DD not interested in learning to drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

Spending money on Lyft and Uber if you live in a big city is easily far cheaper than owning a car (up-front cost, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).

I think the folks who live in car-dependent areas don't understand how fully city-dwellers have clocked the costs of transportation. I know my mom comes to visit and is utterly mystified about why I might choose metro vs rideshare vs driving for any one trip. Eg, If it's just the two of us and we're going somewhere easily metro accessible, that's $12 round trip, cheaper than rideshare round trip, often faster than driving depending on traffic, and cheaper than $22 parking... But if we're going somewhere less metro accessible with free or cheap parking, or if there are 5 of us, we'll drive. And so on. It has never been worth owning two cars, or even owning one nice one. We've not only run the numbers, we live the numbers.

When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.

[Anonymous]

Driving is a skill like riding a bike or learning to swim. And the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to get over the hump and learn. It's scary in the beginning. Anyone I know who learned as an adult is a nervous driver.

Even if you think your child is going to live in dense cities for the rest of their born days, they will have occasion to need to drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

Spending money on Lyft and Uber if you live in a big city is easily far cheaper than owning a car (up-front cost, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).

I think the folks who live in car-dependent areas don't understand how fully city-dwellers have clocked the costs of transportation. I know my mom comes to visit and is utterly mystified about why I might choose metro vs rideshare vs driving for any one trip. Eg, If it's just the two of us and we're going somewhere easily metro accessible, that's $12 round trip, cheaper than rideshare round trip, often faster than driving depending on traffic, and cheaper than $22 parking... But if we're going somewhere less metro accessible with free or cheap parking, or if there are 5 of us, we'll drive. And so on. It has never been worth owning two cars, or even owning one nice one. We've not only run the numbers, we live the numbers.

When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.

Ugh. So insufferable. There are many other variables that dictate people's transportation choices beyond the "numbers". But surely you know that. Live your life and let others live theirs without all the condescension.

And no, I don't drive everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

Spending money on Lyft and Uber if you live in a big city is easily far cheaper than owning a car (up-front cost, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).

I think the folks who live in car-dependent areas don't understand how fully city-dwellers have clocked the costs of transportation. I know my mom comes to visit and is utterly mystified about why I might choose metro vs rideshare vs driving for any one trip. Eg, If it's just the two of us and we're going somewhere easily metro accessible, that's $12 round trip, cheaper than rideshare round trip, often faster than driving depending on traffic, and cheaper than $22 parking... But if we're going somewhere less metro accessible with free or cheap parking, or if there are 5 of us, we'll drive. And so on. It has never been worth owning two cars, or even owning one nice one. We've not only run the numbers, we live the numbers.

When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.

Ugh. So insufferable. There are many other variables that dictate people's transportation choices beyond the "numbers". But surely you know that. Live your life and let others live theirs without all the condescension.

And no, I don't drive everywhere.

Gosh, I sincerely did not mean to condescend. I was just commenting on the folks who say that non-drivers spend too much on rideshares, when most non-drivers are far more aware of the costs that most drivers are, and are usually spending less on transportation, not more.

But it feels like you're really defensive about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

Spending money on Lyft and Uber if you live in a big city is easily far cheaper than owning a car (up-front cost, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).

I think the folks who live in car-dependent areas don't understand how fully city-dwellers have clocked the costs of transportation. I know my mom comes to visit and is utterly mystified about why I might choose metro vs rideshare vs driving for any one trip. Eg, If it's just the two of us and we're going somewhere easily metro accessible, that's $12 round trip, cheaper than rideshare round trip, often faster than driving depending on traffic, and cheaper than $22 parking... But if we're going somewhere less metro accessible with free or cheap parking, or if there are 5 of us, we'll drive. And so on. It has never been worth owning two cars, or even owning one nice one. We've not only run the numbers, we live the numbers.

When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.

Not need to drive frequently and not being able to legally drive at all are two seperate topics. Everyone that can afford to do so should learn to drive as a teen. It’s harder to learn as adult due to having an adult schedule. Plus it could be a lot harder to get practice hours in on permit once 18 and not living with parents.

[Anonymous]

People in this thread are not listening to each other.

One side says DC ought to know HOW to drive and HOLD a driver's license. Note well: this does NOT mean actually owning a car or driving a car regularly.

The other side says they live in an urban environment and do not need to actually drive a car regularly, but does not articulate why someone will NEVER need a drivers license and NO unplanned emergency situation would ever arise.

Separate from both of the above, there are many situations in my daily life where I NEED to show my drivers license because the bank or company won't accept my US Passport. That ought not happen, but it regularly does happen in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People in this thread are not listening to each other.

One side says DC ought to know HOW to drive and HOLD a driver's license. Note well: this does NOT mean actually owning a car or driving a car regularly.

The other side says they live in an urban environment and do not need to actually drive a car regularly, but does not articulate why someone will NEVER need a drivers license and NO unplanned emergency situation would ever arise.

Separate from both of the above, there are many situations in my daily life where I NEED to show my drivers license because the bank or company won't accept my US Passport. That ought not happen, but it regularly does happen in real life.

There are non-driver state IDs that are accepted for adults who don’t have a driver’s license.

Many people (likely a majority) who live in the urban core of major cities don’t even own a car. They seem to figure things out for an unplanned emergency…I am struggling to understand what emergency exists for those people that would require a car in this day and age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People in this thread are not listening to each other.

One side says DC ought to know HOW to drive and HOLD a driver's license. Note well: this does NOT mean actually owning a car or driving a car regularly.

The other side says they live in an urban environment and do not need to actually drive a car regularly, but does not articulate why someone will NEVER need a drivers license and NO unplanned emergency situation would ever arise.

Separate from both of the above, there are many situations in my daily life where I NEED to show my drivers license because the bank or company won't accept my US Passport. That ought not happen, but it regularly does happen in real life.

There are non-driver state IDs that are accepted for adults who don’t have a driver’s license.

Many people (likely a majority) who live in the urban core of major cities don’t even own a car. They seem to figure things out for an unplanned emergency…I am struggling to understand what emergency exists for those people that would require a car in this day and age.

I know of a few cases where a medical emergency happened in DC, but the 911 center did not dispatch help to the correct address in a timely manner. Taxi and Uber projected arrival times were not quick. Someone eventually just drove the victim to the ER.

[Anonymous]

Even if "an emergency" never happens, it's still a major parental FAIL to not see that your child has developed the life skill to drive.

[Anonymous]

I have no respect for someone who hasn't learned to drive. I would not date someone who hasn't learned to drive. I would not consider them a good spouse, a good parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

I do think a 25 year old should know how to drive...but I live in DC and literally haven't driven to a store pick something up for months. I walk to the grocery, hardware, retail, etc., or order items online or many times Intacart from Costco because I just hate driving out to a Costco. I am strategic in that if I take a road trip somewhere, I try to hit a Home Depot or something on the way home for items I would buy there.

I assume your sister if she lives in a big city has zero issue walking to any store where she needs to pick something up.

Knowing how to drive and choosing not to or not needing to is a VERY different thing than not knowing how to drive and thus never even having the option to drive yourself somewhere. It’s incredibly limiting.

[Anonymous]

lol. I even rented a stick shift car for a month and made them learn that in case they ever need to rent a car in europe or Asia thanks manual transmission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

I do think a 25 year old should know how to drive...but I live in DC and literally haven't driven to a store pick something up for months. I walk to the grocery, hardware, retail, etc., or order items online or many times Intacart from Costco because I just hate driving out to a Costco. I am strategic in that if I take a road trip somewhere, I try to hit a Home Depot or something on the way home for items I would buy there.

I assume your sister if she lives in a big city has zero issue walking to any store where she needs to pick something up.

Knowing how to drive and choosing not to or not needing to is a VERY different thing than not knowing how to drive and thus never even having the option to drive yourself somewhere. It’s incredibly limiting.

Well OK…but PP said her sister lives in the urban core of a large city and “can’t imagine not being able to just pop into a car and drive to a store”…when 99% of people who have a car in that same city don’t drive to a local store.

Again…the vast majority of 20 something’s who live in the heart of DC, NYC, Chicago, Boston, etc don’t own a car. I guess you can’t jump in a zip car if you want…but most of those people would prefer an Uber anyway.

I don’t disagree that it can be professionally limiting and you should have a license, but for an established city dweller who has no practical need for a license…it’s not really limiting at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

I do think a 25 year old should know how to drive...but I live in DC and literally haven't driven to a store pick something up for months. I walk to the grocery, hardware, retail, etc., or order items online or many times Intacart from Costco because I just hate driving out to a Costco. I am strategic in that if I take a road trip somewhere, I try to hit a Home Depot or something on the way home for items I would buy there.

I assume your sister if she lives in a big city has zero issue walking to any store where she needs to pick something up.

Knowing how to drive and choosing not to or not needing to is a VERY different thing than not knowing how to drive and thus never even having the option to drive yourself somewhere. It’s incredibly limiting.

Well OK…but PP said her sister lives in the urban core of a large city and “can’t imagine not being able to just pop into a car and drive to a store”…when 99% of people who have a car in that same city don’t drive to a local store.

Again…the vast majority of 20 something’s who live in the heart of DC, NYC, Chicago, Boston, etc don’t own a car. I guess you can’t jump in a zip car if you want…but most of those people would prefer an Uber anyway.

I don’t disagree that it can be professionally limiting and you should have a license, but for an established city dweller who has no practical need for a license…it’s not really limiting at all.

It’s limiting in many ways. The reality is majority of people without a license are people that can’t afford one and don’t have the means to leave their city anyhow. It’s is highly unusual for someone middle class or UMC to not be able to legally drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. My niece, who is now 25, STILL CANNOT DRIVE. Her younger brother, who is now 23, can.

She was always "too busy" but I think she was just scared. She also didn't learn to ride a bike (I kid you not) until about 5th grade when her mother FORCED it - as in, if you want to do that thing, you will need to ride your bike to it.

Her younger brother? Bike riding in 1at grade.

I think my sister should have PUSHED her to learn to drive in high school - now she's a 25 yr old who has to function (and spend $) with Lyft and Uber AND is trying to hide that she can't drive with her colleagues at work. And she lives in a big city so that's not a great place to learn to drive! Yes, she can have cat litter delivered by Chewy (and does) but honestly, imagine not being able to just jump in the car and drive to the store to pick something up??? I cannot!

Spending money on Lyft and Uber if you live in a big city is easily far cheaper than owning a car (up-front cost, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).

I think the folks who live in car-dependent areas don't understand how fully city-dwellers have clocked the costs of transportation. I know my mom comes to visit and is utterly mystified about why I might choose metro vs rideshare vs driving for any one trip. Eg, If it's just the two of us and we're going somewhere easily metro accessible, that's $12 round trip, cheaper than rideshare round trip, often faster than driving depending on traffic, and cheaper than $22 parking... But if we're going somewhere less metro accessible with free or cheap parking, or if there are 5 of us, we'll drive. And so on. It has never been worth owning two cars, or even owning one nice one. We've not only run the numbers, we live the numbers.

When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.

Ugh. So insufferable. There are many other variables that dictate people's transportation choices beyond the "numbers". But surely you know that. Live your life and let others live theirs without all the condescension.

And no, I don't drive everywhere.

Gosh, I sincerely did not mean to condescend. I was just commenting on the folks who say that non-drivers spend too much on rideshares, when most non-drivers are far more aware of the costs that most drivers are, and are usually spending less on transportation, not more.

But it feels like you're really defensive about it?

People like you who act wide eyed and clueless when you get called out…

Obvious disdain for your mother quoted below.

“When you live somewhere with only one transportation option, you get very small-minded about it My mom drives to the store that's less than a quarter-mile from her house. It doesn't occur to her NOT to drive if she's going further than her own yard.”