Paying kids airfare?

[Anonymous]

I would not offer the fare for a ticket. But I would give generous cash gifts for birthdays and holidays.

[Anonymous]

I would pay no question. I did long-distance dating with my now husband of over 20 years but I lived at home so I paid. Why wouldn't you pay?

[Anonymous]

I would pay. Why not help make one thing easier for your child.

[Anonymous]

Why does this require crowd sourcing? You have the money and she doesn't, and you want to treat her to something. I don't understand why this is a question. My answer would be the same if she were 45.

[Anonymous]

1) he should be paying for her ticket, I assume he is working at a real job (tm).

2) this relationship will likely not last. Long distance sucks, not sure why he didn’t prioritize staying closer

3) I’m 100% sure she does way more risky things you don’t know about.

Can you describe the drive, like city to city or state to state?

[Anonymous]

My aunt is in her early 60's and single. She never left her home state and seems terrified of driving 5-10 hours on her own. Anyone that's done this knows it's literally no big deal. You just stop for gas like you would at any gas station near your house. You stop to eat and use the bathroom, probably at the same restaurant you ate at or a busy rest stop where a lot of people are at. No one is going to kidnap you. Better for her to start feeling independent now than to live her entire life in fear of some kind of nebulous threat like my aunt. And obviously she would have her phone.

[Anonymous]

DH and I were long distance for over 2 years. We essentially pooled our money to see one another. He made more than I did, but I had the more flexible schedule so did more of the traveling. Neither of our parents were involved.

Assuming they stay together for any length of time, this issue will continue to crop up so unless you plan to permanently fund them, stay out of it. Let them be competent adults and figure it out. Give her a cash gift as part of her Xmas to offset if you want, but she still might choose to drive and not fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not worth long discussions. Just pay for the ticket. It's only 400

This^. If it was $1400, could he a discussion but not for $400 when you can easily afford to help.

Even at $1400, if you can afford to pay it for a kid who is in grad school and living on the bare minimum, why wouldn't you? As long as it's not every weekend (ie they want to fly and are doing poorly in school), why not help them with their long distance relationship?

I did 18 months of grad school (that ran continuously, no summer break), and was a 7 hour drive from my husband. We saw each other every weekend except 4 during that time. We would either drive and meet halfway or one of us would drive. We flew a few times, but with getting to the airport and back it only saved 1-1.5 hours many times, so driving was easier and cheaper. But it takes a toll on you while you are in an intensive Graduate program (spouse was working so had it a bit easier).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't her boyfriend help pay for the ticket?

This
Why is this OPs business?
Ick !

Did you miss the part where OP said she was proudly independent?

Many women prefer to fund themselves through life. It is one fashioned to believe we need men to underwrite our needs and desires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does this require crowd sourcing? You have the money and she doesn't, and you want to treat her to something. I don't understand why this is a question. My answer would be the same if she were 45.

It is not a one time need though.

OP is asking about a parental, not financial, judgement call.

The range of responses is evidence that the answer is not straight forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not worth long discussions. Just pay for the ticket. It's only 400

This^. If it was $1400, could he a discussion but not for $400 when you can easily afford to help.

Even at $1400, if you can afford to pay it for a kid who is in grad school and living on the bare minimum, why wouldn't you? As long as it's not every weekend (ie they want to fly and are doing poorly in school), why not help them with their long distance relationship?

I did 18 months of grad school (that ran continuously, no summer break), and was a 7 hour drive from my husband. We saw each other every weekend except 4 during that time. We would either drive and meet halfway or one of us would drive. We flew a few times, but with getting to the airport and back it only saved 1-1.5 hours many times, so driving was easier and cheaper. But it takes a toll on you while you are in an intensive Graduate program (spouse was working so had it a bit easier).

That sounds a bit immature. Are you two very emotionally dependent on each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not worth long discussions. Just pay for the ticket. It's only 400

This^. If it was $1400, could he a discussion but not for $400 when you can easily afford to help.

Even at $1400, if you can afford to pay it for a kid who is in grad school and living on the bare minimum, why wouldn't you? As long as it's not every weekend (ie they want to fly and are doing poorly in school), why not help them with their long distance relationship?

I did 18 months of grad school (that ran continuously, no summer break), and was a 7 hour drive from my husband. We saw each other every weekend except 4 during that time. We would either drive and meet halfway or one of us would drive. We flew a few times, but with getting to the airport and back it only saved 1-1.5 hours many times, so driving was easier and cheaper. But it takes a toll on you while you are in an intensive Graduate program (spouse was working so had it a bit easier).

That sounds a bit immature. Are you two very emotionally dependent on each other?

Immature to want to see your spouse for a day or two every week for 18 months?!?!? Our relationship had been long distance for 3 years already at that point except for 3 months, so yeah as 22/23 yo, we wanted to see our spouse.

[Anonymous]

Does not sound like a serious boyfriend if he moved out of town then Expects her to drive 14 hours to see him. Sounds like a loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s quarter of a century old, she can pay for her own airfare if she wants to go fly to see her boyfriend.

It sounds to me like she wants to drive, which is a good experience for her.

She does not have the money to spare

It’s a 7 hour drive. Once you factor in driving to the airport, parking, going through security, going to baggage claim, uber to his place- it’s going to take 7 hours flying too. It’s not something her mom needs to I bc love herself in. Strange.

[Anonymous]

Haha that should say “Involve herself in”. The ads cover the last sentence of what I’m writing and I cannot see those random typos.