DD not interested in learning to drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism with this generation's disinterest in driving is justified, but if OP's kid is too busy, that's a different thing.

My kid is not old enough, but almost there, and she's really, absurdly busy. I can imagine her being even busier next year and saying, yeah we gotta put this off, there's no way I can pull focus from other things rn.

I agree it's an important life skill and it should be taught sooner than later, but waiting a few months (summer?) to me is no big deal and even appropriate.

But OPs kid already did drivers training. So how is she now “too busy” to actually practice driving? I’m assuming parents are driving her everywhere to all the things that make her so busy.

PP you quoted. You raise an excellent point. I don't know if what is keeping her DD busy requires driving (it may not) but yes, she should drive when you are taking her to activities.

[Anonymous]

Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Drivers Ed over the summer and practice time with mom or dad should NOT affect your high school course load or course selections or serious ECs at all.

Many Asians and Manhattanites waited to move for college or an internship to a more drivable city to try freeway, highway, urban driving classes in their extra time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Thx teenie bopper jokester.

Yeah go downgrade your classes so you can do more behind the wheel since you can’t manage your time.

[Anonymous]

Unless you live in NYC, she needs to learn how to drive. Why is she so over scheduled?

[Anonymous]

I have an adhd-inattentive kid with anxiety. Did NOT want to learn to drive, very scared of it, especially in our busy area. We made him get permit at 15.5. The last nine months we’ve been taking it very slow, painfully slow. He’s up to 30 behind the wheel hours and his confidence has grown exponentially. I wasn’t sure if forcing him was the right thing to do, but I’m now glad we did. He’s comfortable behind the wheel now. He’s gonna need more time but that’s okay. That’s why we started early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

They should be shamed. It’s your parental responsibility to teach this life skill. Parents are letting kids’ anxieties to hinder their development. It builds resilience to overcome fear and do things that make uncomfortable. That is another life skill. Once you overcome one hard thing, you are more likely to push through and overcome another. You give in and not make (encourage without option to quit), they are more likely to carry through with that mentality of shying away when things are hard.

Once your kid is eligible to take drivers training, they need to do that. They can drive on a permit until they are 18 if you feel like they aren’t mature enough/brain developed enough for a solo license. But they are driving. They should be driving with you in the car every single time they need to go somewhere while they have their permit, for as long as they have their permit. Having you cart them around at 16-18 while they sit there on their phone next you, because they don’t feel like learning to drive, is shameful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Drivers Ed over the summer and practice time with mom or dad should NOT affect your high school course load or course selections or serious ECs at all.

Many Asians and Manhattanites waited to move for college or an internship to a more drivable city to try freeway, highway, urban driving classes in their extra time.

I understand why Manhattanites would do this, but why Asian people? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a sophomore and age 16.5. She has taken the driving class (I forced it last summer when she had more time) but now is not interested in learning to drive. She is so busy with school and activities that I don't feel like forcing it. At what point do you force it? Or, do you not and let them decide when it is time?

It's a life skill, and she needs to learn now. She doesn't want to be 20 or 25 and still unable to drive a car. If she wants to wait til Summer, fine but otherwise it's time to get her behind the wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

Well in Europe you get to learn how to drink first and then learn to drive - it's not a bad approach actually.

[Anonymous]

I plan to teach my teen at 16 when she turns in 4 months and have her get a permit to do so, but we live in DC. I maybe move the car once every two weeks or so just to move it. We only have one car. I do not see the need to get an actual license at this point in time because there’s nowhere to drive. It’s super expensive to add her to the insurance for no benefit I can see at this juncture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plan to teach my teen at 16 when she turns in 4 months and have her get a permit to do so, but we live in DC. I maybe move the car once every two weeks or so just to move it. We only have one car. I do not see the need to get an actual license at this point in time because there’s nowhere to drive. It’s super expensive to add her to the insurance for no benefit I can see at this juncture.

It’s free or very low cost to be insured on your plan with a learner’s permit. Have her get her permit and practice- surely you can find somewhere to go in the car on the weekends. She can drive then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is like this too. Anxious and not interested. I don’t care, she has to learn to drive. It’s a non-negotiable skill she needs in life beyond high school.

I have an aunt who, likely, is ASD but my grandparents surely didn’t know that raising her in the 60s and 70s. They coddled and pacified her and never made her do anything uncomfortable. She moved back in with them in 1995 when her roommates all married and then she never left. My grandmother went kid to an assisted living community last year and it sent my aunt into a literal mental tailspin. My grandmother has never been better but my aunt CANNOT cope with any aspect of adult life on her own . Intellectually she can, she holds a job, has tons of money saved, drives etc but she has spent her whole life never pushing herself through any discomfort and now she’s absolutely drowning. Can’t cook, but won’t learn. Believes she’s broke (living in a fully paid off house) because she has to pay utilities now. She’s scared of everything- driving to a city, public parking, trying new food. I think of her often when making choices for my kids, how sometimes never pushing them to do necessary but hard things is unintentionally cruel and sets them up for difficulties later on that they simply become too mentally rigid to manage.

I have an ASD young adult. Perhaps walk a mile in their shoes before becoming so...awful.

I don’t think some people can see beyond what they know and some have small worlds. There are many many reasons that teens don’t get their license right away or at all. The know it alls are all here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

You’re not wrong about brain development… but your argument about having more time in college makes no sense. Sure, they might have more time, but who is going to teach them to drive?? They don’t live at home anymore, so obviously not their parents.

[Anonymous]

My niece also is 17 and isn’t interested in getting her license. We keep pushing her.
I don’t get this new generation