dads/moms with "professional careers": do you eat dinner with family on weekdays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that is where the commute BS comes in. I suppose I could be an early riser (against my nature), but driving from Vienna to DC/Arlington is SO MUCH easier if you get in late. My commute is 30 minutes if I hit the HOV lanes at 9, but probably an hour or so if I need to be in the office at 8:15.

From reading the replies, I think the best thing for us is to have later dinners. Say 7:15.

Apologies if I missed this, OP, but how old are your children?

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all posts but I did see a couple from the OP. It sounds like he wants to hear that others also find it difficult to eat as a family and still be okay. I think it is possible. Both my husband and I work outside the home. I eat with the kids every night at 6:00 or 6:30. It is rare for my DH to be home for dinner. It is ok and we make it work. We talk about our days and often one of the kids will call their dad And put him on the speaker so he can join in the conversation. So even though he is not physically present he is still with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

No, we do not eat dinner with family during the week. BigLaw x2. We do not eat dinner as a family during the week except on very rare occasions. We tried family breakfast for awhile, but once the kids had to be at the bus stop at 7:30 a.m., that stopped working.

There is nothing to "explain" to my family. This is how it is.

No. This is not "how it is." This is your choice, BigLaw x2 was not ust dumped on you.

Not that you have to explain it if you don't feel that's necessary, but you are not a passive recipient of this life either.

I didn't say this was dumped on me. I said I don't have to explain anything because this is how it is - it being our family life. The other thing, too, about the whole cat's in the cradle - my kids are both in competitive sports. So even if we were home, the kids wouldn't be. Believe it or not, there are 7 year olds who are at sports practice until 7:30 pm or later several nights a week and until 8:30 pm other nights during the week. If this perfect life we're imagining here together means my kids cannot do their sports so we can all eat together, they would want zero part of that. Every activity they do is self-directed, not pushed by us. We talk a lot about balancing school work and sports, so someday this schedule could change when the homework load gets worse, but for now, they are having a blast and keeping their school work up.

If OP doesn't want that life for himself and his kids, ok. But it doesn't mean those of us who don't eat dinner as a family have anything to "explain."

[Anonymous]

what sports are your kids doing at 7 where they are practicing until 8:30 several nights a week? sounds miserable.

[Anonymous]

Why do you put "professional careers" in quotes? Seems patronizing.

But to answer your question, yes. We don't have long commutes and are able to manage our schedules so that we are home by 5:30 most nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:that is where the commute BS comes in. I suppose I could be an early riser (against my nature), but driving from Vienna to DC/Arlington is SO MUCH easier if you get in late. My commute is 30 minutes if I hit the HOV lanes at 9, but probably an hour or so if I need to be in the office at 8:15.

From reading the replies, I think the best thing for us is to have later dinners. Say 7:15.

Apologies if I missed this, OP, but how old are your children?

NP here. I guess maybe commuting east is different than commuting north? I come from Springfield and choose to slug, so that adds time, and am usually on 395 by 6.15. If I drove, I'd be in earlier. Much easier going in very early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you put "professional careers" in quotes? Seems patronizing.

But to answer your question, yes. We don't have long commutes and are able to manage our schedules so that we are home by 5:30 most nights.

why is that patronizing? "professional careers" is pretty subjective, hence it is in quotes. i.e., not a 9-5 type job.