off the cobwebs of her bankroll to rent a house for one God forsaken week a year. For crying out loud, doesn't she know its about 140 degrees Farenheit, and I'm not keen on "vacationing" with 25 people, and a week long hurricane warning, by now?

Do me a favor, if you see one of these real estate "geniuses": Tell them the majority of the world likes renting next door to their in laws just fine. They are doing no one any favors by giving me these vacation from hell houses as an option.

So no, OP. Grown adults should under no circumstances be expected to share a room with children.

And if there is not enough room for the people you invited to join you, then it is in fact no favor at all. Zero. My vacation consists of peace, quiet, fun and friends. Not rehashing the past passive aggressions that you never addressed 40 years ago.

Love this one! Took me awhile to get it. I think it sums up the situation perfectly!
Holy crap. Vent over.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my family and my mother. That she does not immediately take your side but waffles that you should give in tells me the family dynamic is let the bully have her way. Does not sound like a fun vacation for you. It is so grossly unfair to put you in this position. But mom will probably do anything to please this sis. sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would probably venture to guess that if you were a guy, your sister wouldn't even think about it. For some reason, society expects women to just jump in and want to be around children all the time - even take care of other people's kids.

You're a grown person and you deserve your own room. As others have repeatedly mentioned, the kids can sleep with your sister, or share a room. Stand your ground and do not give in. Tell your mother that for the sake of peace, your sister should stop being an entitled, selfish woman.