S/O being excluded from birthday parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Other girl with party invited her list of attendees to her party.
2. 5-person party girl completely separately and independently invited her 5 girls to her own party.
3. Not everyone made the 5 girl cut.
4. This other girl had completely control over whom she invited to her party.
5. Everyone seemed to attend only those parties they were invited to.
What's the problem?

The problem is:
1. The way that OP's DD responded to the situation was impolite--she should have just said it was a space issue and left it at that. And OP should have told her the proper way to handle it instead of letting a 7 yo handle a sensitive situation like this.
2. When 99% of responders disagreed with the OP, instead of acting like an adult and accepting that maybe it was not handled properly, he acted like a jerk. If you don't want people's feedback, don't ask for it.

Uh, I didn't ask for feedback. I told a story. Big difference.

Your original post began with a question and ended with "Thanks for any insight". So, you kinda did ask for feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know - shouldn't the bday kid have any consideration? Shouldn't that kid decide who her friends are and invite those kids? Seriously as an adult, if you are organizing a party at work, and you invite some co-workers, but not all, doesn't that make sense to you? Just think about it from an adult perspective here. I don't think it makes sense to invite kids that your child doesn't like to your child's bday party. This makes no sense to me. It doesn't mean the kid is a bad kid. It means she wants to have fun on her bday at her own bday party.

True. But then don't turn around and ATTEND THAT KID'S PARTY! That's the point! If I don't want someone at my house, I don't accept their invitations either! That's what's so crass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Nobody is flaming your little girl. And, I, for sure, would never call a 7 yo girl a bitch. Most of us are saying that you did a horrible job of parenting in THiS particular situation. We all hope that your DD turns out to be kind and considerate in spite of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is almost never invited to b-day parties. He has Asperger's and a hard time socially. Frankly, when I've seen other kids his age at birthday parties or when he does actually go to one or at his own (small) parties, he's no more or less offensive than the other kids. But I know he's hard to take (most kids don't want to discuss his obsessions of course). He loves being around other kids and I can't think it doesn't hurt his feelings to hear the other kids talk about parties. I understand why he's not at the top of the invitee list, but it sure is hard.

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

It sounds like your child is inherently nicer than you are. I hope that she is not too swayed by your poor parenting to keep these instincts.

How nice of you to say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is almost never invited to b-day parties. He has Asperger's and a hard time socially. Frankly, when I've seen other kids his age at birthday parties or when he does actually go to one or at his own (small) parties, he's no more or less offensive than the other kids. But I know he's hard to take (most kids don't want to discuss his obsessions of course). He loves being around other kids and I can't think it doesn't hurt his feelings to hear the other kids talk about parties. I understand why he's not at the top of the invitee list, but it sure is hard.

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Your kid is friends with a kid with aspergers, so can't possibly have been rude to another kid? I'm not sure I see the connection between the two ideas. I also think that kids with aspergers aren't so incredibly unfriendable that only the nicest, purest of heart kids can be friends with them.

But it's not your fdaughter's behavior that most people are criticizing, it's yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is almost never invited to b-day parties. He has Asperger's and a hard time socially. Frankly, when I've seen other kids his age at birthday parties or when he does actually go to one or at his own (small) parties, he's no more or less offensive than the other kids. But I know he's hard to take (most kids don't want to discuss his obsessions of course). He loves being around other kids and I can't think it doesn't hurt his feelings to hear the other kids talk about parties. I understand why he's not at the top of the invitee list, but it sure is hard.

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Your kid is friends with a kid with aspergers, so can't possibly have been rude to another kid? I'm not sure I see the connection between the two ideas. I also think that kids with aspergers aren't so incredibly unfriendable that only the nicest, purest of heart kids can be friends with them.

But it's not your fdaughter's behavior that most people are criticizing, it's yours.

don't think...not think..obviously. typo...sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Nobody is flaming your little girl. And, I, for sure, would never call a 7 yo girl a bitch. Most of us are saying that you did a horrible job of parenting in THiS particular situation. We all hope that your DD turns out to be kind and considerate in spite of you.

Are you kidding me? The child was called a bitch, mean, and a whole lot of other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Other girl with party invited her list of attendees to her party.
2. 5-person party girl completely separately and independently invited her 5 girls to her own party.
3. Not everyone made the 5 girl cut.
4. This other girl had completely control over whom she invited to her party.
5. Everyone seemed to attend only those parties they were invited to.
What's the problem?

The problem is:
1. The way that OP's DD responded to the situation was impolite--she should have just said it was a space issue and left it at that. And OP should have told her the proper way to handle it instead of letting a 7 yo handle a sensitive situation like this.
2. When 99% of responders disagreed with the OP, instead of acting like an adult and accepting that maybe it was not handled properly, he acted like a jerk. If you don't want people's feedback, don't ask for it.

Uh, I didn't ask for feedback. I told a story. Big difference.

Your original post began with a question and ended with "Thanks for any insight". So, you kinda did ask for feedback.

No I didn't. I'm not the OP of the thread. My first post is the third one in the thread. Please try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Nobody is flaming your little girl. And, I, for sure, would never call a 7 yo girl a bitch. Most of us are saying that you did a horrible job of parenting in THiS particular situation. We all hope that your DD turns out to be kind and considerate in spite of you.

Are you kidding me? The child was called a bitch, mean, and a whole lot of other things.

The family dynamic here is just absolutely insane.

Your wife can't possibly guide your daughter through her party invites with any degree of supervision because that would be "helicopter parenting."

But, on the other hand, you have to jump on an anonymous website when unknown women refer to your daughter as a "mean girl" because, god knows, that's a terrible crime against humanity.

Your values are unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is almost never invited to b-day parties. He has Asperger's and a hard time socially. Frankly, when I've seen other kids his age at birthday parties or when he does actually go to one or at his own (small) parties, he's no more or less offensive than the other kids. But I know he's hard to take (most kids don't want to discuss his obsessions of course). He loves being around other kids and I can't think it doesn't hurt his feelings to hear the other kids talk about parties. I understand why he's not at the top of the invitee list, but it sure is hard.

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

I think you're ignoring that most people, myself included, think the fault here lies with YOU, not your daughter. I do agree that people calling her names are out of line - for cryin' out loud people, she's 7. But all the more reason for an adult to steer her in the right direction. And unfortunately, you failed her. But you seem incapable of any sort of mature self-reflection.

[Anonymous]

Ok I will defend the father of the girl that had the 5 girl party. I think it was ok that she did not invite the potty mouth girl to her party. Then since I believe the whole class was invited to potty mouth girl's party. I think it was ok for her to attend.

One vote in. I also really liked that the girl was allowed to navigate this social situation mostly on her own. Cmon half of the people on dcum are saying kids should be able to ride the metro at age 9, so why can't a 7 year old decide which 5 girls get to go to her own bday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Other girl with party invited her list of attendees to her party.
2. 5-person party girl completely separately and independently invited her 5 girls to her own party.
3. Not everyone made the 5 girl cut.
4. This other girl had completely control over whom she invited to her party.
5. Everyone seemed to attend only those parties they were invited to.
What's the problem?

The problem is:
1. The way that OP's DD responded to the situation was impolite--she should have just said it was a space issue and left it at that. And OP should have told her the proper way to handle it instead of letting a 7 yo handle a sensitive situation like this.
2. When 99% of responders disagreed with the OP, instead of acting like an adult and accepting that maybe it was not handled properly, he acted like a jerk. If you don't want people's feedback, don't ask for it.

Uh, I didn't ask for feedback. I told a story. Big difference.

Your original post began with a question and ended with "Thanks for any insight". So, you kinda did ask for feedback.

No I didn't. I'm not the OP of the thread. My first post is the third one in the thread. Please try to keep up.

Oh my, in that case, I owe the OP an apology. I was calling the wrong person a jerk the whole time. Its the poster of the third post who is the jerk. Got it--I'll try to keep up better in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm the dad of the 5-girl party getting flamed left and right here.

Let me just say that my dd, who has been alternately deemed a mean girl, a bitch, and a whole hosts of other nasties by the superior mothers on this board, counts a boy with asperger's in her class as one of her closest friends. In fact, she talked about inviting him to her party but decided he wouldn't like getting manicures and pedicures with a bunch of girls. So, we took him out to dinner with us one night separately.

What a little cold bitch, eh?

Nobody is flaming your little girl. And, I, for sure, would never call a 7 yo girl a bitch. Most of us are saying that you did a horrible job of parenting in THiS particular situation. We all hope that your DD turns out to be kind and considerate in spite of you.

12:34 #1 called her "snotty."
12:34 #2 called her a "mean little bitch."
12:41 called her "cruel."
12:54 called her "bitchy."

I stopped compiling these after two pages.

So, yeah, these "superior" mothers were flaming a little girl.

[Anonymous]

everyone keeps losing sight of the real problem here, which is the the dad allowed 5-person-party-girl to be a total hypocrite. no one cares that she didn't invite the other girl to her party. the fact that she was rude when confronted sucks but it really isn't the main problem either.

the problem is that the PP said it was ok to not invite this little girl because, essentially, his daughter DIDN'T LIKE HER, but that it was then ok to still go to that girl's party anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you wonder how that other little girl felt? How did her parents explain this to her? I wonder if she wanted to disinvite your daughter. Maybe her parents told her that that would be impolite. And then your daughter shows up at her party. Did you and your daughter smile and shake hands and say happy birthday? Must have been very confusing for the other girl. Did you stop to think how she might feel?

If you didn't want feedback on this, you should not have posted it. Or are you proud of how your daughter stood up for herself (read: hurt another little kid) and expected only positive feedback?