I got a DUI and can't live with myself - dont' know what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glass of wine is all it takes to get me feeling good. Which probably means I shouldn't drive after that. I mean, if I'm feeling nice and relaxed, its probably also effecting reaction time, right? I mean if I feel different after having a glass of wine vs having a glass of water, its effecting me, right?

feeling relaxed does not equal impaired.

i feel relaxed and stress free after a 5 mile run or a massage.

Yes, but you run and massage are not drug induced as the relaxed feeling after glass of wine is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get hammered all the time, and I call a cab or call my wife.

This is not something to brag about.

I've never understood people who are so proud to state that while they may be getting older, they "refuse to grow up". I would think this would be something to be ashamed of, not brag about. My friend's husband put this on his FB page on his bday and I just cringed in embarrassment for him. Like I am cringing for you right now.

who said I was bragging? Point is, when I get drunk, I don't drive. Not that hard. Cabs are everywhere, and rather spend $35 on a cab than $3,500 in legal and court and insurance costs.

Well, the "I get hammered all the time" part is a bit concerning and smells of adolescent style bragging about how much one consumes alcohol, as if that has any bearing on their acceptability and/or popularity and 'coolness'. Wow, you must be a really 'cool' guy since you get hammered all the time. What fun you must be. Don't we all wish we were fun like you.

Why are you picking on this guy? He posted to say, yes, a sane person calls a cab after drinking. Even a sane person who gets hammered all the time. Good for you, sir.

Not picking on him calling a cab. That's good. Getting hammered all time? Not good and contributes to a culture that believes alcohol is a prerequisite to fun and social acceptance.

hah, I don't care what he/she thinks. If I go to a ballgame with 3 old college buddies, we are going to have a great time and pound multiple beers. Same thing if I am on a golf trip. Not like I go home and have 4 martinis by myself. Social drinking is fun, in my opinion. That isn't a brag, doesn't mean I am cool, just my opinion. Doesn't mean you are an alcoholic or have a problem, which so many have a hard time believing.

I hope one day you emerge from your extended adolescence. The phrase "great time and pound multiple beers" is a sign that you think it would not be a great time if you were not pounding multiple beers." Or on the golf trip. That's a red flag, which is why it seems to you that "so many have a hard time believing". Would you still have a great time if you and all your 'buddies' did not drink at all? You sound like someone in denial, to me. Or very young.

Not the "hammered" guy--or even a guy--but I'm preeetttttyyyyy sure you're projecting your experience with 1) an alcoholic family member or 2) a lazy beer-guzzling spouse or 3) both onto this guy who is drinking with his buddies.

[Anonymous]

I hope one day you emerge from your extended adolescence. The phrase "great time and pound multiple beers" is a sign that you think it would not be a great time if you were not pounding multiple beers." Or on the golf trip. That's a red flag, which is why it seems to you that "so many have a hard time believing". Would you still have a great time if you and all your 'buddies' did not drink at all? You sound like someone in denial, to me. Or very young.

This PP sounds like the least fun person ever. It's amazing how many people on this board equate any drinking with alcoholism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I hope one day you emerge from your extended adolescence. The phrase "great time and pound multiple beers" is a sign that you think it would not be a great time if you were not pounding multiple beers." Or on the golf trip. That's a red flag, which is why it seems to you that "so many have a hard time believing". Would you still have a great time if you and all your 'buddies' did not drink at all? You sound like someone in denial, to me. Or very young.

This PP sounds like the least fun person ever. It's amazing how many people on this board equate any drinking with alcoholism.

exactly. if I meet my buddies for beers, I'm not going to get fall-down drunk, do shots all night, or get into an angry bar-fight. However, I am going to have 4-5 beers over 3 hours, complain about our wives, talk about sports, complain about our jobs, talk about the good old days, etc. That is too drunk to drive, so you get a cab. That is also a lot of fun for a once a month kind of occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DUIs today are a witch-hunt. .08 is NOT DRUNK, you did nothing wrong, but unfortunately you have to pay the price of an overreaction. seriously don't feel bad in the least. get a good lawyer and fight it and most likely it will get dismissed.

Okay, I hope this doesn't come out wrong, because I know the OP feels bad. By no means am I trying to condemn her or anyone else in this situation, but I MUST address the poster I quoted above.

However, .08 is legally drunk and that's all that matters. My brother had two beers after work three years ago. On his way home, a really man stepped off the curb in front of him. He hit the man and he, unfortunately died. My brothers BAC was .09. He did not feel drunk. It has nearly ruined his life. He plead guilty and was sentanced to 5 years. He is up for parole next week after serving 20 months. My brother did not have any priors. We grew up middle class, going to private schools and had all of the benefits of a good family and involved parents, etc.

It was a horrible accident that took one man's life, and has hurt two families in ways you cannot imagine. Not everyone gets second chances.

OP, you will be fine. You will likely pay a fine and maybe serve some community service.

But .08 is drunk, and can most definitely take and change lives, it is not an overreaction.

Well, I hate to break this to you since you sound like a nice person, but your brother was LYING about having two beers before killing a man. If your brother just weighed 160 pounds, and he drank two beers in less than an hour, his level would be .034.

http://bloodalcoholcalculator.org/#LinkURL

I live in the city and would never drive anywhere if I had even one drink - that's why we have taxis. But really, let's stick with some facts here. Your post makes NO sense.

I don't understand how a computer program could really be very effective at prediciting your BAC. How would the program know how fast your liver processes alcohol, something that is quite individual and not only based on weight, but how well your particular liver functions which can vary due to a variety of factors. Nevermind the factors of how fast you drank, when and what you ate, how tired you were, whether you exercised that day, how much and when, etc...

I also think that the measurement of #of drinks is NOT the way to measure your consumption as the amount of wine in a glass, the size of the glass, etc. vary too widely to say what 2 glasses of wine means. And you can't judge your impairment based on how you feel just because you don't 'feel' impaired. So its very hard to say what each person's "safe" amount to drink on any given occasion. I believe I am impaired at a much lower than .08 level, personally. So even if you fall "under the limit", you can still be impaired and thus responsible for any harm that results, whether or not there are legal ramifications.

I believe we should have a 0.0 policy for this reason. It's just too hard to figure out when a person is actually impaired. But at 0.0, if you are impaired, at least its not from alcohol!

Oh, I agree in general about drinking and driving. I do not do it. I am an adult and I have kids and I would just never do it.

I just don't believe for a moment that OP only had two glasses of wine over a period of time, plus a light dinner and then blew a .08. I'm not saying she should have been driving either - quite the opposite.

BUT I think that the posts on this thread seem to indicate that every drunk person claims to only have had "two drinks," when they're caught. Two drinks is socially acceptable, three makes you sound like a big old drunk. Three examples off the top of my head right here: the OP, the woman whose brother killed a pedestrian, the businessman who drinks at dinner with colleagues and has a DUI.

Again, I don't drink and drive. And I think that most of these DUI people are liars.

[Anonymous]

Never ever blow into the machine, no matter how much jail time they threaten you with. Don't blow, spend the night in jail and ultimately a lawyer can get you out of it if they don't have the evidence of the breath test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glass of wine is all it takes to get me feeling good. Which probably means I shouldn't drive after that. I mean, if I'm feeling nice and relaxed, its probably also effecting reaction time, right? I mean if I feel different after having a glass of wine vs having a glass of water, its effecting me, right?

feeling relaxed does not equal impaired.

i feel relaxed and stress free after a 5 mile run or a massage.

you moron! alcohol relaxes you because it depresses your nervous system.

what an idiot. you should not be allowed to drive even sober if you didn't know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so extremely humiliated. I am 48, never go out, had a friend in town, went out to dinner, had two glasses of wine, got in the car and pulled over because my friend had to pee. It was late at night and no place to pull over except side of road. She went, got back in the car and the lights started flashing.

I blew .08. Yes - I know I am guilty - yes, I know that I put lives at risk. I feel awful to the point where I don't even want to get aout of bed. I left messages for two attorneys who have not called me back. I have no idea what to do. I don't know what is coming down the road for me. I have so much anxiety over what I did that I just want to vomit. Even when I was youg, I would always take cabs and can't believe this lapse of judgement.

Can someone recommend an attorney for Howard County?
has anyone gone thru this and can tell me what could happen to me (they took my license, but I can still drive to and from work)
I obvioulsy learned my lesson and am grateful to God that no one got hurt - but when will my massive guilt and anxiety go away?

This is not me!!! I screwed up when I had been so adamant about drinking and not driving. I had more common sense when I was younger and just can't get over the fact that as someone who rarely drinks, never goes out, and then gets caught.

I am a former traffic prosecutor and a .08 is NOT a horrible score. In fact Howard County probably has some program you can enter and if you complete it you can afford a conviction. Most jurisdictions have soMething like this. Don't beat yourself up. We all, including me, have driven buzzed or drunk befoRe. Just don't do it again. You will be FINE.

I may be sounding dramatic, but I seriously can not live with myself right now. I have children - too young to know what happened. My husband, although supportive, is making me feel worse. I f*cked up, deserve what I get, but still - part of me can't help and think "why me". What is going to happen!!!!!!????

[Anonymous]

Oops I messed up - my response tomyou is above - second paragraph from last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A glass of wine is all it takes to get me feeling good. Which probably means I shouldn't drive after that. I mean, if I'm feeling nice and relaxed, its probably also effecting reaction time, right? I mean if I feel different after having a glass of wine vs having a glass of water, its effecting me, right?

feeling relaxed does not equal impaired.

i feel relaxed and stress free after a 5 mile run or a massage.

you moron! alcohol relaxes you because it depresses your nervous system.

what an idiot. you should not be allowed to drive even sober if you didn't know that.

no, you are the moron. one drink relaxes you but does not impair your driving. we all know WHY alcohol relaxes you, dipshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get hammered all the time, and I call a cab or call my wife.

This is not something to brag about.

I've never understood people who are so proud to state that while they may be getting older, they "refuse to grow up". I would think this would be something to be ashamed of, not brag about. My friend's husband put this on his FB page on his bday and I just cringed in embarrassment for him. Like I am cringing for you right now.

who said I was bragging? Point is, when I get drunk, I don't drive. Not that hard. Cabs are everywhere, and rather spend $35 on a cab than $3,500 in legal and court and insurance costs.

Well, the "I get hammered all the time" part is a bit concerning and smells of adolescent style bragging about how much one consumes alcohol, as if that has any bearing on their acceptability and/or popularity and 'coolness'. Wow, you must be a really 'cool' guy since you get hammered all the time. What fun you must be. Don't we all wish we were fun like you.

Why are you picking on this guy? He posted to say, yes, a sane person calls a cab after drinking. Even a sane person who gets hammered all the time. Good for you, sir.

Not picking on him calling a cab. That's good. Getting hammered all time? Not good and contributes to a culture that believes alcohol is a prerequisite to fun and social acceptance.

hah, I don't care what he/she thinks. If I go to a ballgame with 3 old college buddies, we are going to have a great time and pound multiple beers. Same thing if I am on a golf trip. Not like I go home and have 4 martinis by myself. Social drinking is fun, in my opinion. That isn't a brag, doesn't mean I am cool, just my opinion. Doesn't mean you are an alcoholic or have a problem, which so many have a hard time believing.

I hope one day you emerge from your extended adolescence. The phrase "great time and pound multiple beers" is a sign that you think it would not be a great time if you were not pounding multiple beers." Or on the golf trip. That's a red flag, which is why it seems to you that "so many have a hard time believing". Would you still have a great time if you and all your 'buddies' did not drink at all? You sound like someone in denial, to me. Or very young.

Not the "hammered" guy--or even a guy--but I'm preeetttttyyyyy sure you're projecting your experience with 1) an alcoholic family member or 2) a lazy beer-guzzling spouse or 3) both onto this guy who is drinking with his buddies.

I've found that to be the case with pretty much every discussion on DCUM about drinking: it breaks down to 2% of commenters who have sad histories of personal tragedy, either alcoholics or children of alcoholics on the one hand, and 98% normal people who enjoy a drink now and again on the other. The folks who have a tragic history with alcohol have my deepest sympathies, but there's a whole lot of projection going on.

[Anonymous]

just don't believe for a moment that OP only had two glasses of wine over a period of time, plus a light dinner and then blew a .08.

That's the problem with incuriosity: there are simply loads of things that one "doesn't believe for a moment" which happen to be true:

http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/aaap/aaap_3_pg4_pop1.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

just don't believe for a moment that OP only had two glasses of wine over a period of time, plus a light dinner and then blew a .08.

That's the problem with incuriosity: there are simply loads of things that one "doesn't believe for a moment" which happen to be true:

http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/aaap/aaap_3_pg4_pop1.htm

Ugh. Using the word "incuriosity" makes you sound like a very stupid person desperately trying to sound smart. But more than that, study your chart. OP would have to be 120 pounds or less AND DRINK HER TWO DRINKS IMMEDIATELY, one after another. Otherwise, subtract, .01 for 30-40 minutes of drinking. OP said she ate a light meal with her two glasses of wine, which would take at least half an hour - probably an hour at least.

So basically, you are wrong. Nice try, though.

Do you do a lot of drinking and driving yourself? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

just don't believe for a moment that OP only had two glasses of wine over a period of time, plus a light dinner and then blew a .08.

That's the problem with incuriosity: there are simply loads of things that one "doesn't believe for a moment" which happen to be true:

http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/aaap/aaap_3_pg4_pop1.htm

Ugh. Using the word "incuriosity" makes you sound like a very stupid person desperately trying to sound smart. But more than that, study your chart. OP would have to be 120 pounds or less AND DRINK HER TWO DRINKS IMMEDIATELY, one after another. Otherwise, subtract, .01 for 30-40 minutes of drinking. OP said she ate a light meal with her two glasses of wine, which would take at least half an hour - probably an hour at least.

So basically, you are wrong. Nice try, though.

Do you do a lot of drinking and driving yourself? Just curious.

plenty of women are 110 lbs and would have two drinks within 30 minutes. don't be a dumbass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

just don't believe for a moment that OP only had two glasses of wine over a period of time, plus a light dinner and then blew a .08.

That's the problem with incuriosity: there are simply loads of things that one "doesn't believe for a moment" which happen to be true:

http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/aaap/aaap_3_pg4_pop1.htm

Ugh. Using the word "incuriosity" makes you sound like a very stupid person desperately trying to sound smart. But more than that, study your chart. OP would have to be 120 pounds or less AND DRINK HER TWO DRINKS IMMEDIATELY, one after another. Otherwise, subtract, .01 for 30-40 minutes of drinking. OP said she ate a light meal with her two glasses of wine, which would take at least half an hour - probably an hour at least.

So basically, you are wrong. Nice try, though.

Do you do a lot of drinking and driving yourself? Just curious.

plenty of women are 110 lbs and would have two drinks within 30 minutes. don't be a dumbass.

OP said she had two drinks and dinner. So, you're wrong. No way you can pound two glasses of wine and dinner in less than 30 minutes. Not even at Olive Garden.

Dumbass. Wow. Lovely. Sounds like someone who pounds several glasses of wine in several minutes. And then drives home since "plenty of women" do it.