dads/moms with "professional careers": do you eat dinner with family on weekdays?

[Anonymous]

Maybe the industry I'm in a more flexible and progressive but hardly anyone is around after 445. The office is dead and the only place you can reach someone is their cell. If I need someone at 6- forgot it. However email does seem to fire up again at 9.

[Anonymous]

2 doctors - we eat dinner as a family almost every weeknight - except maybe 1-2 nights if I am stuck at the hospital. My husband leaves for work by 6 am so he can be home before 6. He finishes charts/notes/dictations after the kids go to bed at night on most nights.

[Anonymous]

Who are all you government lawyers who get out so early? DH is a fed lawyer and he never gets home before 6:45/7:15.

[Anonymous]

We eat dinner on week nights probably 4/5 nights at around 6-6:30. We are both lawyers. DH in govt (GS 15). I work in house at non profit. We both fire up again around 9pm. Our bosses are flexible and know we get the job done.

[Anonymous]

Mom government lawyer here. Nope, we don't eat together on weeknights. But, it isn't because of parents' jobs. It's because of kids activities.

[Anonymous]

DH is a college professor. He teaches late one night, but other than that, he's home for dinner by 5:30. I'm a work at home website editor, so I'm here too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

DH and I are both practicing lawyers, both working full time. We make it a family priority to eat dinner together as a family every night. We eat at 6:30. Coincidentally, we also live in Vienna, and my DH commutes to DC.

We do this by declining evening obligations as much as possible, going to work super early, working at home after dinner and being happy with secure but low to medium powered careers. Our HHI is over $300,000 though so not any financial sacrifice to do it this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you government lawyers who get out so early? DH is a fed lawyer and he never gets home before 6:45/7:15.

What time does he start, and does he have a long commute? Does he take a long lunch, or just get his 8.5 hours in and get out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

DH and I are both practicing lawyers, both working full time. We make it a family priority to eat dinner together as a family every night. We eat at 6:30. Coincidentally, we also live in Vienna, and my DH commutes to DC.

We do this by declining evening obligations as much as possible, going to work super early, working at home after dinner and being happy with secure but low to medium powered careers. Our HHI is over $300,000 though so not any financial sacrifice to do it this way.

this is the OP. getting to work early would not make a difference, unless I could change all of my co-workers and clients. I need to be there when they need me. and yes, if your combined HHI is $300K you are making a sacrifice. That is fine for you and I'm happy it works out, but my target in a few years is approx $350-400K or so myself. besides, it cuts my commute in half if I can get on 66.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all you government lawyers who get out so early? DH is a fed lawyer and he never gets home before 6:45/7:15.

My DH never gets home before 7:30. He's in mgmt in a DOJ trial section. He probably puts in 60 hours/week. We live in CCDC, so it's not the commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

DH and I are both practicing lawyers, both working full time. We make it a family priority to eat dinner together as a family every night. We eat at 6:30. Coincidentally, we also live in Vienna, and my DH commutes to DC.

We do this by declining evening obligations as much as possible, going to work super early, working at home after dinner and being happy with secure but low to medium powered careers. Our HHI is over $300,000 though so not any financial sacrifice to do it this way.

this is the OP. getting to work early would not make a difference, unless I could change all of my co-workers and clients. I need to be there when they need me. and yes, if your combined HHI is $300K you are making a sacrifice. That is fine for you and I'm happy it works out, but my target in a few years is approx $350-400K or so myself. besides, it cuts my commute in half if I can get on 66.

Hey OP, I'm sorry to be judgmental since you are obviously trying to make more family time but $300K HHI is not a "sacrifice." If you want to pursue your career goals of making $350k-400k, then unless you are in charge of your own schedule, in most jobs, clearly you are not making it home for family dinner at 6pm. I am the PP who is a 2 lawyer family who has dinner at 6pm nearly every night. Our HHI is probably $250k. We own a house in DC, have 30 minute commutes via metro and have zero financial stress. I would not trade in our comfortable life (including family dinners) to make an extra $150k. But you do. You can't have it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

DH and I are both practicing lawyers, both working full time. We make it a family priority to eat dinner together as a family every night. We eat at 6:30. Coincidentally, we also live in Vienna, and my DH commutes to DC.

We do this by declining evening obligations as much as possible, going to work super early, working at home after dinner and being happy with secure but low to medium powered careers. Our HHI is over $300,000 though so not any financial sacrifice to do it this way.

this is the OP. getting to work early would not make a difference, unless I could change all of my co-workers and clients. I need to be there when they need me. and yes, if your combined HHI is $300K you are making a sacrifice. That is fine for you and I'm happy it works out, but my target in a few years is approx $350-400K or so myself. besides, it cuts my commute in half if I can get on 66.

Hey OP, I'm sorry to be judgmental since you are obviously trying to make more family time but $300K HHI is not a "sacrifice." If you want to pursue your career goals of making $350k-400k, then unless you are in charge of your own schedule, in most jobs, clearly you are not making it home for family dinner at 6pm. I am the PP who is a 2 lawyer family who has dinner at 6pm nearly every night. Our HHI is probably $250k. We own a house in DC, have 30 minute commutes via metro and have zero financial stress. I would not trade in our comfortable life (including family dinners) to make an extra $150k. But you do. You can't have it all.

I also wanted to add that DH has a prestigious govt job as an adviser to a political appointee. We are lucky that he is very family friendly (although does not have a family himself) and doesn't bat an eye when DH walks out the door at 5:15-5:30. But it's not easy to draw boundaries for your family life, especially for dads. But he has done it and still has a great job.

[Anonymous]

"prestigious govt job as an adviser to a political appointee"

Oh, please, let us know when he has a senate confirmed cabinet slot and we may be slightly impressed.

To answer OP's question, I'm a regulatory lawyer with a boutique firm and get home for dinner most nights, though I tend to have an evening reception or client dinner 2-3x/month. We don't eat until 6:45 or 7:00, sometimes 7:15, so depend on healthy snacks to keep DC going until dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"prestigious govt job as an adviser to a political appointee"

Oh, please, let us know when he has a senate confirmed cabinet slot and we may be slightly impressed.

To answer OP's question, I'm a regulatory lawyer with a boutique firm and get home for dinner most nights, though I tend to have an evening reception or client dinner 2-3x/month. We don't eat until 6:45 or 7:00, sometimes 7:15, so depend on healthy snacks to keep DC going until dinner.

I am the quoted PP here. Obviously this is an annoymous board so clearly I am not trying to impress anyone. I wrote this only because typically when anyone writes that they are a govt lawyer who comes home by 6pm, people write them off as having a backwater job in a random agency answering FOIA requests. My goal was only to point out that you can actually have a "prestigious" lawyer job in government, and still have good hours, but you do need to draw a line in the sand and leave. It is not easy to walk out the door when your boss is still there and everyone is still working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dad here, lawyer at midsize firm. zero chance I am home in Vienna before 7:30pm. and a few times a month, or more, I have board meetings, business development, etc. When I was in biglaw it would have been impossible to get home before 9pm.

So let me know, and if the answer is what I expect, how do you explain to your family?

DH and I are both practicing lawyers, both working full time. We make it a family priority to eat dinner together as a family every night. We eat at 6:30. Coincidentally, we also live in Vienna, and my DH commutes to DC.

We do this by declining evening obligations as much as possible, going to work super early, working at home after dinner and being happy with secure but low to medium powered careers. Our HHI is over $300,000 though so not any financial sacrifice to do it this way.

this is the OP. getting to work early would not make a difference, unless I could change all of my co-workers and clients. I need to be there when they need me. and yes, if your combined HHI is $300K you are making a sacrifice. That is fine for you and I'm happy it works out, but my target in a few years is approx $350-400K or so myself. besides, it cuts my commute in half if I can get on 66.

Well that why you're never home for dinner. I'm more than happy making more than 90% of Americans. My DH has a car that can use 66 during rush hour.