The ebb and flow of admissions hostility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious if one of the Northwestern ED parents could share what's so great about it. I visited and it's a pretty campus and the kids seem smart and interesting and there's nothing to dislike about it per se, but it did not seem like it was far and away the best at anything in particular except for Medill journalism school or maybe the arts. There doesn't seem to be any central quad or real traditions (unless you call painting the rock a tradition). Not trying to insult the school, but wondering how/why your kid views it as a dream school.

B10 Sports, Greek life, quite (surprisingly) social/well adjusted, near to a big city, collaborative, Midwest vibe.

Visit and talk to kids you actually know there. Not randoms. Oh and NU’s tour guides suck.

All of this. And the flexible quarter system is a huge bonus. Our DC is in at Medill, but wants to double major (probably in Econ). NU students are encouraged to take interdisciplinary courses, and the school makes it easy to double major. Many other schools either prohibit the practice (Princeton), make it harder to achieve without adding a 5th year (some elite flagships), or set up barriers to admission into competitive schools. (Winters however are tough, and they never cancel class).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Now that we're further along, I wanted to add to this a little:

March-April:

Dreams are dashed even when kids get a surprise admit to dream school, as parents bemoan their inability to pay for the dream school. It's sooooo unfair! And the rest of us wonder why parents let their kid apply to a 90K a year school they knew they could not afford. Lots of hand wringing about how colleges cost too much and it's not fair to consider home equity.

Those who did not get in are certain someone else got an unfair advantage and "took" their kid's spot. Legacy! Sports! Donors! First gen! Had to be something.

And some make themselves feel better by insisting it's yield control.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't have to be 90K, Northern Virginia were never going to let their kid go OOS. Kid was always going to be limited to an instate VA public

[Anonymous]

Very high level of envy and hostility at the moment.

[Anonymous]

OP here,
You are right, there needs to be a March:

"The last night on the Love Boat"

The crescendo of the dramatic arc of the story

-tears over the spreadsheet
-everyone is questioning life choices and having macro existential crises
(parents - "Why did I choose teaching over consulting, I can't afford to send my kid to college?" kids - "Why did I work my ass off in every AP class to go to Tufts?")

But then...parents and children come to peace with their decisions, wrapping up the year in a tidy bow. And next morning when they leave the cruise, hand in hand, waving goodbye to Captain Stubing and Gopher


...until, WL decisions come back...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very high level of envy and hostility at the moment.

Envy is a human reaction but most people go into this process knowing how difficult and unpredictable it is. This a very short window and there’s a lot of life ahead for everyone. The envy comes from treating college acceptances like a trophies instead of opportunities. Opportunities are everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,
You are right, there needs to be a March:

"The last night on the Love Boat"

The crescendo of the dramatic arc of the story

-tears over the spreadsheet
-everyone is questioning life choices and having macro existential crises
(parents - "Why did I choose teaching over consulting, I can't afford to send my kid to college?" kids - "Why did I work my ass off in every AP class to go to Tufts?")

But then...parents and children come to peace with their decisions, wrapping up the year in a tidy bow. And next morning when they leave the cruise, hand in hand, waving goodbye to Captain Stubing and Gopher


...until, WL decisions come back...

13:13 here. I am a fan of your work. I hope you write for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Now that we're further along, I wanted to add to this a little:

March-April:

Dreams are dashed even when kids get a surprise admit to dream school, as parents bemoan their inability to pay for the dream school. It's sooooo unfair! And the rest of us wonder why parents let their kid apply to a 90K a year school they knew they could not afford. Lots of hand wringing about how colleges cost too much and it's not fair to consider home equity.

Those who did not get in are certain someone else got an unfair advantage and "took" their kid's spot. Legacy! Sports! Donors! First gen! Had to be something.

And some make themselves feel better by insisting it's yield control.

Boy parents: it was a bad year for boys. So unfair!
Girl parents: it was a bad year for girls. So unfair!