Everyone is becoming a Grandparent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we just had the world’s most boring sleepy Christmas dinner with our two unmarried daughters in their late twenties. Just the four of USA Ho Hum. I thought by now there would be spouses and children and games and fun. Nope. Every year it feels sadder.

The two children you raised, aren’t enough to alleviate boring, sleepy family Christmases? They’re ho-hum, you say? I sincerely hope your girls either rebel completely and go spend holidays for the rest of time parting in Ibiza instead of with you (to alleviate the boredom) or choose (also for the rest of time) to spend Christmases with their in-laws. You are truly, truly a horrible parent for thinking what your children can bring you for excitement on holidays as opposed to thinking of them making the right choices for their life, partner and lifestyle as regards kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are fine with 2 or our 3 kids choosing not to have children. If you don’t want to raise them you shouldn’t have them. However, we won’t be leaving them the same inheritance. There’s no point in making them wealthy to what?? Leave it to the animal society? The one with kids will inherit 80% the other 2 can split the remainder.

Big mistake - this will cause huge issues between the siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are fine with 2 or our 3 kids choosing not to have children. If you don’t want to raise them you shouldn’t have them. However, we won’t be leaving them the same inheritance. There’s no point in making them wealthy to what?? Leave it to the animal society? The one with kids will inherit 80% the other 2 can split the remainder.

Big mistake - this will cause huge issues between the siblings.

They don't care. People who play these games were only ever getting a C in parenting at best and are selfish and short sighted people. You think they ever cared about sibling relationships beyond maybe setting them up against each other as competitors? Lol. It's classic. Guarantee there is a Golden Child and a Black Sheep.

FWIW my family is nothing like this at all and extremely fair and equitable and I am so grateful for that, truly a blessing. My siblings agree and it has been great to be a united front of friends handling elder care. But it pings hard when I see the above because it is not uncommon and is so, so toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are fine with 2 or our 3 kids choosing not to have children. If you don’t want to raise them you shouldn’t have them. However, we won’t be leaving them the same inheritance. There’s no point in making them wealthy to what?? Leave it to the animal society? The one with kids will inherit 80% the other 2 can split the remainder.

Big mistake - this will cause huge issues between the siblings.

They don't care. People who play these games were only ever getting a C in parenting at best and are selfish and short sighted people. You think they ever cared about sibling relationships beyond maybe setting them up against each other as competitors? Lol. It's classic. Guarantee there is a Golden Child and a Black Sheep.

FWIW my family is nothing like this at all and extremely fair and equitable and I am so grateful for that, truly a blessing. My siblings agree and it has been great to be a united front of friends handling elder care. But it pings hard when I see the above because it is not uncommon and is so, so toxic.

+1 this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are fine with 2 or our 3 kids choosing not to have children. If you don’t want to raise them you shouldn’t have them. However, we won’t be leaving them the same inheritance. There’s no point in making them wealthy to what?? Leave it to the animal society? The one with kids will inherit 80% the other 2 can split the remainder.

Those two kids may do a ton more for you when you get older…not sure why you would already penalize them.

Also, you could establish trusts to benefit them while alive, but just have the trusts only pass to their heirs, but if they don’t have any, then it eventually only goes to the grandkids no matter the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we just had the world’s most boring sleepy Christmas dinner with our two unmarried daughters in their late twenties. Just the four of USA Ho Hum. I thought by now there would be spouses and children and games and fun. Nope. Every year it feels sadder.

Why didn’t you all go on a vacation somewhere? This is the time to enjoy being adults together without any grandkids yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes we just had the world’s most boring sleepy Christmas dinner with our two unmarried daughters in their late twenties. Just the four of USA Ho Hum. I thought by now there would be spouses and children and games and fun. Nope. Every year it feels sadder.

Why didn’t you all go on a vacation somewhere? This is the time to enjoy being adults together without any grandkids yet.

People who are even approaching feeling this way are not exactly the traveling, adventuresome type. Really think through this mindset and also why they might have TWO daughters who, for the moment, don't seem to want what they were raised with.100 percent guaranteed this is a mom nightmare with an wither complicit or silent dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you can do about it. Accept it.

Not much you can do about it now. We raised our kids to celebrate family life. Even when 11 years old, they'd talk about what they were going to do when they had their own families. Our family has been blessed by 7 grandchildren thus far, and we hope to get a few more in the next few years.

OP, sorry it hasn't happened for you. I hope that it will.

As for the inheritance thread. We aren't waiting until we're dead to help our kids. Supporting kids when they have young families--and really need the help--has been the best choice. First, we help their families grow. Second, we get to watch it. We have found this model of support to be far better than waiting to give kids money when they will be in their 60s.

[Anonymous]

I would not leave a cent to a childless daughter unless she lived in poverty. I want what remains of my nest egg to go to my grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a cent to a childless daughter unless she lived in poverty. I want what remains of my nest egg to go to my grandchildren.

I do not understand families that subsidize their daughters such that they don't go on to have families of their own. Very strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes we just had the world’s most boring sleepy Christmas dinner with our two unmarried daughters in their late twenties. Just the four of USA Ho Hum. I thought by now there would be spouses and children and games and fun. Nope. Every year it feels sadder.

The two children you raised, aren’t enough to alleviate boring, sleepy family Christmases? They’re ho-hum, you say? I sincerely hope your girls either rebel completely and go spend holidays for the rest of time parting in Ibiza instead of with you (to alleviate the boredom) or choose (also for the rest of time) to spend Christmases with their in-laws. You are truly, truly a horrible parent for thinking what your children can bring you for excitement on holidays as opposed to thinking of them making the right choices for their life, partner and lifestyle as regards kids.

Jeez, maybe they don't want to be married to loser men who bring nothing to the table. And who would want a baby with the orange baby in office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes we just had the world’s most boring sleepy Christmas dinner with our two unmarried daughters in their late twenties. Just the four of USA Ho Hum. I thought by now there would be spouses and children and games and fun. Nope. Every year it feels sadder.

The two children you raised, aren’t enough to alleviate boring, sleepy family Christmases? They’re ho-hum, you say? I sincerely hope your girls either rebel completely and go spend holidays for the rest of time parting in Ibiza instead of with you (to alleviate the boredom) or choose (also for the rest of time) to spend Christmases with their in-laws. You are truly, truly a horrible parent for thinking what your children can bring you for excitement on holidays as opposed to thinking of them making the right choices for their life, partner and lifestyle as regards kids.

Jeez, maybe they don't want to be married to loser men who bring nothing to the table. And who would want a baby with the orange baby in office.

I feel really, really sorry for you PP, if this is truly what you think. Trust me when I say you’re on a path to real misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a cent to a childless daughter unless she lived in poverty. I want what remains of my nest egg to go to my grandchildren.

Parents that suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.....except me!! May not be in the cards for our family and it makes me feel a bit sad.

Well you will have lots of company. Young women in particular—more than half of them—are disinclined to become parents in recent surveys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a cent to a childless daughter unless she lived in poverty. I want what remains of my nest egg to go to my grandchildren.

I do not understand families that subsidize their daughters such that they don't go on to have families of their own. Very strange.

What?

Do you mean families should withhold funds from their daughters in particular, to pressure them financially to enter into marriage?? 😳

Good God man. It is 2026.