Paying kids airfare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not worth long discussions. Just pay for the ticket. It's only 400

+100
Safety issue, it is a kind thing to do for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 25, and in grad school. Thanks to having a fully funded position, she is proudly independent…though definitely on a limited budget (think less than $30,000 a year). I am retired, and have more than enough to live on.

Her serious boyfriend recently moved out of town. She is planning to visit him for the first time, which will require a 14 hour drive (round trip). I am very tempted to offer to pay for a plane ticket instead, which would cost me less than $400. What do you think?

Pay for a ticket. Why would you even hesitate. Offer her the ticket and let her decide.

[Anonymous]

Safety first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 25, and in grad school. Thanks to having a fully funded position, she is proudly independent…though definitely on a limited budget (think less than $30,000 a year). I am retired, and have more than enough to live on.

Her serious boyfriend recently moved out of town. She is planning to visit him for the first time, which will require a 14 hour drive (round trip). I am very tempted to offer to pay for a plane ticket instead, which would cost me less than $400. What do you think?

Nope


She and her significant other can work out and $plit their visits themselves.


Unclear where she works, even entry level staffers here make more than $30k gross. You can be on snap and fee bus passes and Obama phones at that reported income level.

[Anonymous]

I see she’s in a grant paid graduate program. Plus some stipends. Got it, negate my previous note.

But she and SO should fund the visits.

With my kids since age 12 I offer to pay half. They pay the other half. Need skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

For needs not wants.

Or anything educational.

Is this guy going to propose or is this a sunk cost ticket?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?

My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.

Op cares about her daughter.

DP, and this isn’t really fair. My kids, when in college, regularly drove 7-8 hours one way coming home on breaks. I didn’t love them any less.

We'd have a parent fly out and drive with them.

For a break, a 20+ can easily drive the 7-8 hours. It's not that difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 25, and in grad school. Thanks to having a fully funded position, she is proudly independent…though definitely on a limited budget (think less than $30,000 a year). I am retired, and have more than enough to live on.

Her serious boyfriend recently moved out of town. She is planning to visit him for the first time, which will require a 14 hour drive (round trip). I am very tempted to offer to pay for a plane ticket instead, which would cost me less than $400. What do you think?

Nope


She and her significant other can work out and $plit their visits themselves.


Unclear where she works, even entry level staffers here make more than $30k gross. You can be on snap and fee bus passes and Obama phones at that reported income level.

Grad student stipends do not excu $30K a year.

Maybe hold off on offering advice when you are out of your depth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For needs not wants.

Or anything educational.

Is this guy going to propose or is this a sunk cost ticket?

How can a parent know this?

Be real.

PS-marriage is not the sole benefit of being in a relationship , nor is it everyone’s end goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

Our son is in the same place (fully funded graduate position, but pretty low salary for where he lives.). He is very independent and frugal and supports himself on his stipend.

We (his parents) decided early on to pay for his flights home. This is mostly for holidays, but occasionally he visits for a short break. Our thinking was that we never wanted his tight budget to become reason for not visiting. Our family is very close and it's a small gift (honestly to ourselves) to ensure we have family time without stressing his budget.

I'm really happy we've chosen to do this and it hasn't impeded his independence. He pays for everything else and has learned to support himself on a modest graduate stipend in a HCOL area.

Just do what works best for your family.

OP here. Her coming or on a family vacation, would not be a debate.

This seems different: funding her to visit her boyfriend. It is open-ended (once I start paying for it), and I am just not sure it is appropriate.

But she’s not even asking you to. You’re setting up this straw man argument that she’s going to expect you to do this all the time and that you don’t want to… but she’s not asking you to!

Not worried about her expecting me to do this in the future.

I just like my actions to have a basis that are justified over time, to myself.

[Anonymous]

Be a parent and let your kid grow up and buy their own tickets if they want to save and spend on a ticket. If they don’t have the $ or don’t want to spend it on a ticket, don’t do it for them. They are adult and your NOT helping is what will help them define their own life choices.

[Anonymous]

If I thought that the boyfriend were a good long-term prospect for my DD, then I would fund the airfare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused as to how a 7-hour drive is such a big deal for a 25-yr old. Leave the house at 7am, stop for a lunch break, and arrive well before dark. What is dangerous about this?

My kids regularly made drives much longer than this during college by themselves. We're talking about a 25 yr old adult.

Op cares about her daughter.

DP, and this isn’t really fair. My kids, when in college, regularly drove 7-8 hours one way coming home on breaks. I didn’t love them any less.

We'd have a parent fly out and drive with them.

That’s the worst idea possible. If I was the BF I would figure out a reason that the specific weekend no longer works.

[Anonymous]

Trip is over.

Child survived, and has made plans to fly the next time.

I (OP) stayed out of it.

The range if opinions on this was interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trip is over.

Child survived, and has made plans to fly the next time.

I (OP) stayed out of it.

The range if opinions on this was interesting!

Awesome news OP! She figured it out.