High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The reality is, there aren't enough spots at T1 schools for everyone going into high schools. Why are people shocked when their kids don't get into a T1 school? And justifying their belief that they should because they've paid XXX amount of dollars...ummmm almost everyone who is around paid the same amount, and has the same belief so, why do you think your money is worth more or your child is somehow the one who should get into T1? Every parent at say St. B's wants their kid to go T1, and thought that their son getting into St. B's would ensure their top high school choice but that's impossible when people insist that only going to a list of about 5 schools will mean success. Kids will have to go to "lesser" schools, and you are not getting scammed, or cheated, if that's your kid. I get being disappointed because what you had envisioned will not pan out, but that probably wouldn't have happened at Summit High School in NJ either because you have to start tracking in the top 10% of the class in literally middle school to even be allowed to take honors and APs. Or at Bronx Science because you needed to come in having already taken Geometry to make it into the top tier of students who will even be considered for the precious spots for APs. Your kid isn't going to fail at life because they "only" got into Fieldston or Grace or Dwight.

OP isn’t upset her kid isn’t going to a TT. She’s upset that she wasn’t warned her student was on track for a mediocre school despite good grades and scores. She was misled.



Being top 10% at summit is much easier than being median at St Bs. No one at summit would get into Trinity, even if the whole class applied.

Completely wrong. Summit (and Millburn, and others) is an excellent school and top kids there are as good as any kid in America. Since it is public it takes everyone so the "average" kid there is definitely lower, but the top are the top. I graduated from a similar school, went to a top undergrad and grad, and generally outpaced most of the NYC private school and boarding school kids. Probably the smartest kids I knew in college went to random public schools in flyover country.

This narrowmindedness is why the rest of America hates New Yorkers.

This. Drives me nuts. The top at Milburn are even more cut throat than the TT NYC private I went to because they actually have to do even more to stand out. And the parents...omg. We left to come back to the city because I couldn't bear the thought of having to deal with it for middle and high school. I'll take a NYC private school T2 every time if offered the choice.

They have to do more to stand out because, like their suburban parents, the kids are unremarkable. They are your 200k HHI, 2.1 kids, summer rental (2 weeks) families. That’s all fine but city families really demand more from life.

Wow. You are really embarrassing yourself. Your ignorant Manhattan-centric provincialism is making you look like an idiot. But keep on keeping on.

Not to dignify you with a response, but did you know that David Tepper's kids went to Livingston HS (same area as Millburn and Summit since you clearly never cross the river). I'm guessing he has a few more zeros at the end of his bank account than you.

Who is that

GIYF

If people have to google him then he’s not the household name pp thought. “Golly Gee, there’s billionaires in NJ! Must be a swell place to live fella. Suuuuurrrreee beats Manhattan!”

Can this side discussion please die. It is sad.

Agreed. Can someone please shed light as to where students from Buckley St B St D and other K-8s go at different percentiles? Where can a middle of the pack, 75th percentile, 25th percentile student expect to go without some major hook? If you are the middle of the pack at St B are you going to Collegiate? If not, why are people paying close to 700k now all in for those nine years?

Definitely not going to Collegiate if middle of the pack at St B. Collegiate is for the kids in the top 10 (assuming some of those top 10 kids go to Trinity and high end boarding as well).

Where are the median students going then? And what about the bottom third? This seems mediocre for what is a top k-8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pure snobbery on this board is a little shocking. I worked as hard in high school to get into an Ivy expecting nothing other than….an education and a chance to continue to work hard to get where I wanted to go. The expectation these places set you up for life seems like a bad idea to instill in your kid mainly because it isn’t even true for anything other than River Club membership. It’s icky, yes, but it’s mainly just stupid. If someone is “old family,” they don’t care to be your friend either way. You will just be yet another hanger on.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

Apply where you want but, with the absence of grades, I don’t think you’ll really know where you stand until you get the ISEE scores. Does the school give narrative reports? Admissions officer are pretty good at reading those reports and discerning if there are issues even if they’re not explicitly written in the report. You could also as the counselor why they think Dwight would be a good fit.

I did look at the Dwight college acceptances instagram and they’re not bad. I would say on par with Grace and Trevor. A lot of Emory, Tulane, Wake Forest with some more competitive schools sprinkled in. Honestly, college admissions had gotten so competitive that I think an Emory or BC is pretty good. It’s not the same landscape as when we were growing up. The question is do you think those outcomes and the day to day experience are worth 300k for high school.

[Anonymous]

All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

Sacred heart is for girls. Avenues and Trevor would be “bad” for someone who worked hard and paid a lot of money for a good boys K-8 and found themselves at median. At least, it is below what a lot of parents would expect going into K. The schools don’t publish accurate emissions so how would they know going in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

Grace and Trevor have been really moving up in the world. And Avenues to some extent though I still can't wrap my arms around it. Avenues parents act like they are in on some big secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

Grace and Trevor have been really moving up in the world. And Avenues to some extent though I still can't wrap my arms around it. Avenues parents act like they are in on some big secret.

The appeal of avenues is obvious, nearly open enrollment and you don’t get nagged for donations 24/7.

Grace and Trevor may or may not be fine. The issue is paying 65k a year for a stressful boys K-8, doing reasonably well, and still winding up at Trevor. That is understandably disappointing. If the K-8s can’t get middle of the pack students a better result then their value is suspect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Many of the boys in the k-8s go to boarding schools, around 50 percent or more. There are plenty of very good boarding schools for full pay kids who are middle of the pack academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

Sacred heart is for girls. Avenues and Trevor would be “bad” for someone who worked hard and paid a lot of money for a good boys K-8 and found themselves at median. At least, it is below what a lot of parents would expect going into K. The schools don’t publish accurate emissions so how would they know going in

I know SH is for girls. My point is that if you’re using a strict definition of “TT” there just aren’t that many options. Dalton only expands by 20–25 kids for 9th and Collegiate only expands through attrition. Trinity and HM take more kids but obviously they can’t take all the qualified kids. If you have a boy then you’ve eliminated 3 of the schools on this short list of TT schools. Even a good K-8 is going to send kids to variety of schools. The kids at our school are going everywhere from TT-3T and some Catholics. They are all good schools though.

You have to prepared for your kid not to get into the top, top schools and also be self-aware enough to know that your kid may not be a good fit for a very grindy school. It’s a difficult choice for upper middle class families. If 70k a year is nothing to your family then your kid doesn’t have much to worry about and will likely be fine wherever they go.

You have to do the same math when thinking about college exmissions. Most kids are not getting into an Ivy no matter where they go. Think twice spending the money if you’ll be really disappointed with Emory or Kenyon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

Sacred heart is for girls. Avenues and Trevor would be “bad” for someone who worked hard and paid a lot of money for a good boys K-8 and found themselves at median. At least, it is below what a lot of parents would expect going into K. The schools don’t publish accurate emissions so how would they know going in

I know SH is for girls. My point is that if you’re using a strict definition of “TT” there just aren’t that many options. Dalton only expands by 20–25 kids for 9th and Collegiate only expands through attrition. Trinity and HM take more kids but obviously they can’t take all the qualified kids. If you have a boy then you’ve eliminated 3 of the schools on this short list of TT schools. Even a good K-8 is going to send kids to variety of schools. The kids at our school are going everywhere from TT-3T and some Catholics. They are all good schools though.

You have to prepared for your kid not to get into the top, top schools and also be self-aware enough to know that your kid may not be a good fit for a very grindy school. It’s a difficult choice for upper middle class families. If 70k a year is nothing to your family then your kid doesn’t have much to worry about and will likely be fine wherever they go.

You have to do the same math when thinking about college exmissions. Most kids are not getting into an Ivy no matter where they go. Think twice spending the money if you’ll be really disappointed with Emory or Kenyon.

I agree with most of this except you should use the traditional definition of TT. 2Ts are not as good

[Anonymous]

Only thing sadder than a mediocre Harvard grad bragging going to Harvard when he is in his 40s, is a mediocre Harvard grad bragging about where he went to HS. It’s very small town behavior — like bragging you went to the cooler church….and?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition

Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?

I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok

[Anonymous]

Op - when they said Dwight i told her - look i would rather move to the burbs and send them to a great public than pay for a so so private. I also said data about their exmissions and other salient information are important to us. The admissions person said the only kids who get into ivies now are ones whose parents are legacies or pay and I said sure but if your point is correct then all these schools cost the same so no reason to believe a Dwight parent can’t pay their kids way into Harvard too. Ignoring exmissions as a data point is a dumb strategy. I was desperately trying to be polite but I was also suppressing some rage and a desire for them to understand my position so hopefully some fruitful communication took place

[Anonymous]

** also I should add I never mentioned ivies - she just got defensive when I asked about exmissions data. Whole conversation was weird