Childhood friend will stay with me for a week. What do you think will happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s gonna knock the dust off that p…

Had to laugh! Unfortunately that’s what it would be like if that happened!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women always need to comment on their body? Why is it relevant to the discussion that you are overweight? Fat men don't go around screaming they are fat.

Cut that insecurity please. Walk outside. You will see countless couples where the wife is fat and the husband is fit or vice versa.

Your appearance is in your head. You are drawing conclusions that are not even real.

It’s only in the U.S. and other western countries. In other countries it would be completely logical to say “of course not, she looks terrible” as an answer to the question in the post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fear is that he is a hobosexual. He is never going to leave. Partner kicked him out and your place is now his.

+1

+2. He has a grown kid now, my bet is on wife kicked him out after the kid left the house. He knows OP still has a thing for him and is trying to use that to his advantage. By day three he’ll pull the “you were always the one, my wife never understood me” BS.

Can’t provide the details but he won’t be able to stay even if he wants to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

What kind of person are you to even think that it's okay to sleep with a married man? Yes, I realize it's on his watch too but that makes you a damn mistress.

My question wasn’t if it was ok. It was would he try

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No he won’t try, and if he does you won’t take him up on it because you have self respect and integrity.

And girl, I bet you’re better looking than you think! Stop telling yourself that being a little overweight is automatically terrible. I am and I can tell you that my dh can’t keep his hands off me.

It’s because he is American and you’re his wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl, I’m not really sure what you are looking for.

You are obviously excited at the thought of sleeping with him, but when multiple people pointed out he’s married and this is a bad situation, you say “well it’s normal in my culture to stay with friends!”

Obviously it’s not THAT normal and common to have friends stay over if you’re giddy over hooking up with this guy.

Not sure why you’re so excited about a man who judges women on their beauty and sleeps over at other women’s houses while married. This guy is a loser, whether it’s culture or not. Not worth your time or mental energy.

I haven’t decided if I’d sleep with him, it’s a maybe.
And I don’t care about his moral qualities as I don’t want to have any sort of a relationship with him.
I am just wondering if he’ll make a move.

I didn’t want to go into details but I don’t want a relationship, with anyone. The guys who are interested - they are below me, the guys I’m interested in would probably not give me the time of day, I didn’t check.
A short fling with someone I won’t see for another few years if ever would be perfect, it’s not lack of self respect, but I’m not going to over explain myself here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what culture does look not matter? In what culture does it matter more?

Well in the U.S. and I think western countries in general it matters less how a woman looks.
Asia and Eastern Europe are more into “a woman needs to look great” thing

When people comments like that, I don’t think they are comparing apples to apples. Pockets in the U.S. think a woman needs to look great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a loser? What 40-year old man asks to crash on his friend's couch? Is his wife ok with this?

See above, it’s a figure of speech. Of course he’ll have a bedroom

No, the idea is any decent adult will get a hotel. Even if he wants some strange, he should invite you to the hotel lobby for drinks and take it from there. Show some class (well as much as a cheater can muster).

So wait if he doesn’t make a move he is still an indecent adult and a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl, I’m not really sure what you are looking for.

You are obviously excited at the thought of sleeping with him, but when multiple people pointed out he’s married and this is a bad situation, you say “well it’s normal in my culture to stay with friends!”

Obviously it’s not THAT normal and common to have friends stay over if you’re giddy over hooking up with this guy.

Not sure why you’re so excited about a man who judges women on their beauty and sleeps over at other women’s houses while married. This guy is a loser, whether it’s culture or not. Not worth your time or mental energy.

I haven’t decided if I’d sleep with him, it’s a maybe.
And I don’t care about his moral qualities as I don’t want to have any sort of a relationship with him.
I am just wondering if he’ll make a move.

I didn’t want to go into details but I don’t want a relationship, with anyone. The guys who are interested - they are below me, the guys I’m interested in would probably not give me the time of day, I didn’t check.
A short fling with someone I won’t see for another few years if ever would be perfect, it’s not lack of self respect, but I’m not going to over explain myself here.

They aren't below you. You just think you deserve a guy who is better. But really you're middle aged, overweight, and acting like a teenager giddy over the idea that a married man may hit on you. It's pretty pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, no, OP.

You state it is the cultural norm to stay with friends/family/acquaintances when traveling. He is doing that.

You are gross for thinking it will be anything more than that when he is married, and should have said no to hosting if that was at all on your radar.

But also, you need to work on your body image struggles. The reason he isn’t going to hit on you isn’t because you are overweight. It’s not like if you were thinner he’d be all over you.

Why should have I said no? I’m not going to hit on him or even hint at anything, he won’t know my thoughts.
As for being thinner, who knows. Statistically the younger and thinner one is the more choice she has. But denying the obvious has always been part of the mainstream American culture, it’s fascinating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a loser? What 40-year old man asks to crash on his friend's couch? Is his wife ok with this?

See above, it’s a figure of speech. Of course he’ll have a bedroom

No, the idea is any decent adult will get a hotel. Even if he wants some strange, he should invite you to the hotel lobby for drinks and take it from there. Show some class (well as much as a cheater can muster).

So wait if he doesn’t make a move he is still an indecent adult and a cheater?

NP. Asking to crash on OPs couch as a married, 40-something is what is indecent. Unless his marriage is basically over. But if that's not the case, I guarantee that this guy is not telling his wife the truth. Because that's a sleazy thing to do--it puts both the wife and OP in an uncomfortable situation. Just pony up the $250 and get a hotel. Especially if he is there for work.

OP talks about how guys she wants to date are beneath her. But this married cheapskate isn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl, I’m not really sure what you are looking for.

You are obviously excited at the thought of sleeping with him, but when multiple people pointed out he’s married and this is a bad situation, you say “well it’s normal in my culture to stay with friends!”

Obviously it’s not THAT normal and common to have friends stay over if you’re giddy over hooking up with this guy.

Not sure why you’re so excited about a man who judges women on their beauty and sleeps over at other women’s houses while married. This guy is a loser, whether it’s culture or not. Not worth your time or mental energy.

I haven’t decided if I’d sleep with him, it’s a maybe.
And I don’t care about his moral qualities as I don’t want to have any sort of a relationship with him.
I am just wondering if he’ll make a move.

I didn’t want to go into details but I don’t want a relationship, with anyone. The guys who are interested - they are below me, the guys I’m interested in would probably not give me the time of day, I didn’t check.
A short fling with someone I won’t see for another few years if ever would be perfect, it’s not lack of self respect, but I’m not going to over explain myself here.

They aren't below you. You just think you deserve a guy who is better. But really you're middle aged, overweight, and acting like a teenager giddy over the idea that a married man may hit on you. It's pretty pathetic.

No I don’t think I deserve someone “better” than me.
And I don’t want to be with someone I’m not excited about (beneath me, as I phrased it, but use whatever term you prefer).
This married guy is someone I can get excited about, physically. I’d never ever hit on him out of the blue, but I want to know if it’s even possible that he hits on me. It’s an ego boost more than anything (using the phrase from another topic).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

That guy is sketchy. And i wouldn’t be happy with the situation if I were his wife. Why not stay in a hotel and have dinner one night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what culture does look not matter? In what culture does it matter more?

Well in the U.S. and I think western countries in general it matters less how a woman looks.
Asia and Eastern Europe are more into “a woman needs to look great” thing

When people comments like that, I don’t think they are comparing apples to apples. Pockets in the U.S. think a woman needs to look great.

Doesn’t matter; the fact is, there ARE circles where it matters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So thrilled I married an awkward engineer. No former flings. 🤮 (Yea, I’m sure. DH took over a month to warm up to that first kiss.)

OP, you haven’t confirmed that you’ll say no. Why is that?

Ironically, the guy is exactly the type.
-OP