The ebb and flow of admissions hostility

[Anonymous]

Great post-I also have a Sophomore and a Senior. My sophomore didn’t ED anywhere cause or income was so much higher after a property sale. Now we qualify for full needs meets schools and trying some of the exclusive schools since it’d cost 1/2 of an instate VA school. ED reject here-but busy writing essays to apply to more Top 20s. No real break here. Luckily have some good acceptances already.

PP who said it never ends is right though-now it’s applying 50+ internships for the Sophmore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Thank you for posting this. I have two kids who are seniors - one was rejected early and the other was deferred early, so we are going nowhere during winter break so they can write a bunch of supplemental essays while our friends whose kids got into their ED schools are laying out at a beach in Mexico or Hawaii (and posting Facebook pics). Happy for them, feeling a pity-party for us. I doubt the ED kids (most of whom got into schools where they are double legacy - no bitterness, but that's just the truth) will be regretting anything in the spring but this is my first rodeo.

You just had to get in that double legacy dig - you proved ops point! Ha!

[Anonymous]

Dork rumspringa and Panic at the Disco! This was a fun read. I'm now going through this with my third kid, and I think this description is pretty spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Well done and so true. As a parent with one in college and another in the on deck circle this tracks. I would just add emphasis to two aspects. First, I don't think over estimate their DC' stats they just completely underestimate how many others have the same stats- it is literally 10's of thousands.
In addition the ED buyer's remorse much more of an issue than parents and your college counseling office acknowledge. . .

This part.

[Anonymous]

Really? I was always very realistic about my kid's chances. Remember that the people who post are self-selecting!

[Anonymous]

I love this so much, OP!!

Your December description resonates 100%. We’re finally coming out of the post-deferral disappointment, panic, and crankiness. Definitely gets easier with each RD supplemental essay DC finishes. GL to everyone else in the home stretch on that. Oof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Well done and so true. As a parent with one in college and another in the on deck circle this tracks. I would just add emphasis to two aspects. First, I don't think over estimate their DC' stats they just completely underestimate how many others have the same stats- it is literally 10's of thousands.
In addition the ED buyer's remorse much more of an issue than parents and your college counseling office acknowledge. . .

This part.

Yes. We’ve seen buyers remorse from a few kids who chose their ED school because they were trying to maximize the odds - feeder school or legacy. Those kids were happy at first but then had some serious “what ifs” when their friends had good choices in RD.

Never seen buyers remorse with kids who applied ED to the school that was their clear first choice above and beyond all the other schools, game theory be damned. No regrets there.

[Anonymous]

My 2024 was deferred and then hit it big time in RD with multiple T10/Ivies- in Dec I was in a panic and he filled out 15 new apps in 2 weeks over Xmas break.

I thought I’d catch a break this time, but nope! My 2026 was deferred from ED school and we are also stuck at home while he finishes up RD apps- very close now. I forgot what a major PIA it all is.

But, Op, that’s a very accurate description of my experience with my oldest. Lol. This go around I have less fkkkks to give because I know the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a parent of a college sophomore and a high school senior, so I've been on this site a lot over the past few years.

I've recognized a sort of cadence to the threads:
August-November - optimism. Families asking for school suggestions for their "high stats" student. Everyone underestimates the importance of safety schools. Everyone is high on life and possibilities.

November 15 - December 15
venom or bragging
Depending on how your ED decision lands, you are either estatic and bragging about being a "good parent" or you are lashing out about "hooks." (See the recent thread about legacy preference for reference)

The world is "unfair" for the first time in your precious snowflake's life...

December - everyone is refreshing the IG decision page every 10 minutes, you are looking up schools you've never heard of before and rabbit holing into some random kid from California. Your "high stats" kids scramble to look for safety schools that don't hurt their pride too much.

Panic at the disco

January- April
The honeymoon phase for ED admits. They are happily goofing off in class and gloating.

Dork rumspringa

April -
The honeymoon ends for ED admits as all of their peers receive news from colleges. Most feel some buyers remorse "X got into XYZ?! Why did I ED?! I could have gotten in too!"
Everyone is so exhausted and desensitized by this point that the yeses and nos just collect in a bucket to be analyzed and thought about at the last possible moment. You probably don't even check the IG "decisions" pages anymore. It's just exhausting.

May
No one cares anymore. because it all, mostly, worked out for most kids. Sure, there is a striver or two who got screwed because they didn't have any real safeties, but they usually get off a waitlist at Michigan or somewhere equivalent by August.

Travel safely my fellow parents. You will survive this.

Hall of fame post. Absolute gold.

[Anonymous]

OP = DCUM GOAT

Agree - perfection. Should be required reading before entering this board.

[Anonymous]

This is so accurate. Especially the optimism followed by regret, and the disinterest in April/May over the IG accounts.

The cycle starting afresh in August…rinse and repeat.

Add in the independent education consultants preying on anxious parents, howking their wares, pitching their packages…rubbing their hands together..

[Anonymous]

For parents of juniors, your kids shouldn’t be scrambling over winter break. Even if they ED, have them do the other apps early. They don’t have to submit, but they will be ready. Your kid can still relax during this break if everyone plans ahead.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the humor! Seems right, even in my limited experience. It all works out for most is a great thing to keep in mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP = DCUM GOAT

Agree - perfection. Should be required reading before entering this board.

YES! Jeff and Maria - Pin it, please!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For parents of juniors, your kids shouldn’t be scrambling over winter break. Even if they ED, have them do the other apps early. They don’t have to submit, but they will be ready. Your kid can still relax during this break if everyone plans ahead.

Yes, yes. We all know this.

We tried our best, but . . .

Common sense does not always equal common practice.

This whole thing is SUCH A SLOG, and ED is a mind warp for sure.

So no judgment here. Just hugs to those whose kids aren't quite finished yet.

Home stretch - you got this!!!