Split check on first date...

[Anonymous]

Honestly, now that I know that it was their first meeting (as opposed to just their first date) and they connected over the internet, I don't think its so awful that he took her up on the offer to split. Now that he's asked her out a second time, if she accepts, he should pay.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should go out with him again if that was your only issue. First dates can be awkward for a lot of reasons. Would hate to see you miss out on a potentially great guy because of something relatively minor. (if he is cheap/miserly/ungenerous, you'll figure it out soon enough anyway.)

[Anonymous]

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar awful date. We were at a restaurant and each ordered a drink. He then said, "why don 't we split an order of French fries". There will be no 2nd date.

Wait, wait. Did he offer to split the bill for an order of fries or split an order of fries? Maybe he wanted something small to snack on while having a drink

I'm still worried about this person who won't go out on second dates with people who want to share food with her. I just don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you offer to split if you didn't want to split? Today, there's no real dating rules as there used to be. You ask him to split, and then you expect him to read your mind to know that you didn't actually want to split the bill. And now you're criticizing him for behaving inappropriately.

You sound like a lot of my friends who can't figure out why they don't have a husband. Mind games.

This was my first thought too. OP, this is what's wrong with dating. Don't play games. If you don't want to pay or don't think you should pay (I have issues with that, but whatever, not the focus here), don't OFFER to pay. I can't understand why in the hell you would offer when you had no intention of actually paying and are now pissed off that you had to pay.

[Anonymous]

Okay, I just read thru 7 pages of posts on this topic. The guy is a BIG LAW PARTNER. How does the OP know this? Because the BIG LAW PARTNER told her. Why? Because the BIG LAW PARTNER is probably an asshole. Oh wait, he's a lawyer - he IS an asshole!
Go out w him on a 2nd date ONLY if you want a free meal. Refuse to pay, or split, and, if necessary, excuse yourself to the bathroom, then jump out the bathroom window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I just read thru 7 pages of posts on this topic. The guy is a BIG LAW PARTNER. How does the OP know this? Because the BIG LAW PARTNER told her. Why? Because the BIG LAW PARTNER is probably an asshole. Oh wait, he's a lawyer - he IS an asshole! Go out w him on a 2nd date ONLY if you want a free meal. Refuse to pay, or split, and, if necessary, excuse yourself to the bathroom, then jump out the bathroom window.

Hahahahahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many women on this thread ask men out for a first date? Didn't think so. Nice how the deck is stacked for you that way.

Evolutionary biology trumps feminism every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar awful date. We were at a restaurant and each ordered a drink. He then said, "why don 't we split an order of French fries". There will be no 2nd date.

Wait, wait. Did he offer to split the bill for an order of fries or split an order of fries? Maybe he wanted something small to snack on while having a drink

I'm still worried about this person who won't go out on second dates with people who want to share food with her. I just don't understand.

I am not the one with the french fries- but it is more like when the guy takes the menu and asks if you want to split a specific thing- but it seems like you cannot order/he doesn't want you to order food for yourself? Or he plans to pay for it and doesn't want you to pick what you want to order? I have no problem with splitting food, I do have a problem with not being "allowed" to order what I want or the portion size that I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar awful date. We were at a restaurant and each ordered a drink. He then said, "why don 't we split an order of French fries". There will be no 2nd date.

Wait, wait. Did he offer to split the bill for an order of fries or split an order of fries? Maybe he wanted something small to snack on while having a drink

I'm still worried about this person who won't go out on second dates with people who want to share food with her. I just don't understand.

I am not the one with the french fries- but it is more like when the guy takes the menu and asks if you want to split a specific thing- but it seems like you cannot order/he doesn't want you to order food for yourself? Or he plans to pay for it and doesn't want you to pick what you want to order? I have no problem with splitting food, I do have a problem with not being "allowed" to order what I want or the portion size that I want.

I'll help you all out.

Guy: "Why don't we split an order of French fries?"
You: "Nah, not a huge fan. You go ahead, I think I'll get mozzarella sticks."

You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'll help you all out.

Guy: "Why don't we split an order of French fries?"
You: "Nah, not a huge fan. You go ahead, I think I'll get mozzarella sticks."

You're welcome.

Are you recommending to just say what you mean? I'm shocked!

[Anonymous]

What if he doesn't ask? It's just awkward. Please don't order for me.

[Anonymous]

So....old chauvinist approach of assuming that the man will pay the whole bill is OK.
Old chauvinist approach of ordering the woman's food, not OK.

Got it!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP--let it slide. Maybe he realized afterwards that the splitting-the-check thing was a dick move. Maybe he hasn't dated in a while. Maybe he dates a different woman every night (which honestly isn't your business if you have only been out once, you should be dating just as many men). Maybe he took your offer to split the check on face value as just that--an offer to split a check. Maybe because women assume he is loaded he has never had a woman offer to split the check before and he was flabbergasted. However you will never know, because you don't know what he is thinking.

If he asks you out, go out with him again. If you have fun and he wants to see you again, repeat. If not, throw him back. But if this is the biggest red flag you can come up with, you are fishing for reasons to be single.

[Anonymous]

This is not a red flag.

Talking about what a bitch his ex-wife and/or mother is--that's a red flag.

Getting blackout drunk on your first date--red flag.

Texting someone else repeatedly during your date--red flag.

Making jokes about rape or negroes--red flag.

Talking about how he can't pay his phone bill and has to make calls from work because he has no other phone--red flag.

Taking a cab home from D.C. to Herndon because of a DUI--red flag.

Not paying because his credit cards were all declined--red flag.

Being old enough that he should live alone and still living in a frat house--red flag.

Voting for Bush twice--red flag (I kid! I kid!).

Accepting the offer from a woman you met on a dating site to pay for half of her meal...not a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Geez, this thread is still going? He has been roasted. Maybe he is just a good guy who was caught off guard and wants to learn more about her. No wonder there are so many single people-nobody can survive under a microscope.

And wouldn't it be funny if someone at his firm has read this, knows there is a single guy who went on a date the other night, and asks him if he is THE GUY whose date offered to split the tab?