How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is crazy. I had an advanced degree and a career when I married DH. Unless you're marrying off your kids fresh out of college, why on earth are you paying for their party?

I have 3 kids. They are still young and nowhere near wedding age. I will be happy to pay or chip in for the wedding.

[Anonymous]

I have a large extended family, and we had a big wedding that my parents chipped in money for, and we paid for the rest (they paid about 60%, we paid about 40%). We have saved and earmarked money for our children's weddings. Each (1 boy, 1 girl) will receive $50k for their wedding. If they throw a big party, fine. If they have a small wedding and use the rest for something else, fine. If they elope and use the money toward a down-payment, fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college, grad school, weddings, first cars, first homes, etc. I can do the same for my kids so I will.

What if one of your kids doesn't want to go to grad school (or even college), lives someplace where a car is impractical, and never gets married? Do you just give them the money you would have spent?

Not in my house. I 100% educated my children without comparing the price tag. The leftover money was mine, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The average wedding cost in Bethesda is around $50k. Potomac trends higher at $80k for 200 guests…add in flowers, entertainment et al and let’s say you get to $125k.

It’s safe to say that some weddings cost $250k…but many, many is probably hyperbole.

Source for this information? Of course the average wedding in this area is much less than $250k, but that doesn’t mean that there are not a lot of weddings that are that expensive. Venues like Congressional, Chevy Chase, Belle Haven, Woodmont clubs; or the Hay Adams, Willard, St. Regis hotels; Mellon Auditorium; National Museum for Women in the Arts; Meridian House; Union Station, etc. each host twenty luxury weddings a year. They book more than a year in advance with back-up holds every weekend in the spring and fall. High-end wedding planners in DC consistently estimate all-in costs starting at $1500 per person, and this was two years ago. I think 150-200 weddings a year in the DMV at this price range qualifies as “many,” but I guess that’s subjective.

First…go do the same research I just did. I hate all the lazy dipshits asking for “your source”.

Second…some weddings cost this but not many, many as there are easily several thousand in this area.

Third, if you are going to spend that on a wedding then you don’t care if anyone contributes towards it nor should you. So what’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for college, grad school, weddings, first cars, first homes, etc. I can do the same for my kids so I will.

What if one of your kids doesn't want to go to grad school (or even college), lives someplace where a car is impractical, and never gets married? Do you just give them the money you would have spent?

Not in my house. I 100% educated my children without comparing the price tag. The leftover money was mine, not theirs.

And the weddings?

[Anonymous]

A lot of bitter people on here.

Yes, in 2025, a lot of families are still paying for college AND weddings. It stinks if you aren't one of those people, but yes it is still common. I don't happen to have any sons, but plan to pay for my daughters' weddings up to a certain amount. We are also paying for college, a home downpayment, contributing for grandchildren's education funds and hosting some vacations.

So what?

[Anonymous]

OP - are you asking this as the groom's family? Ask your son what he thinks. But I do think it is outdated to assume that the bride's family will pay for 100% of the wedding.

If the bride's family is paying, it's almost always because the bride's family is significantly better off than the groom's, and by paying for the wedding, they can drive more of the decisions (like the location, the venue, the guest list). I've had girlfriends whose father offered to fully pay ONLY if they hosted in their hometown and they turned it down.

[Anonymous]

We paid for both our son and daughter‘s wedding.
We did it because we wanted to and we could

[Anonymous]

We had a chunk set aside, not enough to pay for a whole wedding but more than a rehearsal dinner's worth: we just offered it. Here is $X. You can put it towards wedding, a house, a honeymoon, whatever you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you asking this as the groom's family? Ask your son what he thinks. But I do think it is outdated to assume that the bride's family will pay for 100% of the wedding.

If the bride's family is paying, it's almost always because the bride's family is significantly better off than the groom's, and by paying for the wedding, they can drive more of the decisions (like the location, the venue, the guest list). I've had girlfriends whose father offered to fully pay ONLY if they hosted in their hometown and they turned it down.

never once have I seen this - unless the bride's family is truly dysfunctional (which I have seen a couple times) and single/estranged/alcoholic mother could not pay a dime toward a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my two sisters’ weddings. Those were pretty expensive about 150 guests each. I did not receive anything for my wedding.

are you a brother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my two sisters’ weddings. Those were pretty expensive about 150 guests each. I did not receive anything for my wedding.

are you a brother?

Clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you asking this as the groom's family? Ask your son what he thinks. But I do think it is outdated to assume that the bride's family will pay for 100% of the wedding.

If the bride's family is paying, it's almost always because the bride's family is significantly better off than the groom's, and by paying for the wedding, they can drive more of the decisions (like the location, the venue, the guest list). I've had girlfriends whose father offered to fully pay ONLY if they hosted in their hometown and they turned it down.

This. I don’t think it’s the expectation anymore for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding. Not in normal MC families but I can see that if the bride’s family is very wealthy, they would pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for my two sisters’ weddings. Those were pretty expensive about 150 guests each. I did not receive anything for my wedding.

are you a brother?

Clearly.

It must be weird to have to pay for your own wedding and then be told you also have to pay for your kid's wedding. If you want to, great. But no one should have their hand in your pocket for a bigger party than they can afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have sons and daughters. We have paid for college/grad school and so far wedding for one DD. The groom’s family did not offer to help pay for anything for the wedding, but did host a welcome party. Cost-wise, those two events were not at all comparable, the wedding was more than 10x the cost of the welcome party. We are fine contributing to all kids’ weddings, but we are lucky and can afford it. Our experience cemented for us that we will not treat our sons differently - I did not like that it was assumed we would pay (my DD did not feel entitled to this and was extremely appreciative throughout the process).

I do think in UMC families in the DMV the bride’s family still usually pays for the entire wedding, and all three families I know who hosted in the last year or are currently planning mention $250k as the “number.” Of course, some of these weddings are for 250 or more guests. It’s an absurd amount of money and I find myself hoping these are lasting marriages.

Very few weddings are $250k, even in UMC DMV circles. I don’t believe you.

Indian weddings last a week, and have tons of different gorgeous outfits amd feast after feast

What percentage of the DMV throws lavish Indian weddings?