Insensitive Drs at Childrens (overweight child)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is talking about vanity sizing. She May wear a 14/16 but in reality, she is probably a 20.

This.

But also the PP is right, the size 14/16 in a plus size store is larger than the standard 14 or 16 in a regular department store. I just went through those sizes and that's how I know. I could fit into a 14/16 at the plus size store with no problems but not be able to get into a 14 at Ann Taylor for example. The cut of clothing at the plus size stores was definitely fuller.

i am not going to continue to debate sizes with you but my DD wears a 14 (ish) at stores like DEB and F21 plus and at stores like Macy's etc. she is a 14/16 (closer to 16)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child with SN and I am absolutely appalled by many of these posters. Why are people screaming at OP that her DD is fat? She knows this, she's written this. Are you concerned that she doesn't feel enough shame? And who are you to judge who should post here. OP's DD has a medical condition. parents post about that sort of thing here all the time.

I'm ashamed, actually. The SN board used to be supportive.

Another mother of kids with SNs here. I, too, am appalled at by many of the posts here - which I suspect are mostly from non-SN parents. The OP's child certainly has a challenge and I welcome her posts here. I'm sorry she hasn't found the support so many of us do on this forum. I'm seeing a lot of similarities between OP's experiences and my own, especially the unnecessary, uninformed judgments of the ignorant. It doesn't matter what OP and her DD have done in the past, they are moving on and making the best choices they can in the present. They are both to be applauded. Some days will be easier and more successful than others but through their efforts, they will be successful and get to where they need to be. That's exciting and praiseworthy.

OP, as some PPs noted, you should contact the hospital ombudsman or patient advocate. The treatment you received was appalling and counterproductive. The ombudsman/advocate should address this with the staff so no one else is subjected to it. That's not the way care should be provided. Good luck and congratulations to you and your DD for all your hard work.

[Anonymous]

I don't think being overweight should be considered a "special need".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is talking about vanity sizing. She May wear a 14/16 but in reality, she is probably a 20.

This.

But also the PP is right, the size 14/16 in a plus size store is larger than the standard 14 or 16 in a regular department store. I just went through those sizes and that's how I know. I could fit into a 14/16 at the plus size store with no problems but not be able to get into a 14 at Ann Taylor for example. The cut of clothing at the plus size stores was definitely fuller.

i am not going to continue to debate sizes with you but my DD wears a 14 (ish) at stores like DEB and F21 plus and at stores like Macy's etc. she is a 14/16 (closer to 16)

Women's sizes aren't standard across brands. I can totally fit in a 14 in most brands at Macy's and I have never fit in a 14 at Ann Taylor. It's pointless to argue sizes because they aren't standard. More a guideline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being overweight should be considered a "special need".

ITA. This ridiculous thread should be moved to OT or GP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being overweight should be considered a "special need".

It most certainly can. "Special Needs" refers to anyone who require assistance for medical, mental, or pyschological disabilities. OP's DD certainly fits that criteria, as does my DH who has diabetes and requires a special diet and certain food at certain times of the day. So does the kid with anxorexia or bulemia or who binges. "Special needs" covers a broad range of disabilities, not all of them visible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is talking about vanity sizing. She May wear a 14/16 but in reality, she is probably a 20.

This.

But also the PP is right, the size 14/16 in a plus size store is larger than the standard 14 or 16 in a regular department store. I just went through those sizes and that's how I know. I could fit into a 14/16 at the plus size store with no problems but not be able to get into a 14 at Ann Taylor for example. The cut of clothing at the plus size stores was definitely fuller.

i am not going to continue to debate sizes with you but my DD wears a 14 (ish) at stores like DEB and F21 plus and at stores like Macy's etc. she is a 14/16 (closer to 16)

It's interesting to me that you continue to pull out random bits of posts that you think you can refute. You refuse to believe that the weight your daughter gained is environmental (which is clearly is) instead blaming a hormone imbalance that was corrected 4 years ago. You refuse to admit that she is overweight, saying "she is just a little big all over". She is morbidly obese. The doctor is trying to intervene for your daughter's life. You care more about your pride and sensitivity at being obese yourself than you do about your daughter's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being overweight should be considered a "special need".

It most certainly can. "Special Needs" refers to anyone who require assistance for medical, mental, or pyschological disabilities. OP's DD certainly fits that criteria, as does my DH who has diabetes and requires a special diet and certain food at certain times of the day. So does the kid with anxorexia or bulemia or who binges. "Special needs" covers a broad range of disabilities, not all of them visible.

In many cases but not in this case. According to OP her DD does not have SN, her daughter is "fat" but working on it and she's posting here b/c of how insensitive the doctors at Children's are for mentioning that fact.

[Anonymous]

Also, the debate about clothes sizes and how her DD fits a size 14... OMG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp is talking about vanity sizing. She May wear a 14/16 but in reality, she is probably a 20.

This.

But also the PP is right, the size 14/16 in a plus size store is larger than the standard 14 or 16 in a regular department store. I just went through those sizes and that's how I know. I could fit into a 14/16 at the plus size store with no problems but not be able to get into a 14 at Ann Taylor for example. The cut of clothing at the plus size stores was definitely fuller.

i am not going to continue to debate sizes with you but my DD wears a 14 (ish) at stores like DEB and F21 plus and at stores like Macy's etc. she is a 14/16 (closer to 16)

It's interesting to me that you continue to pull out random bits of posts that you think you can refute. You refuse to believe that the weight your daughter gained is environmental (which is clearly is) instead blaming a hormone imbalance that was corrected 4 years ago. You refuse to admit that she is overweight, saying "she is just a little big all over". She is morbidly obese. The doctor is trying to intervene for your daughter's life. You care more about your pride and sensitivity at being obese yourself than you do about your daughter's life.

Hi it's the op again. I am not trying to refute anything. What more do you want? Yes she had a hormonal condition which we corrected and it took many different approaches to find one that actually worked. How fast do you lose weight pp? I know that dd has a long road ahead but she is on that road. No maybe I didn't always help her make the best food choices. Yes I'm obese as well but not as a result of sitting on my ass eating crap. I'm fat because I can only walk for abt 20 mins a day as a result of a birth defect. It is one thing to tell my dd that she is fat
if she is not doing anything abt it, but she is
So yes I do care about the fact that drs are always saying "oh yeah so I know you lost weight. But you're still fat and you aren't doing anything abt it.... Oh bye the way you know you are fat right? And you have a lot of health risks"

[Anonymous]

I am so so ashamed of these boards for the way people are attacking OP. If you don't have children with special needs -- and I suspect you don't -- please go away. You are awful, judgmental people.

Why OP's post belongs here:

1. Her DD had a head injury -- bing, bing, bing medical challenge.
2. Her daughter had a hormonal disorder. Bing. Bing Bing. Medical disorder. So what if it resolved, her DD is still carrying around the weight form that disorder. We all know that childhood obesity carries over. The good news is that OP's daughter has lost a substantial amount of weight. She is addressing the problem. In spite of the fact that this girl is dealing with the long term effects of a serious disorder, and dealing with it pretty damn well -- you all see the need to shame her and her mother with these attacks.
3. Even if none of this were true, even if this was only a question about how to deal with doctors, who better to answer that question than those of us who have had to deal with medical professionals for our kids over and over again. We have advise to offer. OP asked for this advise. There was nothing inappropriate about that.

I know that DCUM is a place where people feel free to judge others and shaming them about their weight is a big fat way they do this. But not here, in the SN section. If you don't have a child with SAN you are the one who doesn't belong. And if you can't be supportive, please go away.

OP, you sound like a great mom.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why I got all british there -- I meant advice.

[Anonymous]

I understand the hormonal condition part---but honestly, 260? How did you not notice way sooner? Also, the food still has to go in to the kid to create the weight.

That said, most places are required to mention weight. They would do the same if your daughter was seriously underweight. Most obesity-defending people don't understand just how much that excess weight affects every system in their body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand the hormonal condition part---but honestly, 260? How did you not notice way sooner? Also, the food still has to go in to the kid to create the weight.

That said, most places are required to mention weight. They would do the same if your daughter was seriously underweight. Most obesity-defending people don't understand just how much that excess weight affects every system in their body.

What people like you don't seem to realize is that in the SN forum, if you don't have something constructive to say, you don't say anything at all. Your post brings no value. As 15:40 stated, if you can't be supported, go away. Feel feel to start your own thread on a different forum where the norms are different.

[Anonymous]

OP post a pic of DD?